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After talking to a lovely lady on here called lisa she thought i should share my story and how i ended up where i am today.
?I was in a loveless relationship he wasnt horrible or nasty we just fell out of love and it was then i met my now husband. My ex was quite difficult in the split as he had met someone else so i moved in with now husbands parents an hour away from all my friends and family giving up my house and my dog and all of a sudden i was alone with just my husbands family i didnt think much of it at the time i was happy with my now husband and didnt really give anything a second thought my friends would ask me to go out but being a hour away and my now husband had gym and football i didnt drive so always said no and started to just rely on my phone for company.
?As time went on my now husands family became more hostile and rude they made rude comments about me had coversations about me i could hear and when we announced we were getting married the kick off was unbelievable his dad became depressed his brother who was the best man wouldnt talk to me his sister accused me of being a money grabber (all at the same time i had to live under their roof) it just became a way of life they would be mean and my now husband would never say anything or stand up for me just pretend he hadnt heard it and if i spoke to him just say they are my parents or hes my brother.
?Anyway the wedding came and went his family were there his mum made a lovely speech about me being part of the family his whole family came and pretended they were this big supportive family not that they had put me through hell for the last year (i could tell you everything but it would go on and on)
?On out honeymoon my husband decided to facetime his mum the anger that went through me i thought i dont want that women anywhere near me like something had snapped i went mad i started crying shouting at him that he never did enough he never stuck up for me he let all this happen really going mad!
?They were there to greet us at the airport not asking if we had a nice time hardly talking to me at all going on about what they had been doing i couldnt wait to get out and see my family it was my nieces birthday we went out for dinner the food was terrible my niece cried my mum was drunk (different issue lol) i remeber going home that night feeling so sorry for my niece her birthday ruined.
?We went to view a new house the next day and i remember standing outside thinking why isnt this making me happy and then i spiralled i was waking up everyday feeling sick and bloated i had gone off food all together just wanted to lay in bed and sleep upon waking one morning i though im sick of feeling ill all the time so i phoned the dr in i went and i told him how i was feeling and that i had cancer and he said to me you have a anxiety disorder and depression and i left with sertraline 50mg. I remeber thinking to myself what a stupid man im not anxious so giving it a few days and a crying breakdown at work that i was bloated and had back pain deffo cancer i went to hospital after explaining my symptoms they did a full stomach exam and checked my urine all clear i remember thinking how are these drs so stupid why arent they helping me a few days later back in a&e full stomach exam full bloods done nothing wrong ibs maybe well no i wasnt having it back to my own gp i went why is noone listening to me?? He asked if i was in pain anywhere i explained no i wasnt and he asked if my symptoms had changed in anyway no they hadnt got better got worse no and no he then said well i dont need to see you again i know you are uncomfortable i know you are bloated i cryed all the way home thats it doomed noone will help me just left to die phoned 111 saying i had caught some sort of parasite in mexico causing my symptoms another 2 doctors nope anxiety.
?How is it anxiety i take my magic pill every morning i didnt feel anxious in the first place so cant notice any improvement there im less up tense and not angry as much. Its hitting me after a chat with that lovely lady that i have put all the focus on my tummy rather than dealing with the real issues in my life i have sat on my bum for 5 weeks googling symptom after symptom i still wake up in the morning and feel sick i still feel bloated all day every day but could it be those stupid drs were right? I actually really like my dr he said he is not a enabler and will not give me scan to put my mind at rest is it that so many of us spend way too much time looking for the wrong answers we spend years demanding tests and peace of mind when if we had dealt with the root of it all the physical symptoms would eventually (years even) go away on their own? I talk like i believe this and maybe 10% of me does but we all know i will be googling symptoms in 10 minutes lol.
?Im not looking for replys i just wanted to vent and you lot on here are lovely thats my story and i know other people have much worse if anyone wants to chat im always about and a walking dr google specialist xx
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