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My health anxiety is ruining my life

Posted , 7 users are following.

atz0000
atz0000

Hi everybody. Normally, I try to avoid health forums, but I want to get it off my chest since I feel bad for bothering those around me with my constant health obsession. I have been experiencing anxiety since I was 13, and it was rooted in health worries. However, it would go and come back, and I was leading a pretty blissful life... Until the pandemic.

Last year in August, we had a COVID scare in the family and I was really nervous about my university opening back up. This made me hyperaware of my breathing. In October, I had an awful panic attack where I felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe. I havent been the same ever since. I am hyperaware of my breathing ALL THE TIME, and just sensations related to my chest and throat. I got tired of it because I am extremely sleep deprived, so I reached out to therapy two weeks ago and I have had good and bad days.

Lately, I feel like my bad days are even worse because I am constantly haunted by thoughts of asthma (never had it before, but my lungs were sensitive when I was younger so I had to use an inhaler during the times I was sick). When I am not thinking of having asthma, I'm worried I might have COVID and the vicious cycle continues. Note I'm only 23 and in university, and it has robbed me of any social life that I have.

I went to an internal medicine doctor in August who did a complete checkup of me and he couldn't find anything wrong, but I am thoroughly convinced there IS something wrong with me and I feel terrified that I might die a sudden death, without knowing there was something silently killing me. I asked my dad to arrange a pulmonologist appt this week so he can check my lungs and possibly call for a lung function test. I was trying to avoid going to the doc again bc I didn't want to reinforce my health obsession, but I can't help it

I'm sorry this post is all over the place and I might have rambled. Can someone please recommend any coping techniques because I really can't take this anymore. It would also help to know I am not alone 😦

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • sasical72
    sasical72 atz0000

    Edited

    Hi

    Health anxiety sufferer here as well.

    It's funny how when you read someone else's posts the anxiety is so evident and yet when you suffer it yourself it is very difficult to get out of it.

    One of the things that a therapist told me about Health Anxiety is that it really isn't about health, that is simply how the anxiety is manifesting. Anxiety and control.

    If you have just started with a therapist give yourself time.

    One of the things he made me do that was quite useful, was to write down my thoughts, then cross them out and then write a more positive (and realistic) though instead. By doing this over and over again your reset your thoughts, so the bad ones come less often. I have done this and it does work, however it does mean being prepared to put the work in.

    I could give you reassurance, like "you're ok, you're only 23...etc etc" But reassurance does not work, it is short lived, we always need more reassurance, no amount is ever going to be enough.

    Oh and exercise, even if it's just starting off with something very light and then progressing, that is really helpful in every way.

    Best of luck!

    • atz0000
      atz0000 sasical72

      Edited

      Hello, thank you so much for the reply! And for the great advice as well. It's without a doubt that it's a manifestation of our anxiety, rather than our own health. Yesterday and today have been my "good" days but bad nights. I realised I have a lot of (currently resolving) trauma related to the night, and I used to get panic attacks every night when my anxiety first began, and every time after that. Lately, I only experience "asthma/COVID" symptoms at night — heavy breathing, occasional wheezing, the occasional cough that makes me spiral. Unfortunately, my pulmonologist was fully booked for this week so I can only get an appt for the next. I keep feeling anxious about how next week is going to be "too late" so I'm just trying to cope with that and not be too hard on myself. Considering I'm fine during the day, and only fall sick at night... 😅 I am going to try the technique you recommended, my therapist recommended to me something similar. Thank you so much for writing to me!

    • atz0000
      atz0000

      Posted

      Wanted to note that I was diagnosed with chronic stress disorder years ago, and I develop a somatic cough whenever I'm in a lot of stress 😕 I would panic and run to my pulmonologist at the first sign of "asthma," and he would examine me and ask me to relax and sleep it off. I'm convinced this is the same case, since I haven't been getting a lot of sleep either haha.

  • daffydd22975
    daffydd22975 atz0000

    Posted

    ive sufferd with the same anxiety mainly over my heart since i was very young , had my first panic attack at 22 out of the blue , would never have thought it would have got to this stage where it rules my life iam now 37 and no ammount of meds can help me , i dont lock myself away i still do things as i usually would , but alone at night where i have no distractions is where the biggest battle lies , so i really do feel for you .

  • Idkanymore
    Idkanymore atz0000

    Edited

    As someone who went suffered through a panic attack and haven't felt the same since I know how you're feeling, I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. I went through a panic attack after a night of drinking a bunch and never felt the same since. Brain fog and tension in my head all the time. I feel spacey and nothing feels real. Doctors believes it's anxiety causing me physical pain. I was prescribed antidepressants (paxil), but am afraid of taking them because of withdrawls...etc. Am on my 20th day I think and I still feel the same if anything worse maybe. I have tried supplements like magnesium and omega 3, b vitamins, mostly everything I can find online and have tried breathing and meditating. Nothing seems to help this feeling. Maybe strong painkillers? Drinking and nicotine helps but makes everything a whole lot worse in the end for my head. I just want to be free. I need some advice or maybe a new supplement?

    • sasical72
      sasical72 Idkanymore

      Edited

      My first advice would be to quit the drinking and nicotine as these are really bad for anxiety, especially drinking. It is a depressor of the central nervous system and causes a lot of damage making anxiety worse.

    • Idkanymore
      Idkanymore sasical72

      Edited

      Hello Sasical,

      Thank you for replying. I haven't touched a drink in about a week. I'm proud of myself for that. I've smoked nicotine maybe two or three days ago but i'm definitely trying to cut back on both. I've been drinking a bunch of water and just going to work. At this point i'm just praying I'll feel normal again. Hope you have a good day!

    • sasical72
      sasical72 Idkanymore

      Edited

      Congratulations on that! You should be proud. Just keep reminding yourself and visualizing your nerves healing. Keep up the good work!

  • david57454
    david57454 atz0000

    Posted

    consider cbt therapy its effective if you work with a therapist that you get on with.

    I took 5 sessions ,and it was successful.

    recommend you research see if it assist you.

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