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My Mother Has Chronic Pancreatitis

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gina21958
gina21958

My mother has had chronic pancreatitis since 1993, and the doctors said it was from eating too much fat through the years. So she quit alcohol and her fat intake.  She’s always said she misses her wine. I have taken care of her at times when she’s had attacks, and taken her to her appts for checkups, always felt sorry for her when she had these attacks. Well last month my brother informed me that at this wedding that they both attended, she drank some wine, and I guess enough of it so that she should’ve been drunk, because I know that a person that isn’t used to drinking would at least be tipsy, which tells me that she’s drinking when she’s alone in the house. Plus My father died in 2012, and she has said she really doesn’t want to live. So Christmas I went down to the house, we had other family there, and somebody brought a bottle of wine, and she took a couple of sips, and said she was gonna have a little with her dinner. I told her if you do, I do not respect you in what you are doing..we had an argument, I really got upset, but didn’t leave, and I should’ve. But she said proudly, “and I had some wine at the wedding”..I walked off, and after awhile I was cordial since it was Christmas, but still wish I would’ve left!..I am going to call her today and let her know that I can’t condone her drinking alcohol because she is playing Russian roulette with her pancreas.  She also thinks it’s ok to drink alcohol because she says it hasn’t affected her pancreas, but I know alcohol can trigger an attack. If she was dying then I would understand but she isn’t. Also I won’t watch her try and kill herself doing this. So I’m about to tell her that I won’t be a part of her life anymore if she is going to continue to drink. I’ve been through too much with her pancreas problems, and I do not want to be there when she eventually has an attack, because I know she will not blame it on the alcohol. So I would like to know if I am in fact right that she this alcohol can damage her pancreas more?..Am I wrong that her drinking small amounts of alcohol is still a trigger for an attack? I’m really concerned about my mother but I will not tolerate this!..Thank you for your help, I hope I can get some feedback soon because I will be talking to her today.

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • Reefsider
    Reefsider gina21958

    Posted

    Hi Gina, I totally understand why you feel the way you do, she's your Mother and you love her and want her to have a good quality of life.  However, despite your efforts in the past, whether she drinks or not is not about her wanting to hurt you, to drink to spite your historical blood, sweat and tears when she was diagnosed, it's probably because she's an alcoholic, an addict, and no amount of finger pointing or arguing will change that.  Actually it could destroy your relationship and make your Mother even sadder and perhaps increase her drinking.

    If she wants to change you can support her in that decision and ensure she receives professional help but it's all down to her, not you, so go gently about it.  This are just my thoughts, others may have a different view.  Good luck.

     

  • DJ-RN
    DJ-RN gina21958

    Posted

    Telling her you will no longer sit back and watch her do this is the best thing you can do. I know it’s hard but you have to do it. If she doesn’t want to stop killling herself I certainly wouldn’t hang around and watch it. 

    DJRN

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