my grandad was diagnosed yesterday

Posted , 3 users are following.

[b:099eb04b61][color=green:099eb04b61] ym grandad was diagnosed yesterday. hes got a tumour in his pancreas and its inoperable. hes got just months left. i dont know how to cope. its so unfair. why did this have to happen to him? can this be related to smoking? or dangerous chemicals hes been forced to work with for minimum wage for years and years? i dont know what to think.. i dont know how to deal with it.. and i dont know why this has happened[size=18:099eb04b61][/size:099eb04b61][/color:099eb04b61][/b:099eb04b61]

0 likes, 4 replies

Report / Delete

4 Replies

  • Posted

    hi there ,

    i fully understand how u feel , as i lost my father to the same illness , many things had gone through my mind also , blaming mainly on the smoking , but i dont know if this is the real cause .

    You will be suprised how well u will cope , i send u my heart felt wishes at this extreamly dissressing time .

    There are extreamly good organisations out there that can help you with ur feelings , it important to stay strong , but never be afraid to let it all go from time to time . smile

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    My mother in law was diagnosed three months ago .Sometimes I think there are no answers as she is a fit non smoker who eats an organic diet and swims ten miles a weeek .

    What I have learn't is too try to get your loved one to re-educate their diet to 8 small snacks a day ,and when you have energy use it and when not rest xxxxx stay strong

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Im so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I understand what you are going though I lost my grandfather to pancreatic cancer in June this year. I dont know why this disease decides to strike certain people, my papa was 83 but fit and healthy, had never smoked, wasnt a drinker, was still very very active. There just seemed to be no reason for him getting it. If you need a chat im always here. x
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi, I am so sorry to hear your news. I lost my father on Father's Day 2012 to prostate cancer which had

    spread to other organs by the time of diagnosis. He was 87. My mother is 83 at the end of January, she went to live with my sister in California after Daddy died. She has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, and 3months to live. 12 years ago I lost my partner to the same cancer. Her tumour or whatever it is called has not grown since her scan in May which seems to have thrown the consultants there. She is in no pain, no

    vomitting in fact nothing similar to my partner. I am trying to persuade her to come home to go to

    Southampton Pancreatic Specialists. The Consultants she is seeing in the States are not specialised in the Pancreas. They are talking about Radio treatment at a hospital a long way from my sisters house where

    she is living, the travelling back and forth will be ridiculous. She says coming back to the UK is out of the

    question, we live on the Isle of Wight and because she knew someone years ago who had to travel back and forth every day to Southampton she has it stuck in her mind that it will be impossible. I have tried to explain that there is a hotel with room and meals provided next to the hospital so no travelling but to no

    avail. My younger sister with whom she is living is not good at all at sorting things out, arranging, finding

    out about things. Some years ago I had to fly out there to sort out an appt for an op that she had been

    trying to get for 6 months, which having strangled the information about the whereabouts of the

    hospital from her, we went down, straight to reception, were sent to bookings, and got the appointment

    for the next week, all within half an hour. Neither Mum nor she think to ask questions, or to keep on

    phoning to get results for scans etc., they don't want to know, and don't like to bother anyone! I am sure

    that if I could get Mum back to Southampton things would not be as bad as given, but she has given

    up and resigned to dying. I don't know what to do, am thinking I can't be strong yet again, I have had to

    do it so often for years, lost so many friends and family in the last 10 years. I have had several major

    ops myself, and smaller ones, but had to keep going for my parents' sake. My mother even expected that having had my gall bladder removed on the Friday, home on Saturday, I had to go to M&S for coffee on

    the Sunday with her and my father as she didn't want to go on her own with him. So there I was, stitched and bandaged, the District Nurse having been before we could go out, not exactly feeling like the

    merriest person having coffee that day, up to my eyes in pain killers, sitting in M&S smiling and

    chatting to friends of theirs we usually bumped into on a Sunday coffee. Daddy had dementia so was

    blissfully unaware anyway poor thing. The funniest thing was when a gentleman friend of theirs, about

    the same age, said to me how well I was looking these days, I didn't dare let slip I had only just come

    out of the operating theatre about 36 hours before or my mother would have murdered me! So you see

    she is not on the same planet as everyone, if she pretends not to know or see something it simply

    doesn't exist. I know my sister will not push her to come back to have specialised pancreatic

    treatment, because she won't want her to leave the States and is resigned to just go with the

    consultants view there. I don't have the finances these days to just fly out and drag her home, it is

    killing me knowing there are such expert surgeons available yet she will just let it happen with no

    fight and no encouragement to do so there.I lost any faith repeatedly over the years, then when Daddy

    had cancer on top of all those years with Dementia I knew any faith was wasted, why punish such a

    kind and good man even more. I feel maybe I am a jinx on anyone I love or befriend, the world could be

    a better place, safer probably if I wasn't around to put fatal curses on everyone. I would say that my late

    partner and my mother until mid 70's were heavy drinkers. She would never admit to it but from my

    earliest memories there was always drink on hand. I even used to have a bottle of Cherry B in my

    stocking at Christmas from about the age of 8. My partner smoked heavily too, but Mum never did smoke at all. I do know several other people who died of Pancreatic Cancer, all of whom drank alot. My partner was very active indeed, mum didn't do active the nearest she got to active was being in a hurry to get to M&S sales. Both ate well, my partner never bothered with sweets, chocolate or creamy puds but Mum loved all of that. There doesn't seem to be a concrete reason for this cancer, hers was only found by

    accident, in the States everyone over 50 has to have a colonoscopy for a start. I hope all of you have

    been able to find peace after the trauma of this awful disease, perhaps some of your loved ones have

    had that extra piece of time that is so precious. Take care

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up