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My PTSD boyfriend has been stressing and depressing me for weeks, what should I do?

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RavenK
RavenK

Hello everyone. I've in a relationship on and off with a retired marine since August of last year. but we've been friends for almost a year and half. When we met, he wasn't shy about the PTSD. I asked him if he suffered from it, he told me yes. Though he didn't go into detail, I knew the basics of PTSD. It wasn't until i stumbled across this website that i knew of the emotional strains that come with it. He's put me through the ringer. Constantly breaking up with me for irrational reasons, the need for perfectionism and control, because I work two jobs and don't always have time to talk to him. one thing ive noticed that i didnt think was associated with PTSD, is he hates if i dont reply back to him right or at all. What seems to trigger him is feeling like he is being neglected or ignored, so much that i thought he was suffering with BPD. Is this normal with PTSD?

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • RavenK
    RavenK

    Posted

    Our most recent "break up" was caused by me not Facetiming him one day on my lunch break at work. Because i was having a conversation with someone else, something else it seems like he hates; anyone other than him occupying my time. By the time i had gotten home he had decided to break up with me because he felt he was putting expectations on my that i wasnt meeting. i.e., he was expecting me to call him without a doubt on my lunch break. But he proceeds to make up other reasons why he wants to break up like because i wont find a new job, to hide the real reason. Then within a few hours of him breaking up with me, he's calling me and talking as if nothing ever happened. So I'm left hurting over a sudden break up and he gives me to time to heal from it. And if I chose not to answer my phone and treat him the same as he does me, it's a problem.

  • sam18386
    sam18386 RavenK

    Posted

    hi raven, tough one! PTSD is tough for the sufferer and the person supporting them to live with more. i am a sufferer of ptsd and i know the person who supports you needs to be extremely strong and have very thick skin to cope with them as people. you can try taking some time for yourself and see what he thinks to that. try ignoring his phonecalls and not ringing me for a few days, see what he then does. take time for you is what i am saying, it will also be interested to find out what he was like before he was PTSD diagnosed, then you'll know the true person you are dealing with.

    • RavenK
      RavenK sam18386

      Posted

      Firstly, thank you for replying. This site has been so helpful for me in seeing that I'm not alone. I truly felt like I was going crazy, trying to reason with him. Its sad to see someone going through these things, and it hurts me even more to see him acting like this and know it isnt him. I have gone a day at least not responding to his calls, and just telling him to have a good day, to let him know that I care. He ended up popping up at my apartment to come hug and kiss me, and to tell me that he loves me. When i try to give him the space he needs, its like he feels like I'm the one pulling away from him. But as soon as I try go back to being warm and open with him, he closes back and up becomes distant. And if i bring up our relationship and what it is at the moment, he locks up and its like talking to a wall.

  • Omah
    Omah RavenK

    Posted

    You know, I am seeing this now... I didn't even know there was a thing like PTSD... My boyfriend started acting up, little things began to irritate him, little things made him angry too... I didn't even know, I was already depressed cause I didn't know what was wrong with him. He knew he had PTSD and kept it away from me. Then made me look like a nag each time I complained about the things he did. He broke up with me several times for things that we could handled within a twinkle of an eye. He finally broke up with me. I just had to put myself together and understand that all the things he did wasn't his fault cause I now had to learn about PTSD.

    i decided to give him that space for at least one month and see if he will be able to put himself together. He loves me and believed that breaking up with me was a good way to save me from the stress.

    I did advise you to give him some time...

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