My story

This is my first post as a result of anxiety. Where to start? Well I have always suffered mild anxiety through early childhood and teens. But you think you grow out of it. I am now a 27 year old Sport science university student and Personal Trainer as my occupation and experience intense anxiety almost every day and it can last a while. Anxiety affects us all no matter what age, creed or background. With the slightest niggle in my chest (heart attack or other heart defect/disease to pressure or a hot/cold feeling on my head, cant focus, blurred vision, cant focus, impending doom, flashing lights (tumour/bleed/clot etc) which both make me think I'm going to die. Anxiety is something a lot worse than death because its the intense fear of death without the release. Sometimes I feel as if I cant control it. Theres a lot of sources of information on the internet (ted talks being one of them) between anxiety and spiritual awakening which I have been listening to lately, reading meditation books and eckart tolle etc). It just helps to know that there is a lot of people out there that suffer exactly the same symptoms as me. Its quite a relief to think we are all in this together. Its horrible thinking that theres no help out there and that im going to have this forever, even after death, i worry about what comes after death which all adds to the no escape feeling I get. I often take trips to the doctors thinking that they have missed something. Nothing. I too think about getting brain scans. But blood tests rule out a lot of things. I get this feeling as though I am disoriented and have little control over my body, as if I am going in slow motion and my body is taking longer to react to my commands. I have an intense fear of passing out. This of course induces even more intense panic. I think about taken medication but that isnt an option for me. My diet is very good with all essential vitamins and minerals accounted for. You think WHY, WHY ME? But its not all negative. Lots of books I read state that anxiety is a form of suffering which will better us in the long run. On the ted talks, theres talks about people all over the world who experience exactly what many of us experience on here, these people often feel very ill, dizzy, incredibly anxious and as a result with the right guidance from a shaman possess very unique abilities. So erm im considering going to visit one of these Shamans as silly as that may seem to me initially, I would do anything in this state. You are not alone is what I have come to realise. Spread your story on here and experiences and help others. Keep me updated on what new symptom or disease you have because Im sure youll find someone who exhibits the same symptoms on here.

Take Care

Tom

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