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The severity of my anxiety has stepped up over the last couple of months
and i thought i'd give a brief description of a typical night and morning living with it to see if anyone else has similar symptoms.
8pm--go to bed feeling not to bad to watch tv.
9-10pm--i'm watching tv but my mind is not really on it and the thoughts start going round in my head "how will i feel in the morning?"
"will i be able to go out?" "will i get bad news about something?"
"why is this happening to me?"
11pm--turn off tv and get the laptop out and do the same thing i've done for years look up anxiety disorders check the symptoms to see if they are like mine.lol.i've read them a million times so i know the answer.
1am-- go to toilet and look out of window wondering how many others are in my position.
4.30am--must have got some sleep but up again to go to toilet,back to bed and another hour of staring at bedroom ceiling with thoughts racing around my head.
7.00am--this is the usual time when i either have severe morning anxiety or it gives me a break..this morning like the past few weeks was bad..i managed to eat some breakfast without feeling too sick and took my meds..2 for high blood pressure 1 for anxiety and 1 for depression.
8.00am--the fun begins dry mouth butterflies in the stomach and the worst for me shaking legs and a strange burning sensation on my legs and arms,i only started getting these symptoms at the beginning of the year and had never had them before.
9.00am shaking comes in waves and is uncontrollable at times,in the past i stayed in my bed but it never helped and on some occassions the symptoms lasted for hours no matter which way i would lie or which breathing excercises i would do.
10.00am now i force myself out of bed legs shaking and into a bath,it helps eventually and the shakes eventually go and the thoughts stop racing in my head,i get out of bath and for about half an hour i feel not to bad but then the exhaustion hits me and in the past i would just slump back in my bed but i don't.
11.00am--weather is terrible so i can't go out which starts the anxiety thoughts again,it's a vicious circle if i stay in i feel terrible and if i'm going to go out i feel terrible..but i find things to do about the house to try and keep my mind occupied it's a constant battle but i know the alternative is hiding in my room feeling sorry for myself and making things much worse.
12.00pm--thought i'd share my thoughts with my fellow strugglers and look forward to the day when i/we can get up and go out without a care in the world...it will happen.
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