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My nights with GAD

Posted , 5 users are following.

john32948
john32948

The severity of my anxiety has stepped up over the last couple of months

and i thought i'd give a brief description of a typical night and morning living with it to see if anyone else has similar symptoms.

last night....

8pm--go to bed feeling not to bad to watch tv.

9-10pm--i'm watching tv but my mind is not really on it and the thoughts start going round in my head "how will i feel in the morning?"

"will i be able to go out?" "will i get bad news about something?"

"why is this happening to me?"

11pm--turn off tv and get the laptop out and do the same thing i've done for years look up anxiety disorders check the symptoms to see if they are like mine.lol.i've read them a million times so i know the answer.

1am-- go to toilet and look out of window wondering how many others are in my position.

4.30am--must have got some sleep but up again to go to toilet,back to bed and another hour of staring at bedroom ceiling with thoughts racing around my head.

7.00am--this is the usual time when i either have severe morning anxiety or it gives me a break..this morning like the past few weeks was bad..i managed to eat some breakfast without feeling too sick and took my meds..2 for high blood pressure 1 for anxiety and 1 for depression.

8.00am--the fun begins dry mouth butterflies in the stomach and the worst for me shaking legs and a strange burning sensation on my legs and arms,i only started getting these symptoms at the beginning of the year and had never had them before.

9.00am shaking comes in waves and is uncontrollable at times,in the past i stayed in my bed but it never helped and on some occassions the symptoms lasted for hours no matter which way i would lie or which breathing excercises i would do.

10.00am now i force myself out of bed legs shaking and into a bath,it helps eventually and the shakes eventually go and the thoughts stop racing in my head,i get out of bath and for about half an hour i feel not to bad but then the exhaustion hits me and in the past i would just slump back in my bed but i don't.

11.00am--weather is terrible so i can't go out which starts the anxiety thoughts again,it's a vicious circle if i stay in i feel terrible and if i'm going to go out i feel terrible..but i find things to do about the house to try and keep my mind occupied it's a constant battle but i know the alternative is hiding in my room feeling sorry for myself and making things much worse.

12.00pm--thought i'd share my thoughts with my fellow strugglers and look forward to the day when i/we can get up and go out without a care in the world...it will happen.

john

 

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • WalterMcDonald
    WalterMcDonald john32948

    Posted

    I wake up every morning with severe butterflies in my stomach and spend the day terrified that something bad will happen (impending doom)

    I went to bad at 2am, couldn't sleep got up again at 4 smoked a cig went on computer for a while. I managed to sleep from around 4.30 to 8

    Lukily I now have some diazepam but only get 28 a month and sometimes they last 2 weeks.

    From what I understand that day of waking up feeling good can only come with therapy which I cannot afford.

    Most of my symptoms are the same as you

    Maybe when the day comes when we wake up "without a care in the world" we can have a pint together.

    Good luck John

  • bambi0781
    bambi0781 john32948

    Posted

    Good luck john, waking up without a care in the world is the dream for me also.

    We will get there 😀

    I suffer with severe health anxiety, so every day I feel dizziness and headaches so naturally I think it's a brain tumour, fun and games!

    • john32948
      john32948 bambi0781

      Posted

      i was the same bambi,i'd feel a pain or have a sniffle and my anxiety went into hyper drive and i'd be off looking up every medical condition on the internet.lol..i feel i could be a trained doctor by now...dizziness and headaches are the most common symptoms of anxiety mostly due to the fact we are tensed up all the time and forget to breath.

      you will be fine

       

    • bambi0781
      bambi0781 john32948

      Posted

      Aw thank you for your reassurance!

      That comment did make me chuckle as I too always so to my boyf that I feel I'm more qualified than most doctors now with all the research I've done!.

      We will both be fine, anxiety will not beat us!

    • john32948
      john32948 bambi0781

      Posted

      We could open our own medical practice lol...

      it would be the only practice in the world where the doctors have more illnesses than the patients.

  • alexandra64765
    alexandra64765 john32948

    Posted

    Exactly how I've been would get tight in arm and shoulder and think something wrong been checked by Dr and arms fine just muscles tending from anxiety on meds now and cbt therapy stArts soon just had constant fear was dying a d worrying what I would be like next d a y
    • john32948
      john32948 alexandra64765

      Posted

      yes alexandra i must have had every muscle in my body aching at one time or another due to anxiety..i'm always making sure i don't tense up.

      i used to get the most horrible tension headaches and used to takes pills all the time for them which never worked..i have at least got those under control now..now it's just the other 100 symptoms i neeed to worry about now.lol

       

    • alexandra64765
      alexandra64765

      Posted

      Thoughts still enter head just all tensed up
    • john32948
      john32948 alexandra64765

      Posted

      There is all this advice going around about how to relax when your anxiety is high but what works for one person might not work for another.

      I think it's a matter of trying everything and anything to find that magic formula...I've had things that have worked short term but then something else crops up and I'm looking again.

  • restart
    restart john32948

    Posted

    Some nights I go to bed & hope & prey I dont wake up in the morning,this starts the obsessive thoughts spinning around my head, this = a bad nights sleep wich in turn = frustration/anxiety as soon as my eyes open.

    Since being on this forum & reading other posts I've seen other members with the same symptoms & I TRY to draw some comfort from knowing that tomorrow could be a better day, & if not them maybe the day after.

    You are not alone in this john, although at 3am it can feel like you are.

    Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight.

    • john32948
      john32948 restart

      Posted

      i've had those thoughts many times restart..and worry that in time if i don't fight this then the thoughts might be put into actions.

      i used to shun help but now i'm willing to try anything and in fact i ask my doctor to tell me about anything new that i can try.

      here's hoping we all get a good nights sleep 

       

  • Wendl
    Wendl john32948

    Posted

    I too find it impossible to start the day feeling any way near normal and lately i do not leave the house until 3pm at the earliest and then cannot wait to go home as soon as possible.

    i go to sleep quite late with the help of a sleeping pill ,and am happy to wake up as late as I can,as that way I eliminate the smmount of time that I feel so bad.

    i am convinced thatevery day is my last!!!

    I don't go into London much any more to see friends,as I am scared I will be taken ill either on the way or onthe way back ,and so never enjoy whatever I am meant to be doing.

    have not felt normal for at LEAST two years.Much too long.

    Hope we all find the answer to this dreadfu condition.

    • john32948
      john32948 Wendl

      Posted

      i hated going out wendl too in case like you i took ill or i met people and had to talk..but i do get out more by finding quieter routes and roads to go for long walks...although i don't know how easy that would be to do in London..

      i stay near the sea and love to walk along the shore it's when i'm at my happiest and only wish i could transfer that feeling to the rest of my life.

      could moving to a quieter area be an option for you?

       

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