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My husband has PTSD and is pushing me away, what do I do?

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austin10589
austin10589

My husband was in the army before we got together about 5 years ago and we have been married less than a year. We have always had our arguments and it seems our communication is totally off. He thinks everything I say has ill intent which normally starts a lot of our arguments. He recently quit his job and is at home tending to our farm animals and I am now pregnant and work full time. He spends a lot of time playing video games which I don't get too upset about since that is his only communication between him and army buddies or friends back home ( we recently moved from florida to tennessee). When we fight, he says we aren't right for each other, our relationship isn't a happy one because   we don't talk ( I don't know where that is coming from). The fights normally stem from him thinking that I have some underlying meaning behind some things I say but I can promise you , THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN FIGHTING WITH THIS MAN. The last thing I ever want is to be in an argument with him and I'm always right away trying to end the argument by telling him that we are married, I love him, we are bringing a baby into the world and we don't need to fight like this but he says those are lies and I want to fight. Every argument is torture and the awful things that come out of his mouth make me want to crawl into a hole and die.I have never once threatened to leave, never said I wish we weren't married, never threatened divorce. I always just remind him where I stand.  I am here for him, I love him, I would never leave and Im 100% in this relationship because I made those promises and said those vows. WhenI say those things, he takes them as insults because he thinks theres ill intent because he has always threatened to leave, even packed up his s**t and put it all in the car before. He has said he wishes he didn't get me pregnant and that he should have never married me. When the fights are over, he promises its not him saying those things and he doesn't mean any of them and would never go anywhere. I am a little bit of a sensitive person and am aware of my worth, there is only so many times a girl can hear those things and be broken down so much. What do  do? I feel so hopeless and just want my husband. The majority of our relationship is happy, we love listening to music together, singing in the car, we are big foodies so we love to just go out and try new foods and we loved moving up here to start our farm and love collecting the chicken eggs together. Intimately we are also very in tune (since the baby).He says after a certain point in arguments to give him his space which I do but it seems that point comes closer and closer in the arguments so no I don't even know how to gauge it. I just need help. Im deeply in love with this man and each time we fight it feels like the end of the world. The fighting has been non stop the past 3 days and all from small little issues that escalate so quickly that we can't seem to stop ourselves.

1 like, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • austin10589
    austin10589

    Posted

    I mean hence the baby not since the baby*
  • bill78216
    bill78216 austin10589

    Posted

    I’m so sorry to hear this about you and your loving husband. I’m currently going through a shut out/isolation from my former ex partner who suffers with ptsd. Like you, we started off with a beautiful relationship last year and I thought I had found the love of my life, however, in August things took a turn for the worse. After losing my job, he decided he would also leave. I was devastated to say the least. We maintained a pretty nice friendship which seemed to be better than the relationship; now I’ve learned that the relationship may have been too much pressure for him. I find that when there’s too much pressure, they can’t function as they once did. The stress cup is a wonderful article that explains this process. Ptsd is a horrific illness that takes control of the sufferer by way of symptoms which can lead to a host of behaviors. Being irrational is one of the most common behaviors to be aware of. I’m currently trying to reach out to my ex in hopes of getting our friendship back in place. I haven’t had a real conversation with him since November and it’s been heart-wrenching for me. I’m trying to give space and understanding for now, but I’m also reaching out to let him know that I’m still here supporting from a distance. So, all I can do is wait for now and pray for his return. I wish you the best with your husband.
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