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My success story on 20mg Citalopram

Posted , 7 users are following.

david40845
david40845

Hi everyone. This site has been such a help for me on my second time on Citalopram. Had it not been for so many of the great insights and stories provided here, my journey would have been much more tumultuous.

So I wanted to tell you my story and give some other people struggling some hope. Hope that you can get better, that you will get better.

I went back on Citalopram after experiencing similar anxiety symptoms to the first time. It's all a long story, but it was kinda a sleep deprivation, parenting anxiety with 2nd child on the way and previous anxiety and depression PTSD thing.

10mg had worked last time, but after 10 weeks and not feeling any improvement, I went up to 20mg. It was harder the second time around, having been on it previously I had on top of just those frustrating, illogical anxious thoughts about just about everything (seriously, I was even getting mildly anxious over what spread to put onto my kid's sandwich for his daycare lunch) also anxiety of why I wasn't responding like I did the first time. Was it working, had I done the right thing, around and around it went. And just like last time, there were days in the early weeks where suicide felt like the only way to make it end.

It has taken me 6 and 1/2 months to be where I am now. For about a month I've been back to my normal self. I'm able to sit still and relax, I'm not having anxious thoughts about anything and everything, and I'm no longer going around in agonising, anxious circles about my recovery. In that 6 and a bit months, I think I've experienced every possible setback. So here's what I found during my recovery:

  • Exercise is critical - I did 30 mins jogging twice a week at least - it made a huge difference to my recovery and my lack of it while on 10mg was maybe why that dose didn't work this time
  • Don't do this without a Psychologist - I didn't click this time with traditional CBT, instead I was lucky to find an experienced psychologist in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and tapping and hypnosis - for me that was some truly powerful stuff
  • If you're exercising and start to see little glimpses of improvement in the first 8 weeks then stick with that dose and stick with it for at least 4, probably 6 months
  • It seems a lot of people on here took about 6 months to fully recover, I did too
  • Take your meds within an hour of the same time each day - being regularly inconsistent with the time you take your dose will reduce Citalopram's effectiveness
  • Do your best to not dwell on things like Are these meds working? Am I feeling better yet?
  • Missing one dose or accidentally double dosing once seemed to be ok
  • Missing more than one dose will set you back at least a week
  • Don't leave your meds all day, even if they're in a bag, in a hot car - it absolutely kills their potency and I found out the hard way after a week on what were effectively dead tablets - withdrawal symptoms big time
  • The early weeks are hard, increased anxiety and worry, on and off depression, fatigue - if you can, take the first 3 weeks or so off from work and have a plan in mind to keep yourself somewhat busy each day - building Lego, doing odd jobs around the house, video games helped me
  • Blips will happen - I got them throughout the 5 and 1/2 months, you'll feel like you're regressing and the meds aren't working - but the blips don't hit as hard each time and they get shorter, I found some comfort in feeling and knowing that each blip
  • Insomnia was a problem for me, but I found just doing what I normally did before going to bed before I was all anxious worked better than all the sleep tricks and techniques I'd mucked about with - it was almost like those techniques were priming my anxiety over sleeping - what I used to do worked so I went back to that
  • As a male I'm naturally inclined never to share my feelings and struggles with anyone (it's just how we've evolved unfortunately) - don't do that - have at least one person you can talk with about this piece of evil that is anxiety and depression

I really, truly hope some of what I've said helps and provides some inspiration to those of you at various stages of recovery. It's great to finally be back to me, and back to being able to enjoy life with my wife and two kids. Especially the kids. I'm that dad that's hopping on the water park slides with his kids and goofing off just as much as them. Anxiety took that from me, and I'm so glad to have that back.

Ask me questions, I'd love to talk.

Dave

5 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • harry09460
    harry09460 david40845

    Edited

    great post Dave. Im at 5 months on citalopram and would class myself as recovered. Or very close to at least! Its a tough journey but everyone seems to

    get their in the end

  • jadelou93
    jadelou93 david40845

    Edited

    Hi Dave,

    It is so nice to see that you have recovered.

