My mom is sick and dieing and i think I'm haivng a breakdown

Posted , 7 users are following.

I'm having a very bad time.  My mom is very sick and dieing, I don't think she will be with me for much longer, this is very hard for me.  My anxiety since she got sick has been very heightened.  I try tell myself she could be with us for another year, but I know in my heart it wont happen.  I have a very hard time with death and I've been thru alot of it in the past 1.5 years.  I think I'm handling it but all I do is push it back down inside.  I've also been having medical issues myself, been having so much dizziness for the past 9 months,  it feels like I'm rocking/swaying and when I walk sometimes the floor is bouncing,  my ENT thinks it migraine associated vertigo and my thyriod meds have been going up and down for months, so I'm constantly worried that i'm dieing myself.  but in the past few months I've been constantly anxious, in the past week I've taken my xanax every day, I try to only take 1/2 of the .25mg but somedays I take the whole pill and then I worry about getting addicted to it.  I know its not much but still worry.  I beleive I'm also having depression about all of this.  I can't get in to see the psychologist until the end of May, so I'm trying to cope and its hard.  I think there is just to much going on.  I spend a lot of time now because of this wondering if its going to coz me to have a heart attack, because of the stress and anxiety.  My symptoms now are nervousness thru my entire body, lightheaded, chills, increases sweating with my hot flashes, I'm also post menapausal, legs and back ache, headaches, tightening shoulders and neck pain, worry every minute of the day, can't concentrate, can't remember things, shaking, heart pounding every morning when I wake up, constant checking everything on my body.  Since this vertigo started I spend every waking moment looking for what it is and why I have it.  I'm obsessed with it now and with my mom being sick all the time, the anxiety is much worse.  

I have an appt on Monday with my GP about this to see if he thinks I need meds.  I hate taking them, everytime I try I have awful side effects and they scared me to death.  So I opted to go back to therapy but have to wait for it.  

I'm curious does any here have constant fear and anxiety 24/7 every day and worry whats it doing to you?  

Thanks for listening. 

1 like, 13 replies

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Patty, I so feel for you.

    I have been going through every symptom that you spoke of. My heart goes out to you as I know that feeling of worry for your Mom. A couple of years ago I went through the same thing with my Mom. As both of my sisters had passed, I was on my own dealing with it. Now my anxiety (while my Mom was sick and passed did not rear its ugly head, it took awhile for it to blossom........I am post menopausal

    10 years and still have bad hot flashes. Now I am getting those nasty sweats, palpations, can not eat ( I have lost 16 pounds in the last 7 weeks or so).,anxious from the moment I wake even before my eyes are opem, nausous with bloating,gas and belching. My leg shake and jerk with nor contril over them,

    Also back in February I started having tachycardia (AVNRT) and am going to have an ablation the end of May as the medication I am taking for it is driving me crazy with side affects.

    So..........just remember there are so many people that are like both of us......Maybe that helps

    I would give anything to have my Mom back. Miss her every day along with my dad and both sisters.

    We will get through this!!!!

    Message me anything.....I am here for you


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    • Posted

      HI Ellen

      I'm so very sorry for all your loss.  My goodness I don't know how you got thru it.  Death is very hard for me, since my grandmothers death 36 yrs ago when I was about 17, I have not been able to handle sickness or death.  

      I hope the ablation goes well and you get relief.  Menopause is very hard, I have had an awful time with it.  My thyriod levels being off is not helping things either, I keep thinking there is somemystery illness going on that is causing my dizziness and thryiod meds to not work.  I keep checking my pulse cause it beating hard, but its always between 74-82, so not high, just scares me.  I really hate anxiety, the way it just comes out of nowhere, one day things are moving along great then bam the next anxiety sets in and you don't know what to do or why its happening.  I will be starting therapy again this month but in the mean time i'm a mess and worried that its going to kill me. 

      Its good tho to talk to others who understand.  Thank you so much for talking with me.


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    • Posted

      hi lolasmom ive jus replied to patti i have all these symptons plus getting another each day and tinnitus in 1 ear i wake up with severe morning anxiety and feel disconnected from my body the dr said its anxiety but i honestly believe its something more sinister i cant stop thinking about it its at the back of my mind 24/7 im also about 10 year post menopausal
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    • Posted

      Hi Debbie

      No i am not. Just trying to get through it......I continue to tell myself out loud that I am is only anxiety and it is no big deal.....

      Hoe are you doing? 

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    • Posted

      Hi there Elaine,

      Yup you sound just like me. My list of symptoms is so long.You are right that as one symptom seems to go away, another or two start.

      How did you get on with menopusa nonsense. I still feel there is stuff going on with that to.


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    • Posted

      I'm okay, not great. It's different day to day, bad morning, then I feel better most nights. My anxiety is in the mornings mainly. Hate the thought of getting up in the morning and feeling sick, so I guess this starts it all. Hope we all get some relief, as this is so debilitating. 
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  • Posted

    Hey Patty

    Sorry your having such a bad time

    you are doing the right thing going to see the doc you can get the treatment you need and deserve,

    This forum is excellent for support

    Stay Strongcool

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  • Posted

    Hello patty, Very sorry about everything your going through. 

    I really do feel for you. 

    I know this sounds hard to do, and ive never been in this siutation but at the moment you should think about spending as much time as possible with your mom. Make some happy memories. I know this is hard to do but trust me later on in life you will regret it. You have the chance now to spend as much time as you can with your mom and you should appreciate that warning. As when I was 11 i came in from home one day from school to find my dad had a heart attack, I was not allowed to go to the hospital till the next day, and thats when I had to say goodbye to my unconcious dad and he passed away shortly after. I know you probably dont want to hear about this but the reason I am telling you this is because I still to this day wish I could spend even spend a couple of concious minutes with my dad before he had to go. You have this oppurtunity so please do not waste it. Honestly make every moment count. 

    If you ever want to have a chat your welcome to. 

    I really feel for you, and I beleive you can get through this. 

    Katie x

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  • Posted

    Hey Patty,

    I'm sorry about your mum and you having to go through this. It is very possible that you can be in constant fear and anxiety 24/7. I had huge anxiety (for my own personal reasons) adnd was all fearing it all day and on edge. I would be really light headed, and dizzy and feel as though im swaying and don't feel like I'm living in the moment and im like 1-2 second lag behind. Everything was just so slow. I hope you get better. You will need to relax and be stress-free.

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  • Posted

    hello patty really sorry to hear about your mum. you are goinp through alot at the mo... i have the same symptons as you mine came on after an ear virus 8 months ago before that i was suffering from alot of stresr ive also got tinnitus in my right ear i feel as though im dïscoñected from my body and feel off baĺanced too i also wake up every morning with a panicky feeling im really convinced i have a brain tumour or some other fatal disease. itr in my head 24/7 and ruining my life. my dr gave me citalopram but i came off them side effects horrible
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