my my mum die is it ptsd?

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my mum died 12 mnths ago,i have heart problems,,7 MIs and 2 cabgs,im 56 i have history of mental health probs,

I had a seisure where i doubled up in bed in march 2015,itmad e my heart go into spasm and couldnt breath

ive been in hospital since march 35 times plus since with poss Mis, they all class it as anxiety,i get tightness just over the heart situ,no pain

I cant mix with people they scare me to hell,,i am really in panic mode but it carries on ,everyday seems to get worse

ive beeen under gp,says he will refer to pychologist,my care worker nvr turns up for his appts,twice cancelled this week,I recently have been getting ripping open sensation in my chest,which caries on in musles? in the chest.i have it now,ive just started havingsleeping right thru the night,,6 hours plus where b4 i couldnt sleep or doze for more than a n hour,,is this ptsd..i miss my mum very much,,im frightened to death od dying,,,i thought past couple of days i was slightly on way up,but awoke with ripping sensation,dunno wether it woke ot came on str8 after local hospital,told me not to come there unless  i had severe chest pain.... told me not to come again,,i  have a pacemaker,i awoke b4 after reading other things on here wen ripping feeling and my bp was 134/77/50 paced...i have past two nights awoke up sweating buckets for no reason,,im at my wits end,,,gp asks me wat to do..i cant take ssri antidepressants as they make my anxirety worse,and i cant relax..longest ive been on was mirtizipine for 6weeks which i still have some problems with,,ie very pricly poopping sensations in my chest as when i 1 st has surgery 23yrs at my wits end,,,no proper sleep for 6mnths just dozing,can anyone help????im siblings arent speaking to me thru mums best frend died and my other best fren has cancer so they cant help............................

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  • Posted

    Dear a03, you sound like you have severe anxiety but no wonder after reading your history!!- just breathe man. Slowly and deeply take ur time to do everything and stay in the moment and try to concentrate on each task u have to do deeply. Ie washing up??- LOOK at the bubbles CAREFULLY, are they white?? Are they small or large?? Ask urself questions about ur task and STAY in THAT moment until u have completed the task. I hope it helps

    Kind regards Emma

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    • Posted

      i cant even do my washing up,my legs n arms ache n fidget so much,they havnt been washed since july 2014,cant even look after myself now

      regards Andrew

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  • Posted

    I can really empathise with what your'e going through. I had non-stop extreme anxiety lasting for about six months after I was referred for an endoscopy and colonoscopy for potential bowel/stomach cancer. It was because I was very anemic. It was just after the actress Lynda Bellamy had died of it, and I was convinced I had it.  I had the tests and they were all clear.

    Shortly after that I got a whiplash injury and had bad pain in neck back of head shoulders and back, plus TMJ, which is a mis-placement of the jaw which causes aches and clicking and crunching when you move it. I became really scared of eating, and only slept a few hours a night.  I had physiotherapy, did all the excercises at home as well, went to see a specialist about my jaw. He recommended ultrasound therapy, which I had, and it worked - the problem has almost totally gone. The little bit thats left is not a problem, I can live with it. 

    I got so panicked because I though I would always feel ill, and never get better. People told me I could get better, and also beat the anxiety but I didnt believe them.

    One day I woke up and the anxiety was gone, and hasnt come back.  It was so severe when I had it that I took overdoses and was taken to A & E about 5 or 6 times. I even was taken to a mental health unit, as I said if I was discharged from hospital without any help I would immediately kill myself.

    After a few days in the mental health unit I'd had enough and was begging to go home. I did, but was still being visited by the mental health team almost daily to check I was alright.

    I think alot of your'e symptoms are down to health anxiety because your'e  mum died, and you  beleive you will die from similar causes. It does sound like PSTD, but I'm not a psychologist.

    If you make changes to your life such as eating extra healthily, not drinking alcohol, excercising, going for massages - if you can afford it, going swimming, - as well as have help from mental health professionals, I'm sure you can get to feel better.  

    Its when your'e alone - which you can be even if you ive with your family - and feel there is no one to help and way out, that things get unbearable. I know because thats how I felt. I couldnt tak about my worries to anyone except my husband in private, because our son was taking important exams and revising every day, and he was anxious about that, so I had to appear calm and normal, when I was totally terrified all the time.

    I hope you find a way out of this - I believe you can - and I really feel for you because its the most appalling experience to have to go through.

    Lots of Luck

    Take Care.

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    • Posted

      thanku urula..ive no family,,ive no help,i was very healthy eater,,im lucky if i get a ready meal for me breakfast of cornflakes n orange juice,n sandwish of sardines for lunch,,i reallly ache wen standing n so weary..ive nvr drunk alchohol,but the gp gave me librium as i was too disabled and cant get out thru shear fear of people so swimming is out

      mental health services here in lancashire are rubish,i cannot get anyone other than a support worker n even he doesnt turn up for his running out of options,cant get anyone else as gp thinks im not that bad,,,tho  i have to wait in the car for my appt,then they ring me to come in.

      ive no other family,no frends,,i think il nvr get well now after 6mnths,,hiding panicking,,cant even stand being near anyone,,i start crying and even ran out of the ward with just their back to front gown on...i cant stand anyone,,,i know i ve been nervous or anxouis 23yrs ago when i had my bypass,but this is even worse,i worked in the nhs then,i cant find away out,even typing on this pc is geting me very anxious,,n causing stress,,,daft i know,,but wats gone on in my brain i dunno,,,, andrew

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  • Posted

    I'm sorry to hear of your loss, I know it's hard to lose a parent, no matter how old we are. It does remind us that we are too mortal. 

    I strongly feel offended that the hospital told you 'not to come back etc.,' since you are suffering and plus you do have a pacemaker. I'd advise that you go back to your Doctor and discuss what you have written here. It is your right to get the medical help you need. 

    Try and remember most of your symptoms are sounding like severe anxiety. Tell your Doctor you do want to rule out any illness, so at least that fear is removed from you. When you wake up sweating etc., tell your Doctor about that also. 

    Just because you cannot take some antidepressants does not rule out all medications for you. This is something your Doctor and you should work on together. 

    If you do not get help you can put through a complaint. (I am guessing you are in the UK). 

    I often watch calming videos, on YouTube when I am very stressed. Or even comedy shows, or I get invloved with something that takes my mind off things, something I enjoy. I know that is hard when you are so anxious. 

    Some yoga poses help too, if you search on YT for poses to relieve stress. 

    Keep in mind that losing someone important and close to you is one of the most stressful and hardest things to endure in life, by anyone. 

    So, dont be so hard on yourself. 

    Is there a Grief counseling place near you? Or even consider phoning a grief and counseling line, to talk about it. 


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    • Posted

      i cannot talk on the phone for long,my chest gets tight n stays tight,,i started with bereavement councelling but this last one i cannot even see him,,im so fearful of him as he sed its 12 appts only.

      i hate pcs as they cause anxiety too,even if im on one,,its my only link to people..i stay indoors n order food via internet n end up exhausted n so strressed

      no mental health seams im that bad,,yet im constantly asking for help from them,but nvr return the calls

      gp always asks me what do i want medication wise n mental health wise,,i ask,,he says hes refered me from march,,yet ive nvr heard anything,,i get on2 the dept but say theyl ring back but dont,,its like bashig my head in lanashire to get any help,,ormskirk hosp r terible,,think u have to b well to b seen or just mildly depressed

      thanx call

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