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I've decided to document my journey starting prozac/fluoxetine as a way to cope and record my progress, as well as possibly help others!
Day 1 (Wednesday, Oct. 28):
I was prescribed 10mg of prozac this day and took it early, around 8:30. I had been suffering depression and anxiety which came out of nowhere for 5 weeks and decided to start medication. This was a normal depressed day, but it faded 80% at 6:00 like usual. I went to dinner with a friend and felt somewhat good
Bad morning anxiety. I think I was depressed most of the day, it did gt better around 6:00pm.
I woke up with my usual morning anxiety and bad diarrhea. But on this Friday I had an exam and noticed after that my intrusive thoughts had started to fade! They were still there but didn't scare me (fear of death, fear of time running out). I went home to visit my family this day and felt happier, though tired at times.
I was very busy Halloween day. Me and my siblings drove all around town to find last minute details for their costumes.I noticed around 2 that I was feeling down again. By 6:30, I had forgotten my worries and was in the moment! I enjoyed my night
Struggled to eat in the morning. Felt like gagging when I tried to take a bite, but I forced it down anyways. I was at a park trying to relax but the anxiety/butterflies feeling was strong. Throughout the day I had bouts of crying and hopelessness. At 4 I felt great again, not perfect but good!
Monday morning I had to go back to my apartment and say bye to the family. I have to increase to 20mg on Wednesday so I did around 13mg today. Bad morning anxiety like usual, and around 10:30 I had a complete breakdown and cried driving back. My mom talked with me over the phone for awhile to help me get through. I went to class and around 2:30, I noticed something weird. I wanted to listen to my music! I love music but haven't been able to listen to anyhting these past few weeks. I felt 99%! I was so happy, I actually went out to my favorite restaurant alone for the first time in awhile. Great day, no relapse!
Today the morning anxiety was pretty bad. I took 15 mg to prepare for the 2 tomorrow. I had a major, major panic attack as bad as my first one ever, I started crying uncontrollably. It lasted 1 minute because I stopped myself and asked "Am I going to let anxiety do this to me?" I took .5mg of xanax (which never helps me) and much to my suprise, I felt soooo normal at 1:30! I even danced around the room. Later that night I went to a movie with a friend and noticed a small amount of anxiety, like a slight gagging feeling. It strangely didn't go away at night like usual, but today was still pretty great! No depression today.
Increased to 20mg today. I had really bad morning anxiety and went for m CBT, we did a meditation exercise where you breath and imagine an ocean and I literally was having more anxiety! SO around 10:45 I took a xanax... I thought I was going to pass out. I just wanted to sleep all day. It was very hard to go to class after being in bed so long. At home I just tried to watch TV and distract myself. Didn't feel better in the evening like I usually do which was strange. Heightened anxiety all day!
Horrible day. Morning anxiety and bad, bad diarrhea. I could barely eat today, I had a small piece of pizza, and later on a smoothie. I stayed in bed most of the day which is very strange for me, but luckily my friend came around 5. I still had low anxiety, but had a better time a night.
I was on the verge of a panic attack in the car today, but I wanted to stay calm for my friend. I couldn't eat so I drank half of a smoothie. My friend left today around 10 am. When I got home, I had bad diarrhea and started crying. I took .25mg of xanax. So I climbed in bed and started writing this which has helped, I do feel less anxious. But the intrusive thoughts are starting to depress me again, although they are manageable.
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