my sons OCD is out of control

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I am at breaking point as my 11 year old son has been diagnosed with OCD and is awaiting treatment.  The problem is that he is up so late at night carrying out his rituals that he isn't getting nearly enough sleep and he keeps me and my husband awake so we are all shattered and everyday he is late for school and I am late for work.  the more tired he gets the worse his anxiety gets so its a vicious circle.  Most nights now he is so tired he falls asleep half way through his rituals but I have to wait ages before I can turn the light out and put a cover on him becuase if he does wake up again he literally has a panic attack about all the things he hasn't done.  He go's to the toilet around 15 times a night before bed and we are going through one and half toilet rolls a day, he continually washes his hands and we get through one soap dispenser every 48 hours!  His hands are so sore they bleed onto his sheets at night but he wont' put any cream on them.  I can't bear to see him like this and am exhasted.  My husband is fed up and shouts a lot late in the evening when he is tired but can't get to sleep because lights are on, toilet keeps flushing, tap keeps running.  Our son is often distressed at crying so my husbands shouting only makes things worse and he angers me which in turn stops me from sleeping even when I can get to bed.  I really want to help him but dont' think I can cope with much more.

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  • Posted

    It's horrible. I have bipolar with BPD and when I go on my highs I literally can't stop... it's like I'm posessed. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do until treatment. I know it's hard for all of you but the most important thing to remember is that he didn't ask for this and it isn't him... it's a dreadful illness that one day you will hopefully be able to squash like a bug. Why is treatment taking so long? Is it because of his age?
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  • Posted

    Thank you for your reply.   I have read as much information as I can to try and help me understand what he is going through so I can be as sympathetic and understanding as possible.  The waiting list for treatment is very long in Kent (at least 6 months) but eventually we got an emergency appointment for him at CAMBHS a couple of weeks ago as things got unbearable and they agree he needs treatment as soon as possible but they work as a team and apparently had to meet to discuss his treatment options.  We go back again next Tuesday and hopefully things will get started. Thanks Again.
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    • Posted

      Hi Rachel I also have ocd and let me assure you ,you are not alone in this I also know people as well who suffer with the same thing I do what your son is doing Its called a ritual it is an act that he does repeatedly to makes his ocd and or anxiety down it can easily become and obsession to the point where it gets in the way of everyday life and the life of the family's and friends surrounding the person who suffers with this but I promise you its treatable and now I'm ritual free I have been for very very long try not to worry and stress and allow the healing and the therapy to start your son will be okay and get past this it does take some time and for him to realize he can do other things to help with his anxiety,depression ocd much more healthy things I know it's a struggle now but it will get better in time I pray for you and your son and husband keep your head up and know your in the right place to start your son's new journey of getting better
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  • Posted

    Thank you, knowing that others have been through this and have manged to make a recovery is very good to know.
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  • Posted

    Hi Rachel, I read your message and certain things came to mind.  I too have mental health problems, which brings along certain behaviours.  You said your son is only 11, can you think back to when you noticed his OCD?  I'm asking because my behaviours were initially sparked by an event in my life, and other things that upset me can make my behaviours worse.  Before all of this started, was there a major event that happened?  Did anybody become ill or pass away?  Did he start a new school?  Because part of treatment is knowing what triggered it.  Your husband needs to be more sympathetic to both your son and yourselves, because shouting at him will only make your son feel less worthy and make the OCD worse.  This was meant as food for thought, if it started following somebody who became ill for example, you could try to talk with your son, he might be thinking that somehow, whatever happened is his fault, or, that by making sure he carries out these rituals, he can prevent anything bad happening.  I really hope that your son gets help very soon and that 'normal' life can resume. 
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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your post.  my son had a mild episode of OCD when he was 8 (just putting everythig in order etc not the washing of hands or fear of germs) and that was directly after his grandad died of cancer which is almost certainly what triggered it.  This time we are not so sure what has triggered it.  my grandmother died at the beginning of the year and although James wasn't so close to her and didn't see her very often it may of triggered memories of loosing his Grandad.   I also think that he may be worrying about starting secondary school in September (He says he isn't but it is a big change) and of course he has just finished SAT exams so it may simply be a combination of things.   We went back to CAMHS yesterday and the lady we spoke to explained things a lot more and I think my husband has finally realised that this is an illness not just a behaviour issue.   We have an appointment with the lady that does the CBT on the 28th of June and in the meantime my son will see the Psychiatrist (they have asked for urgent appointment) so that she can assess him and decide if medication in necersary so things are at least getting done. In the meantime i have found that if my son gets upset int he evenigns when he is tired he gets along better if he go's off to do his rituals but comes to find me for a hug after each thing that he has to do (Takes a bit longer but at least he stays calm).   Thanks Again.
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