My Mum

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My mum is currenlty in hospital, with what we think is cirrhois, however as she won't tell any of us the truth with what is going on it is difficult to say. She has been a very heavy drinker for many years, and for the past 2 has had severe health problems. they have all been related to alcohol, but again, the lies and denial have been there telling us she's ok. My question to anyone that help, is how can I talk to her and get her to understand what is happening and the potential consequences? I've tried all sorts to try and help and nothing seems to work. I'm so worried that her liver will completly fail and I wouldn't have done enough for her.

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  • Posted

    Hi Jen

    I'm so sorry to hear about her mum - sadly there isn't a lot we can say is there.

    Alcoholism is an illness just as much as cancer or any other illness is.

    Why not spend some time reassuring her how much you love her and that you are there for her despite the amount of pain you must be in watching her so ill.

    Be strong for her and be there for her - she knows inside what she has done -does she really have to confess to anyone else of her mistakes or her illness.

    Be strong and post here of your feelings - it isn't a cure for your worry or your mums illness but it will help you to download your problems.

    Take care and stay strong

    Melbi x

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  • Posted

    Thanks for your advice Melbi.

    I've tried speaking to her in hospital, however she is now very confused and drifts off to sleep most of the time.

    The doctors have said today that the stomach ulcer she had has returned and has probably been bleeding for several weeks, although we haven't been aware of this. She is currently having blood transfusions as due to the problems with her liver the blood won't clot. The next 72 hours are critical and I have no clue what to do. I'm trying to find out some info on this on the web, as the doctors are trying to be nice without giving all the details (in my opioion anyway).

    I have a 15 year old sister and I'm more worried for her as this must be so difficult for her to understand and deal with. I don't know how to feel, how to react or what to do. It's all such a mess.

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  • Posted

    sorry to hear about your mum. my mum has recently spent 2 months in hospital with the same thing, prior to her going into hospital no amount of talking to her would have made her stop drinking. we've tried counselling but that didn't work, she just stopped going. My mum also became very confused when in hospital they say it is called encethlapathic, at one point they thought she was going into a comma and we were told the out look was bleak. luckely she came thorugh this and is now out of hospital, she has had to move into sheltered accomadation and has a carer who comes tomake sure she is taking her medication. my mum has not drunk for 6 months, she can only remember the last 2 weeks of her stay in hospital. Only now does she realise what she has done to her self. I try to spend as much time with her as possible, but my mum will never be the same person, she is always tired and has had another 2 stays in hopsital due to infection. i understand how frustrating it is watching them do this to themselves, i sometimes felt am i doing enough, but all you can do is be there and hope she realises what ahe is doing to her self and her family.
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  • Posted

    hi,dont know if this will help but i have had a severe drink prob in the past and it got to cirrhosis,just be there for your mum and be her support,if she needs you then lend her that shoulder to lean on.She can beat the drink and rule it rather than it rule her but she is going to need very strong and loving support.I do hope for all of you that this has made her realize what drink can do.I hate alcohol now and know it will never rule my life again.

    many blessings to you all

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  • Posted

    Hello Jen,

    I do hope that your Mum is getting better. I lost my wife a year ago this week to non alcohol related pancreatic cancer so I know how you must be feeling. Following the death of my wife, I,m afraid I took to the bottle but I am now getting over the immediate imapct of the loss and I am trying to address the new problem........alcohol. This may sound strange but I found your situation inspirtational for me as I really dont want to end up like this. I hope this helps you in your situation.

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