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I am in a relationship with a 26 year old girl who has dealt with vaginismus since her first intercourse which happened 10 years ago.
This experience was painful for her and she has been scared about penetration ever since.
Now she doesn't want to have intercourse at all for the rest of her life.
I only discovered recently she had this, as we never had actual sex, I am not even allowed to touch her with my fingers. We fool around to try to have fun without intercourse but I am getting frustrated of not being allowed to have a normal sex life with her. I am deeply in love with her but this thing is taking its toll over our relationship.
I tried talking with her, calmy but the only answer I am receiving everytime is a cold "No, never!".
I am the only trying to have a communication over this.
So I did a bit of research to learn more about it, read and watch testimonies of girls who went through this and made it out.
What I don't understand is that all these girls who discover this disorder try to solve this. But this is not the case of my girlfriend, she doesn't said she did not want to have sex, that means for her entire life.
I thought about having her consult a sex therapist, a psychologist, a doctor specialized in vaginismus.
She doesn't want. She says she does not need help.
And that she respects her opinion more than anyone else's.
As I am moving on, I don't see how I can deal with this as she refuses everything and I am giving all my energy to try to fix this.
The more attempts I am making, the more it looks like a dead end to me.
Please help me try to find out how I should cope with this and try to reason her.
Or if it is really meant to be like this, in which case I don't think I would be able to continue living on like this for a long time.
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