My prozac journey

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I've been having anxiety attacks since my childhood. Im now 20 but ever since i knew myself, i've been struggling with overthinking, throwing up and anxiety over everything. My family never really believed in mental illnesses for some reason so i tried to solve it myself. but it has come to a point that its affecting my health (bc of losing weight) . i dont wanna be nervous over everything in my life. .

So i decided to start on medication. Im hoping that it will solve some things. I've been reading many negative results people get and those are scaring me. we will see i guess.

Day 1: after days of losing weight and throwing up because of my overthinking sessions, I started on prozac. I'm also getting treatment for my stomach issues so prozac could really mess up with it. I hope that it won't.

Day 2: as a person with eating disorders, prozac did not mess up with my stomach at all. I got morning anxiety and threw up but thats not unusal. I was able to eat so im not having any side effects for now. Im still overthinking.

Day:3 I woke up earlier than usual and couldnt get back to sleep because of nausea. Threw up again, day 2 was better. Im starting to have side effects i guess.my anxiety is still bad. especially mornings.

Day 4: I woke up earlier than usual again. but did not throw up, and could get back to sleep and somehow slept till 12pm. Not bad. I'm having bad/anxiety related dreams since day 1 but i've been having them before taking pills so its not a side effect i guess. I can sleep but i can't have a good sleep. Im overthinking in my sleep..

Day 5: Woke up at 5a.m with strange feelings. I felt like i hated everyone in my life. This strange feeling scared me and made me feel sick. It was an anxiety attack i guess. I overthinked through day and typed a long paragraph to my bestfriend about how i feel like shes doesn't care about me. I did not send it of course because im just overthinking. But i can't stop it. I'm afraid of losing my friends. nausea keeps going but i did not threw up.

Day 6: im feeling so nervous. Couldn't eat anything till 3pm. Im getting morning anxiety every single day but today was worse. I cried today and thought of calling my bestfriend but didn't. Im scared of losing her because im always sad and im spreading negative energy. I don't want to make people sad because of my never ending problems.

Day 7: Its been 1 week, wow. I actually had a good sleep. I had thoughts but didnt overthink. And anxiety dreams did not happen. morning nausea is still happening, I think its because im taking the pills at 10:30pm and it shows effects in the morning. It is a good thing that im at home and having online classes. Id recommend starting on this med while you're at home. Also Nausea didnt last long this time and im not nervous at all. Maybe its just placebo.

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    day 8:Had a great sleep today but I was feeling nauseous for the first 30 mins. I thought i was doing fine until evening when i had an anxiety attack and cried. Weird thing is, i usually don't get up and motivate myself after having an anxiety attack but this time i was able to think clearly and motivate myself on solving the problem. And i made myself calm down. I wasn't expecting that. Im still having overthinking issues.

    Day 9: I woke up from bad dreams and anxiety. Im still overthinking and unable to stop it. Bad things are just coming into my mind and its impossible to stop them. The great thing is, nausea is gone for now. I have great appetite and can eat properly. First week was wayy much worse. Im glad that the nausea is over now. i can't say that im anxiety free, but its only day 9 so, i'll give it more time.

    Day 10: I didn't have any bad dreams today! woke up with slight nausea but ended quickly. I think the side effects are gone. First week was harder. Something that i normally would be so stressed about happened today and i only got angry. If it was 1 week ago i would probably cry. did the prozac start helping? Im not sure because i still have those thoughts and im depressed. Its just that i did not break down and cry today. This is a good sign i guess.

    Day 11: I had weird dreams today but it was okay. They werent anxiety related and i kinda enjoyed it 😄 . for the first 8 days i had awful dreams, having normal weird dreams makes me happy. I dont know if my emotions are more stable now. I really did not notice anything. Im going to give it more time to notice changes.

    Day 12: I woke up with slight nausea again. Didn't have any bad dreams. But i feel down and kinda hopeless. I feel like i should be outside with my friends and having fun but im always postponing events. I wanna hangout with them but theres something that holds me down. Im not happy at all. Idk why im doing this. Maybe being with friends will make me feel better but i prefer staying in my bed. I feel bad for this.

    day 13: woke up with slight nausea again. It ends so quickly at this point and doesnt affect my appetite. Note that im also using proton pump inhibitor for nausea. That helps me a lot when i take it in the morning. I dont feel down today. Last night i focused on my worries and realized how im making little things big deals. focusing on the problem and not overthinking made me feel good and i didnt have any bad dreams. Im afraid that My anxiety might kick in anytime. I hope that im beating it.

    Day 14: 2nd week! I slept well and didn't have nausea at all. I didn't notice any changes yet. But its way much better than the first week. now that the side effects are gone, im waiting for any changes in my mood but nothing new yet. I still don't wanna be outside and get nervous when im asked out 😦

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