My Journey with Prozac - Journal/Diary

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I've decided to document my journey starting prozac/fluoxetine as a way to cope and record my progress, as well as possibly help others!

Day 1 (Wednesday, Oct. 28):

I was prescribed 10mg of prozac this day and took it early, around 8:30. I had been suffering depression and anxiety which came out of nowhere for 5 weeks and decided to start medication. This was a normal depressed day, but it faded 80% at 6:00 like usual. I went to dinner with a friend and felt somewhat good smile

Day 2:

Bad morning anxiety. I think I was depressed most of the day, it did gt better around 6:00pm.

Day 3:

​I woke up with my usual morning anxiety and bad diarrhea. But on this Friday I had an exam and noticed after that my intrusive thoughts had started to fade! They were still there but didn't scare me (fear of death, fear of time running out). I went home to visit my family this day and felt happier, though tired at times.

Day 4:

I was very busy Halloween day. Me and my siblings drove all around town to find last minute details for their costumes.I noticed around 2 that I was feeling down again. By 6:30, I had forgotten my worries and was in the moment! I enjoyed my night smile

Day 5:

Struggled to eat in the morning. Felt like gagging when I tried to take a bite, but I forced it down anyways. I was at a park trying to relax but the anxiety/butterflies feeling was strong. Throughout the day I had bouts of crying and hopelessness. At 4 I felt great again, not perfect but good! 

Day 6:

Monday morning I had to go back to my apartment and say bye to the family. I have to increase to 20mg on Wednesday so I did around 13mg today. Bad morning anxiety like usual, and around 10:30 I had a complete breakdown and cried driving back. My mom talked with me over the phone for awhile to help me get through. I went to class and around 2:30, I noticed something weird. I wanted to listen to my music! I love music but haven't been able to listen to anyhting these past few weeks. I felt 99%! I was so happy, I actually went out to my favorite restaurant alone for the first time in awhile. Great day, no relapse!

Day 7:

Today the morning anxiety was pretty bad. I took 15 mg to prepare for the 2 tomorrow. I had a major, major panic attack as bad as my first one ever, I started crying uncontrollably. It lasted 1 minute because I stopped myself and asked "Am I going to let anxiety do this to me?" I took .5mg of xanax (which never helps me) and much to my suprise, I felt soooo normal at 1:30! I even danced around the room. Later that night I went to a movie with a friend and noticed a small amount of anxiety, like a slight gagging feeling. It strangely didn't go away at night like usual, but today was still pretty great! No depression today.

Day 8:

Increased to 20mg today. I had really bad morning anxiety and went for m CBT, we did a meditation exercise where you breath and imagine an ocean and I literally was having more anxiety! SO around 10:45 I took a xanax... I thought I was going to pass out. I just wanted to sleep all day. It was very hard to go to class after being in bed so long. At home I just tried to watch TV and distract myself. Didn't feel better in the evening like I usually do which was strange. Heightened anxiety all day!

Day 9:

Horrible day. Morning anxiety and bad, bad diarrhea. I could barely eat today, I had a small piece of pizza, and later on a smoothie. I stayed in bed most of the day which is very strange for me, but luckily my friend came around 5. I still had low anxiety, but had a better time a night. 

Day 10:

I was on the verge of a panic attack in the car today, but I wanted to stay calm for my friend. I couldn't eat so I drank half of a smoothie. My friend left today around 10 am. When I got home, I had bad diarrhea and started crying.   I took .25mg of xanax. So I climbed in bed and started writing this which has helped, I do feel less anxious. But the intrusive thoughts are starting to depress me again, although they are manageable. 

 

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  • Posted

    Day 23:

    I woke up with anxiety like usual, went to class, and then drove back home for Thanksgiving break. I felt less anxiety today and more like an empty/tired feeling. My stomach hurt in the evening due to my anxiety, but it was pretty bearable last night smile Definitely not myself, but bearable.

  • Posted

    Day 24:

    Woke up with the normal amount of anxiety, but today was overall bad. My stomach hurt ALL day and my head felt so tense, like a headache with no pain if that makes sense? Like stressed, even though nothing is wrong. I was constantly thinking "I'm wasting my time, I'm going to forget all this so what's the point" and had a bunch of crazy racing thoughts! I thought I was going to pass out when I was in the grocery store with my grandma and brother, I felt so tired. I had fatigue all day sad So not the best day! I also started taking magnesium pills just in case haha!

    • Posted

      Day 25:

      Woke up at 7:30 today. My stomach hurt again all day. Felt out of it, like I wasn't there. Saw the new Hunger Games which I was so excited for but didn't even want to go sad I felt empty all day until around 7:30 when I went to see a play at my old high school with my family. For the first I wasn't thinking "this is going to end so what's the point." This really gave me hope that these feelings won't last since I felt so good last night! My stomach still hurt though sad

    • Posted

      Day 26:

      Woke up feeling empty with the usual morning anxiety. But strangely, around 11:00, the fog lifted! My stomach still hurt a little, but I wasn't preoccupied with time and was just feeling like myself! This was one of the best days in a long time, and it was just a normal day! No special events or anything, what a great day smile

    • Posted

      Day 27:

      Woke up with a stronger morning anxiety then usual and had bad diarrhea. Throughout the day I had this weird empty feeling and my stomach still hurt. Also, my head was very tense. By the end of the night I felt very good again, around 5. Still, if I thought about going back to my apartment after break or the future I would get panicky and have to distract myself.

