My Mum has dementia she is 84 years old

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I am only 61 years old and I am very forgetful. What should I do?

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  • Posted

    Go and see your GP and ask for a referral to the Memory Clinic.
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    • Posted

      Thanks tess22005. Well /i was 61 years old on April 17th 2016. And my Mum has Alzheimer's, she is 84 years old and lives in a Care Home. She has good days and bad days. She always remembers who I am when I phone. The Care Home is very expensive. About 600 pounds per week. Best wishes to you!

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    • Posted

      For some reason my reply to you tess is waiting for moderation. I was 61 years old on April 17th 2016. So, do you think I could have early onset Alzheimer's? All the best to you.

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    • Posted

      Same birthday as mine, Neville, but different age!biggrin I was 72 on 17 April this year.

      I think we all worry about dementia as we get older. I know I do. My mother also had dementia - the vascular kind rather than Alzheimer's, but symptoms are very much the same. I've been the absent-minded type all my life and this certainly hasn't improved with age. I've been temporarily forgetting how to work household appliances for at least 10 years now, and in the last 5 years I keep forgetting words (or wrongly using similar ones) in mid-sentence. If this is getting worse, it's only happening very slowly. When I forget how to do something, I don't panic, I just walk away and do something else, and when I come back to the washing machine, microwave or whatever I find I know exactly what to do! You need to remember that it's normal for memory and concentration to decline beyond a certain age, even in people who don't have dementia.

      Also, if you're your mother's carer you'll be under terrible stress, which always affects memory. I know that from personal experience, as an only child with a mother whose dementia lasted 9 years. Try and get some respite care from your local council, maybe even a sitter for a few hours a month so you can get away and do something you'd enjoy. And do ask your GP to refer you to your local memory clinic.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Lily. Do you know where my local Memory Clinic is please? I live in Plymouth Devon. I am 61 years old. Yet most days I can't remember a few hours ago. But I remember when I was 5 years old!! My Dad bought me a bike!! For £5!!!! Nowadays the bike that I have cost me £80!! I wish I could get some Respite Care Who do I email or write to please? Again, thank you very much for your reply. Take care..  

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    • Posted

      Once again thanks Lily. Your advice is great. I can tell you really know what it's like. At least I have two sisters. And my Mum is still alive. I love her so much. She is 84 years old. I find if I write everthing down. Where I am supposed to go. My appointments. What I need to buy. I keep a diary. Difficult for someome who has problems writing. But maybe a friendly neighbour could write all those things down? Or better, remind you in person? Best wishes. 

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    • Posted

      Yes Neville, memory is like that for all of us beyond a certain age. We all find it easier to remember our first day at school than what we had for dinner last night!

      I'm wondering whether any of the three of you actually lives with your mum. If one of you does (either you or one of your sisters) then that's the person who should apply for respite care. They can do this by asking your Mum's GP or the practice manager at the surgery.

      I don't know where your nearest memory clinic is, but your GP will. You need to go to him/her and explain everything you've told us on this forum. Then the GP will contact the clinic, or at least a gerontologist (that's an old-age specialist) and you'll get a letter from the hospital giving you an appointment.

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    • Posted

      Neil darling, I've reported your post and it will be removed, probably first thing tomorrow morning. This isn't because I was offended by it, but because you should never post personal information in a public forum. Unfortunately, there are people out there whose intentions aren't always honourable.

      Don't worry - it will disappear as soon as the site moderator finds my request to remove it, so there's nothing you have to do.

      You get a good night's rest now!

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    • Posted

      Thanks Lily. No none of us  lives with our Mum she is in a Care home 300 miles away from me. My sisters live very close to my Mum's Care home. Today I will go into my GP surgery and ask for an apppointment. To see if he will refer me to a local Memory Clinic in Plymouth. The only way I can remember the day is by keeping a written diary. Yet I cam remember clearly when I was 5 years old! And I am 61 years old now.

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    • Posted

      That's the right thing to do, Neville. Your doctor will help you with your problem. I'm glad to hear your Mum is being properly looked after and you're not having to cope with the stress of all that.

