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My partner's depression

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Lainey69
Lainey69

Hi. I am really asking if anyone else is experiencing problems with sertraline as my partner is. He was on citropram (not spelt right) then dr changed him to sertraline. 3 weeks he has been on them, increased after a week from 50 to 100mg and boy is he like a zombie..always angry and seems so fed up and down. Does anyone know how long this could last as Im hearing 6 - 8 weeks..and Im a depression sufferer too and feel useless and down that I cant help him

0 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • ashleyrocks910
    ashleyrocks910 Lainey69

    Posted

    Sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this.  Jumping up in dosage can bring back some ugly side effects,  but they do usually calm down.  6-8 weeks is the norm,  but you have to start counting from the day of the increase and not the first day that he started sertraline.  It's an ugly process,  but well worth the wait.  You can also give your doctor a call,  they are usually good about giving you some reassurance.  I am 3 1/2 weeks in and starting to feel better.  The first couple of weeks I was very angry, sad, and anxious.  It's understandable because you want the meds to work right away,  but unfortunately we have to wait and give the meds time to build up in our system and repair things.  Hang in there and give the doc a call as well.

    • Lainey69
      Lainey69 ashleyrocks910

      Posted

      Thanks Ashleyrocks. Yeah its been only 2 weeks then since his increased dose (3rd week this week) and he has gone thro the down bit then up and euphoric then angry and now down right peeved at the world and his attitude is just awful and he cant be bothered. We dont live together but oh boy, I am finding it hard myself with my depression too. I just want the man I love back and we didnt realise it would be such a slow process getting these meds inside to work...but u say we may have another 2 - 3 weeks yet...oh gosh
  • UK-Rose
    UK-Rose Lainey69

    Posted

    Hello Lainey,

    I feel the same with the low moods, irritability - (Day 12 since increase to 50mg / Day 27 in total) had a pretty tough day today and just want to shut myself away,  I feel just about ready to throw the towel in when I feel like this, but really don’t wont to as I know theres a strong chance it is all just side effects... and I have previously experienced a few hopeful days, which keep me hanging on...

    I think its hard at times because you feel like your going to be the only one this med isn’t going to work for... I know thats how I feel when the lows hit, here’s hoping it passes!!

    Good Luck 🌹 

     

    • Lainey69
      Lainey69 UK-Rose

      Posted

      Thanks UK-Rose Im just so concerned about him...I know he isnt right at all but he also so cold towards me currently and I dont know how to deal with that. Im hoping it does pass and we can get back on track but who knows...I just keep crying
    • Lainey69
      Lainey69

      Posted

      Well thought id just come back on and say there doesnt seem to be much improvement. He said he felt tense the other day after being out with his daughter...see I dont know whats happening, he replies to messages to his daughter but wont entertain replying to my messages but takes phone calls. I asked him today if he still feels love for me and he said he cant feel anything right now...that destroyed me....please please tell me there is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel? We now 3 weeks into his 100mg increase
    • UK-Rose
      UK-Rose Lainey69

      Posted

      So sorry to hear your going threw such an upsetting time... these side effects after increases can be pretty brutal, I am also guilty of shutting myself away from family, friends etc when it becomes too much... there have been days when I literally struggle just to put the bare minimum of effort, not because I want to be that way towards them... But because Im already dealing with so much mentally that im throughly overwhelmed and literally have nothing positive to give. Knowing I will be snappy, negative, Irritated... I dont want to put them threw that so will withdraw... I will of course make up for this when im on a better footing, but for now... I just have to get threw this period and concentrate on me... if this is how you feel your partner is coming across... then I can sympathise with his behaviour.

      All you can do is communicate with him, offer your support, and be there for him when he needs you, but please dont make yourself ill & upset in the process. It will all pass eventually... chin up x

      (COMFORTING HUGS💕wink

    • Lainey69
      Lainey69 UK-Rose

      Posted

      Thank you UK-Rose. I just feel helpless and feel like im causing him stress when I call him. The conversation only lasts about 2 - 3 minutes because I dont know how much to ask him and he doesnt make any chat. I also suffer with depression but my meds have always levelled me out. I just miss the man I fell in love with again, he is just a shadow of his former self and it kills me to see him like this. He has a daughter and manages to keep in contact with her...which is a little bit hurtful..we have only been back together since May after 15 years ago, I love the bones of him but am scared ive lost him to this horrible illness. Thank you for the hugs. I hope your doing ok
  • Lainey69
    Lainey69

    Posted

    Well weve now passed the 3rd week of the upped dose and he seems worse. He now says he has a chest infection and he looks rough, last night on the video chat I was talking to him as was supposed to go see him today, but he just switched the video off!! When I got him on the phone as asked why he said 'I dont need to listen to you' WHAT? These meds make you a nasty person too??? He said he needs space and will contact me. Well im now on the floor and dont want to do anything, what a nasty thing to say...I dont like this sertraline as theyve taken away the man I love 😭

    • UK-Rose
      UK-Rose Lainey69

      Posted

      Oh Lainey, I feel for you, I really do... no.one deserves to be treated that way. 