    • Posted

      Day 28:

      Wow, 4 weeks of this already! So today I woke up with very mild anxiety. I didn't feel any symptoms as the day went on except this gaggy feeling occasionally and also a general feeling of emptiness. I felt pretty good though, but around 3:20 my anxiety started to heighten again. It almost completely disappeared around 5, but thinking about the apartment or future still would make me panic a bit. But suddenly at 8:30, I could think about the worst possible scenario and think "well ok I can deal with that." I had no fear of anything irrational, just felt normal!! The days are definitely starting to get better these past few days, so I'm very optimistic that I will start feeling like this all day, everyday!

    • Posted

      Day 29:

      So yesterday I woke up with morning anxiety, and throughout the day had good moments, but for the most part I felt uneasy and had butterflies in my stomach. I'm really afraid for when my holiday is over and I have to go back to my apartment for two weeks sad I kept thinking about this all day yesterday. But at night, around 7, I did lose the anxious symptoms but some of the thoughts were still there. I took .25mg of Xanax during the day.

    • Posted

      Day 30:

      I only had very light morning anxiety today! I woke up early and showered, then I ran a mile with my mom and some neighbors smile after that I spent the whole day cooking with the family and playing with kids, it was so much fun! There were brief moments when I thought "This is going to be over soon so what's the point" and "I'll be alone in 4 days"... Those have been persisting. But at night I had a lot of fun as well, we went Black Friday shopping from 10 until 12:30 so I had a great day!

    • Posted

      Day 31:

      Today was great! I woke up with pretty bad anxiety, and was so worried about having to go alone in 3 days and time going so fast and blah blah blah... But for most of the day I felt completely normal! At 3:30-4:30 I started getting panicky and having racing thoughts again, but they went away and I felt so great all night! I could stay alone right now and be happy!

    • Posted

      Day 32:

      Wow... another near perfect day! I woke up with anxiety this morning and just wanted to freeze time, but after I got out of bed around 10:30 my anxiety became pretty light, and around 12:30 it completely vanished. I had energy and was happy and didn't care about timeat all, although I did worry about worrying about time, haha. Anyways, went to a family friend's house today and had a great time, then was able to just relax at home for the firsst time in awhile without any anxiety smile Maybe this Prozac is working after all!

    • Posted

      Just wanted to say well done to you for writing this thread. It is going to be really helpful for a lot of people. Thanks so much. Please keep going. I am on the same day as you so am finding this very interesting.
    • Posted

      Thank you for that Joe, this has been a very strange few months but glad I'm feeling much better now! I couldn't find any complete journals so I want to make sure to keep it going to help others! How are you feeling at this time?
    • Posted

      Day 33:

      Woke up with slight anxiety in the morning. Today I didn't feel depressed or anxious really, just a little bit off! I was somewhat tired all day and my stomach hurt too, I couldn't really tell when I was hungry so that was strange. But overall, not much anxiety

    • Posted

      Day 34:

      Made it to my apartment without a panic attack! But still another off day. I had bad morning anxiety (probably cause I was leaving). Didn't feel bad but didn't feel good. I had a strange empty feeling in my stomach, I couldn't tell when I was hungry or full which is very bizarre. But many of my symptoms have faded tremendously, the ones persisting are: morning anxiety, appetite problems, and feeling like I'm wasting time no matter what I'm doing!

    • Posted

      Day 35 (Tuesday, December 1):

      Hmm... Another off day. Didn't feel bad but still felt a little weird. So today I got up early for class and ate breakfast, class was good I only had mild anxiety. After that I got groceries and made lunch and had that weird, empty stomach feeling even after I ate. This lasted most of the day until around 5. Also, I felt a weird choking sensation in my throat which was also annoying! Anyways, I made a smores cake for my friends birthday and had a biofeedback session which didn't help much sad then I went to visit my friend and felt much better, didn't feel normal but pretty good!

    • Posted

      I felt very similar to Tuesday today, same stomach and throat symptoms. I ate well today too though! Went to my psychiatrist at 10:30 and he suggested I stay on my same dosage since my depression symptoms have faded. Around 6:00 I felt almost like myself again, no anxiety! But I was tired since I had a busy day and woke up early, so I was in bed relaxing at 8 smile I'm very optimistic, I think my anxiety symptoms will fade this month since impro
    • Posted

      improvement has been so good the past few weeks.
    • Posted

      Day 37:

      So today I woke up with a normal amount of anxiety, and had the butterfly feeling all day. It was an ok day, better then yesterday! Went to the mall with my grandma to do Christmas shopping so that was fun, she also suffers from anxiety issues.

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