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    • Posted

      Pleased to hear from you Lily. I did it today. My GP said yes, I can go to the local Memory clinic, I really love my Mum. I am too old and confused to look after her. But I call her every day. She is 84 years old. I am only 61 years old. Yet it's so hard to remember everything. I try to keep a written diary. Where I've been, who I spoke to, what I have to tomorrow. That's OK if you can write or use a PC. I can so I am lucky. My Mum can't. Best wishes to you Lily. Neville  

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    • Posted

      I'm so glad to hear that, Neville. I expect you'll get a letter from the hospital in due course, though I don't suppose it will be any time soon, as memory clinics have long waiting lists. Glad to hear about your diary too. That's a very good idea that I might adopt myself.

      I'm sure your Mum appreciates your daily calls even if she doesn't always remember that you've called. You're doing your best for her. Best wishes to you too.

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    • Posted

      I expect so!!! So glad to meet someone who understands. Many people I meet think having a memory problem, is NO problem. I suppose what they don't realise, is it can can happen to anyone. Onceagain best wishes Lily. winkNeville

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    • Posted

      I am a specialist Dementia Nurse, neville.

      Tell me what is worrying you and I'll give you an honest opinion. But you MUST see your GP as well - this is ESSENTIAL, ok?

      love Tess  xx

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    • Posted

      YEs, OK tess. Well you will be the best peson to ask then, but yes I will see my GP too. It is that I REALLY can't remember what I have to do each day unless I write everything down. Very detailed. I write 'Get up such and such time, go here, go there, get there by ... buy this, buy that, write to such a person, Every single day. My scribblings go on for thousands of pages now. I am 61 years old. People also say I keep repeating things. It annoys them,but I don't mean to. 

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    • Posted

      And in a previous post you mentioned alcoholism, too.

      It sounds like you're very worried, and so would anyone be.

      I know you don't mean to annoy people, Neville. People don't understand.

      Can I ask who is looking after your mum?

      I'll stay in touch with you, okay?

      Speak tomorrow.               love Tess xxx

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    • Posted

      My Mum is in a Care Home. In Wokingham Berkshire They charge £600 a week. A lot of money for an elderly lady with Alzheimer's. Yes, I am also an alcoholic. I never get drunk. But if I don't drink a little each day, I can't sleep. And I am prone to having alcoholic fits. From withdrawal. Very dangerous. But at 61 years old, my body can't take it much more. I am also very depressed and forgetful. No, I don't mean to annoy people. Sometimes I do, by accident. If so I apologise. Best wishes to you tess. Lovely to to talk to you. It's nice that you will stay in touch. love Neville xxx  

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    • Posted

      Good morning tess. As I said my Mum is being looked after by her Care Home. It costs her £600 per week. She had sell their house when my Dad died about two years ago, to pay for the Home. I wrote a letter to her at the Home today, they should get it tomorrow (on 6th August 2016).  And yes, I am an alcoholic. I drink about 2 litres of cider every day. I never get drunk. In fact I ride abouty 6 miles per day on my bike. So I try to keep fit. If I don't drink some alcohol, I have alcoholic fits. They are almost the same as epileptic fits. Very dangerous when you live on your own, as I do. You wake up not knowing what happened, until your mind is working properly again. And often you can injure yourself whilst jerking uncontrollably and falling unconcious. But a medical detox in a rehab costs about £1300 per week now. They give you Diazepam to stop the fits. Then after about 4 days when you feel able, you attend counselling sessions. Many famous people have been to rehab. Eric Clapton sings about it. And the very talented Amy Winehouse, who is now dead. From an overdose of drink and drugs. What a waste of her talent. She sang a song called 'Rehab'. It went: ;They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, no, no, no'. And so are many of the great jazz musicians from the 1950's. Charlie Parker. And so on. And Rock stars from the so-called 'swinging sixties' too.I totally love music. I play jazz and rock and acoustic guitar. My favourite guitarists are Wes Montogommery, Joe Pass,,Allan Holdsworth (English), Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin!!!! The guy from Dire Staights. Andres Segovia for the best classical guitarist who ever lived. Spanish Famenco guitar is also one of my favourites!! Thanks so much tess. Yes please, stay in touch. I really hope everything is ok for you? If not send me a post, and I will look up on the internet and send you back links. Or just some bits of infomation that seem useful. Best wishes. neville79844.    . . ,  

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