My partner thinks I have autism/aspergers, so did the GP, but they haven't taken it further. Help?

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Uh hi. Right, so as soon as I met my partner, she knew something was different about me. She hadn't noticed before we met as we spoke on Facebook chat and I can apparently type so much differently to how I speak. Moving on...

She was talking to one of her friends who was diagnosed with Autism last year about my behaviour and he suggested that it could be autism like he has. She made a list of the things that relate to some symptoms. Here are the things she noticed that I do:

   -Little to no eye contact when in conversation, but often stares without realising.

   -Not really one to be touched or close to people.

   -Too close when speaking (unaware of personal space).

   -Difficulty understanding jokes/sarcasm/rules of conversation

   -Makes inappropriate observations

   -Unaware when being rude

   -Great at remembering birthdays, gets annoyed when others don't

   -Difficulty in small talk or keeping conversation going

   -Difficulty making and keeping friends

   -Difficulty understanding other's feelings

   -Has friends but not of own age - has older friends (in 60s to 80s)

   -Talks obsessively about one or two topics of interest, not bothered about any other subject, can't shut her up once she's talking about the subject, keeps repeating things she's told me over and over again.

   -Sometimes annoys the hell out of me and doesn't understand how or why.

   -Has issues with balance, sometimes motor movement of mouth - slurs.

   -Often flails arms, clicks fingers, shuffles feet for comfort in bed

   -Finds more comfort in objects or animals than in people. Still has comfort blanket and must have teddies aligned in the same position on her bed every night.

   -Has texture issues - doesn't like to touch or eat anything with a certain texture. Is also quite sensitive to sunlight.

   - Definite difficulty in imagination, thinking up ideas, empathising etc.

   -Monotone when speaking.

SO with all this thrown at me I did the dreaded thing that nobody should ever do: Online tests. All of the scores were over 40. It says the average is under 36 I think? So I went to my doctor and she also agreed that I may have it, and that as she didn't know much about it she would refer me to a local group for autistic people. It's been about 3 months since and I haven't heard anything. 

Should I carry on waiting, take further action or just ignore it completely? 

I didn't want to go in the first place. Do any of you agree with my partner and friend or is it just in their heads? What do you people think?

I'm 18, almost 19, and female.

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Go back to the go and ask to be assessed by a psychiatrist/ to be tested for asperger/autism type traits if they in turn pick up on this i  think they refer you to be tested by a pyschologist, be forward with your gp, this is what you want, Good luck, Nick.
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    • Posted

      I will definitely go back. May have to go better prepared with lists this time. Thank you for your response.
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  • Posted

    Absolutely. Return to your GP and ask to be referred to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis. Good luck.x
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  • Posted

    Hi Sam

    As the others said, you should go back to your GP and ask again for referral for formal diagnosis, or at least chase them up a bit. It's more than just for the knowing. They will have the relevant information for any support and/or services in your area that can be a big help. Depending on your area though there can be a bit of a wait. I'm lucky, I'm in Belfast and Northern Ireland has among the best resources for ASD in the UK.

    Some of those online tests, aka AQ tests are actually reasonably accurate. They're not intended as a diagnostic tool but they are a good indicator to take it further. At the start of the year there I was forced to take a long look at myself and ended up on an AQ test. I scored in low 40's. My nephew was diagnosed to be on the Autistic Spectrum at quite a young age and some of the traits we've seen in him as he's getting older had a familiarity to them too. I'm 34 now btw and I had thought I was just a weirdo. Knowing now though puts me in a better position to adapt and cope with whatever the world throws at me and I know I'm not weird at all.

    As for if I agree with your partner and friend, tbh it's going to be someone coming in from the outside who didn't know you as you grew up that notices these things or traits. That's why for example my mother never noticed it with me but she was the one that first noticed it in my nephew. Given that your partner and friend believed it to be worth mentioning in the first place, the result you got in the online AQ test, and what your GP said when you talked to her about it I'd say no, it's not just in their heads.

    I hope you get the answers you want. If you want to talk to someone about ASD there's your partners friend, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Your more than welcome to PM me on here too if you want. I'm certainly not a professional on the subject or anything but I do totally get how mind blowing it is to find something like this out about yourself.

    Take care

    D

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    • Posted

      Thanks very much. My mum and dad haven't said anything, but tbh my mum shows a lot of traits herself now that I've had a look into it. 

      I'll definitely go back. I don't think we have a lot of services here as there have been a few families who have set up charities and support groups to do with Autism. One family even have my last name with no relation. Hmm. Maybe it would be wise to message one of those too. I just find it hard to speak to people. Going to the GP in the first place took all of my energy to do, so going back would drain me completely.. especially with them knowing that I've been already. 

      As I said though, I shall try again. Thank you for your advice and offer to talk. 

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  • Posted

    I would say at this point to simply love the person that you are. We have a five year old little girl who has severe Autism. I would be thrilled if I read this from her one day. You seem smart and functional. I know we just put my daughter on medication for a short time with disastrous results. You are perfect just the way you are. 
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  • Posted

    Hi sam, I am going through the process for diagnosis of autism with my 5 yr old son, and have concerns over my 11 yr old son and my 4 yr old daughter. I also have many of the aspergers traits and have found for myself I am not bothered about a diagnosis as I have found waysbof coping with my quirks. For my 5 yr old it has been a very long road from him being 18 months old. And diagnosis takes a long time especially waiting for appts and referrals. Much of the time we have had appts cancelled and rebooked due to the high demand of the doc and specialists in this field.

    My biggest piece of advice I could give is dont do anything you arent confortable with. If u think there is a possibility of u being on the autistic spectrum there is a lot of support and advice u can access online. With many coping mechanisms, and learningbits ok to have quirks and kike to do things differently. As long as it isnt stopping you from living ur life how u want to then feel free to tell people that ur happy as u are. However if u are concerned or feel u wiuld benefit from a diagnosis or therapy, for example my son has had maybe therapies to help hin with textures and food and now he's finally eating a balanced diet, then chase up your referral. Phone or contact your doc and see where u are in the process. Its amazing how much it helps when u bug them lol.

    helen x

    p.s. pls forgive my spelling etc I also am dyslexic

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