    I am 4 and a half months in myself, i have seen a big improvement but i still have days where i know my anxiety is there niggling away at the back of my mind, i have Psychiatry every 2 weeks which has helped me so much, at first i wasn't too sure but it has honestly helped. O do have blips, as does most people, but i don't think they're as bad as they was say a month ago, i am currently seeing a lot of positive days and handle my anxiety so much better, but i do still struggle, do you think that still has time to settle?

    • david40845
      david40845 jadelou93

      Edited

      I'd definitely say there's more time for it to settle.

      It sounds like you've made huge strides in recovery already, so stick with it for another 2 months at least.

      I was in the same place as you at 4 months, had improved a lot since starting the meds, and I'd started having whole days, sometimes 3 to 4 in a row, of feeling almost totally back to normal. I'd get some short little anxiety pangs on those days, but I wasn't stuck focusing on my anxiety or symptoms.

      And then I'd blip for 2 to 7 days, the anxiety would worsen during the day, not so bad later in the afternoon and evenings. And the anxiety during those blips was never as bad as at the start. Those blips were hard, I'd always start questioning my recovery, the meds, the dose, all that.

      I did find a daily mood diary useful, the Calm app has a mood check-in that I'd set to remind me each afternoon. Was nice to see I had been improving on those blip days.

      You'll get there too Jade, the struggle gets less and less, then suddenly, it's just not there.

    • jadelou93
      jadelou93 david40845

      Posted

      Thank you so much for replying.

      Yeah it seems i may be at the start of a little blip, questioning if i am getting better or if i just think i am, but i still try to remain positive. I think its more that i still have those daily thoughts of "am i really getting better?" my Dr keeps mentioning of possibly upping me to 30mg but then i get worried of side effects and back out, as i had terrible side effects when i started. This is also my first time on Citalopram so it is completely new to me.

      I will keep going and see how i go in a few months 😊

      Thanks again!

  • rob37052
    rob37052 david40845

    Posted

    Hi dave

    great post mate, its so good to read success storys.

    Me myself am on citalopram for 2 nd time, worked a treat last time, was on it for 4 years, decided to come off and crashed big time!

    So ive been taking 10 mg for 12 months now and still getting the anxiety & churning stomach, depersonalization & derealization, i dont think im depressed, im an upbeat chap but this whole 2 nd time around on med is really bugging me...........shall i increase to 15 mg?

    Any advice would be most appreciated

    thanks rob

    • david40845
      david40845 rob37052

      Posted

      Are you exercising as well?

      I'd say if you've been doing all the right things and 12 months later you've not completely improved, then it would be a good idea to increase your dose. Chat with your GP about it, and I'd even consider going up to 20mg.

      Just bear in mind that it'll be like starting all over again, not quite as bad. If you start to improve slowly on the new dose then give it 6 months.

  • rob37052
    rob37052 david40845

    Edited

    Hi david

    I think its been 13 months......... thats got to be long enough i would think dont you?

    I think think im gunna split a 10 mg & take 15 mg as of tomorrow, i carnt feel any worse....... I hope,the brain fog is horrendous, feel like im in a dream like state........

    thanks for reply mate

    • david40845
      david40845 rob37052

      Posted

      Yeah 13 months is definitely long enough. I'd still go to 20mg, just because that's a more therapeutic dose than 10 or 15mg.

      Or are you thinking 15mg because you're a bit sensitive to the meds?

    • rob37052
      rob37052 david40845

      Posted

      Not really, just want to take as little as poss but ive felt awful last few day so this morning i took 15 mg, im doing everything else, cut out caffeine,sugar, alcohol & rec drugs and eating well & trying to get good sleep.

      Ive broken my collar bone in a motorbike accident so repairing so obviously cannot excercise at minute. About 5 days ago my ear started ringing, im doing my best to relax, the tinnitus is hard to deal with! thanks for getting back dave

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