My husband died.

Posted , 6 users are following.

Please help, my husband died 11.01.17. As the weeks go on I feel I'm less able to cope than I did when it first happened. I'm sad , teary, moody, angry. Iwas proud to be married and I miss being part of a couple. I have some good friends, but I just feel so lost and alone. Is just reality has hit. 

 

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  • Posted

    Hi Michele

    Firstly I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I haven't experienced a loss like this so I cannot even start to imagine how you feel, but I expect what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You've lost somebody that you loved deeply. 

    People will tell you that time is a healer, and in time you will learn to cope and focus on happy memories.

    Have you joined any local support groups? Or been to your doctor for counselling? I really think something like that could help.....not to forget but just how to carry on and eventually find some happiness within these dark times 

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  • Posted

    Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss...grief is very much a personal, individualistic thing....no two people grieve the same way....I always remember when my sons granny died...it took a whole year before it hit him, and it just came out one night, so sudden and unexpected....it's quite normal, and healthy to feel all the emotions you are experiencing, from sadness through to anger. If you want to cry, then cry..if you want to scream, then scream your head off .....in some cases people become enraged!...my mums brother was Downs, and when he passed away my mum, a devote Roman Catholic turned her back on the church for many years, she was so angry that he'd been taken from her sad no one can tell you how long your feelings will last, they will last as long as they last.....I do hope you find some inner peace, and in time those feelings of loss, anger, sadness will be replaced by fond memories....give it time Michele, you're still in the very early, Raw stages, much love to you xxxx 

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  • Posted

    Hi Michele,

    So very sorry you lost your husband. I lost mine unexpectantly without warning 4 years ago.

    It is very different for everyone. But I remember that I seemed worse as a few months passed. I believe I was in shock in the beginning...and really truly did not understand that I would not see him.

    As the reality that death is forever began to hit...and that I was beginning to understand that my life would never be the same, I was all over the place with emotions. I thought I was absolutely crazy.

    I had one person tell me something that I hung onto and i would like to share it with you. She said, "you are not crazy, no matter what you are doing or how you are reacting. You are not crazy...this is grief".

    For some reason...I needed to hear that i had not gone "crazy" even though my emotions were so out of control.

    I don't know if you will ever need to hear that...but just in case you do or will at some point.

    I have no answers...but understand that absolute shock of trying to find the world that was just shattered and blown away.

    So very sorry you are going through this.

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you and I do find it helpful to know I am not crazy. My daughter had a meltdown yesterday morning. We sat together and cried. I know feel that all I want to do is cry.  I'm sorry you have been through this. x

       

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    • Posted

      Hello to Kathy and Michele

      I'm so sorry about each of your losses. I don't expect this post will be seen but I too lost my Husband u months ago. I am going through complicated grief and all the symptoms you both describe are totally overwhelming me. My relationships with family are breaking down as I am shouting all the time and very angry. My Dr and I think I need Counselling but the counsellor thinks I need to be in a stronger place emotionally for this. How do I get to this place then. I can't accept this separation is for ever and it's sending me insane. All the best and kindness to you.

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