      Im not sure if he’s taking his side effects out on you, (and sometimes it really cant be helped with how these meds effect mood) but you don’t deserve it and its not your fault, so please don’t blame yourself.

      Im currently at 2.5weeks into 50mg (4.5wks in total) and after having a couple of upbeat days, I had to shut myself away & withdraw again from people yesterday... I felt so flat and emotional, like I had a hundred tears to shed, and I literally had nothing to say apart from 1word answers, I just needed / had to be by myself, as I had nothing to give... I probably came across as quite rude and ignorant tbh 😕although thats the very last thing Im trying to be.

      Yet today... Im more upbeat again, still low, but able to interact... Its crazy?? It really is an up and down affair trying to settle into these meds, never knowing what the next day is going to be?? 

      But I think you really do have to put your emotional well being  first, its not good for your own depression to have to take these hits, which are naturally upsetting to you. All you can do is tell him you’ll be there when he needs you, and offer you support if he wants it... but leave the ball in his court, you can only help and support someone who wants your help & support. Leave the door open so to speak...  and if he could speak to his doctor in the meantime to see if there is any additional meds (diazepam) or options available while hes going threw his adjusting phase it may help. 

      Sorry I cant be more helpful, and I hope things turn around for you both soon... try to remain optimistic Lainey, Take Care 🌹

    • Lainey69
      Lainey69 UK-Rose

      Posted

      Hi UK-Rose. Im all over the place right now. He wont make contact until he is ready and now that he has this chest infection it will be longer (apparently when he had last one he didnt make contact with his daughter for 11 days)!. No ur right, I shouldnt be treated like this but I seriously dont know what to do. I love him and he knows this but he hasnt even told me that for a week now. I just dont know anything anymore...my depression is in the background too and Im scared im going to hit the floor. If I didnt love him as much as I do, I wonder whether I could just walk away but I cant even do that. Im so sad and worried about him but the feeling of him worried about me doesnt seem to exist. Thank you for your lovely kind words x
  • Lainey69
    Lainey69

    Posted

    Ok..so an update. Yesterday I went and visited my partner. Oh my god, he looks so down trodden and unkempt. His home is like a mine field, he hadnt bothered to shower or bath (even tho he had run a bath, he couldnt be arsed), he not eating properly so that affects his diabeties, he now has a chest/throat infection thats affecting his asthma...and he just sits on the sofa staring at the walls or the floor. He is on day 25 of this bloody sertraline and I just dont know what to do next. He didnt bother to respond to a hug either...which is not him. Help please
    • UK-Rose
      UK-Rose Lainey69

      Posted

      Hello Lainey, I really hope your remaining strong and looking after yourself emotionally, all though I completely understand how tough this is being on you.

      It really does sound like these side effects are giving him a real tough time, 50mg to a 100mg seems a pretty big jump in such a short amount of time, along with his usual medical conditions on top plus infections - I can see why it is really knocking him about... and thats without the  withdrawal from citalopram aswell!! I think most of us could sympathise how hard going that would be.

      Has he gotten any antibiotics for is chest / throat infection, and has the doctor issued any diazepam / Xanax for his side effects yet?? 

    • Lainey69
      Lainey69 UK-Rose

      Posted

      Hey UK-Rose. Well Ive been to see him again today, dont know why I bothered tbh..he was again of a different status...he was angry that I had turned up again..unannounced. he couldnt understand why I was there (even though it his drs appmt tomoro, he didnt want me there). Told me to leave and take the car as no trains after 11pm..and now..now he NEEDS space...well this man has sort of pushed his limits with me. I love him so much but im not going to be pushed away for being a caring person (sorry am very angry at his awful attitude toward me..someone he says he loves. So right now, I dont know about his meds..he said the difference in his demeanour yesterday to today is the depression not the meds...so for a while..he will have to concentrate on him whilst I concentrate on me
    • UK-Rose
      UK-Rose Lainey69

      Posted

      Oh Lainey...

      So sorry to hear you seem to be catching the brunt of all this. I think anyone reading this can see all your trying to do is help and be supportive, and its obviously clear how much love you have for him. 

      Hopefully his doctors appointment won’t be a wasted journey and he can be issued with the right additional medication / advice on how to get himself back on a better footing health wise and this process will be short lived. 

      You’ve tried your best, and thats all you really can do...?? Its a difficult process but try not to be too hard on yourself... you have to be strong for you and your own emotional well-being. 

      Keep your Chin up Lainey

      (Hugs) 🌹 

       

       

  • UK-Rose
    UK-Rose Lainey69

    Posted

    Hello Lainey,

    Just wondering how your doing, I hope you staying strong... 🌹

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