My partner of 4 years has herpes and didnt tell me 😞

Im not sure i was in a state if shock when we visited the clinic , he said hes had 3 outbreaks during the year , he was given Aciclovir tablets on friday

At the clinic the nurse told me that i couldn't get tested unless i had the blisters or a rash i asked for a blood test but she said that it probably wouldnt give a accurate result i was thinking of returning tomorrow to get checked any way , can you please tell me what i need to ask to have done 😞

Im really struggling and my partner doesn't seam to understand me, he thinks im being dramatic

But i cant get over that he lied to me for a year and put me at risk and also took my right to chose if i wanted to have sex with him away from me

I cant sleep i cant eat i feel like im stuck in limbo

Thank you for taking ur time to replay

Wow, that's even worse how he's playing it down like it's no big deal! Since he has had 3 outbreaks, that would seem to suggest HSV2. You should confirm the type with him. If HSV2, his non-disclosure is unforgivable. If somehow HSV1, it is less infectious genitally than orally, and most adults already carry oral HSV1, so I'd still be annoyed but somewhat less so. That's me, though, and based on what I know of the two HSV types. Each country and healthcare system is different, so you may have to go private for testing without symptoms. In any case, you need the HSV type-specific IgG antibody test. The results are not always so B&W, so best to post your results back here (get a lab report copy).

Thank you i will ask tomorrow and if i have to go private i will make him pay , i will post my resluts tomorrow ot as soon i get them

I really cant thank you enough

Its nice to be able to talk to someone about it

Happy to help! Make sure the test is for type-specific IgG, not IgM.

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through... I never knew what herpes is as well I never had an outbreak or any symptoms of having it so when I found out I went to OBGYN to get tested they say they can't test me through blood or swab but if you go to your family physician and ask for blood test for HSV 1&2 because your man has it and you want to know if you have it. They for sure will test you!

Back to my testing I never knew about it but it's came back positive.

I hope this help...

Thank you so much this helps me loads

I jave had no symptoms wot so ever but lile nurse told me that doesn't mean he hasnt infected me she saod some people never have symptoms 😔

Im so sorry to hear about urs 😞

Thank you for replying to me its really helping me

I cant thank you enough

Ill be visiting today and will post reaults

Uve been so helpful , its like a weight has been lifted just by me having people to talk to who aren't judging me 😳

Im sure its the hsv2

He has totally destroyed me , he said he didnt tell me because he was embarrassed and because hed took so long to win me back he thought he would lose me , he kept this from me for a year and knowingly had sex with me , its true wot u said i must not be important enough , he thinks that im over reacting to all this , im so greatful of ur opinions as a outsider

I feel like i cant tell anyone like my closest friends because i feel ashamed and embarrassed now

How could i ever trust him again

Its nice to talk to aomeone as i feel desprate

I think the only reason he told me was because he works away and obvioulsy not seeing each other for a week were gona get intimate and hed had a out break the week before so he asked me if i had given him anything then lied to my face amd it still took him another week to tell me what hed got because i was making him go to the clinic !!!!

😔

Wow. Honey I think this is where you need to be strong and walk away from this boy. He has taken his faults and tried to turn them into yours, I wouldn't ever speak to him again if I were you. He not only violated you as a women but took your choice away indeed. I myself, have genital hsv1 but I'm unaware of how I contracted it. I have had the same partner for years and have only slept with one other person before him that I dated for 5 years. It is very tough, it's mentally draining, it definitely made me depressed but I have a man in my life that loves me and doesn't care about it. I think you need to move on from this boy because your not alone and you will absolutely be able to find love again. Just because you both have this STI now doesn't mean you have to settle for him, he lied to you. That alone should give you the strength to want better. I'm so sorry that he did this to you, no one deserves that. But unfortunately there are awful people in this world, selfish people too. Just know you aren't alone. It's more common then you think, if it makes you feel any better .. It's mere a skin condition nothing else. It's society and the media that's associated one with the other and puts it out there as if it's dirty. Try to be strong!!!!

I'm totally agreed with what Alex says! He is totally violated your right as a human, a friend and even a partner. I believe you can get over this just stay positive and keep moving forward no matter what he says. Believe that this is just a skin condition and it's does not lower your life span or even prevent you from reaching your career or goals in life. It's true no one deserves this but what we can do now is nothing we can't change what already it is what it is, but what you can change is now you know the truth what he has done to you is not right at all what are you going to do about it...

I wish you best of luck and stay strong 💪🏻

Thank you so much for ur kind and very true words, its the fact that im not sure if he actually passed it on to me or not thats driving me crazy and i camt get tested untill mknday now 😞

hes a grown man who should have known better !

I have total mixed emotions right now but i know he's been extreamly selfish and put me at risk and aslo not to mention that he lied to me for a year, he had no reason to keep this from me as he cuaght it while we had separated

Im trying to be strong but i feel so weak right now

I cant tell u how comforting and helpful ur words are to me it so nice to be able to get this off my chest and get impartial advice

Thank you so much

I indeed need to be strong and am trying to stay positive as i still dont know yet if he has infected me (which he probably has)

But that puts me in a position that makes my future uncertian rigt now

I am a utter mess and feel so lost right now

Again thank you for u kind and comforting words its helping me loads to speak about this without judgment or malice