My symptoms, I feel that I am dying or loosing my sanity!

Posted , 9 users are following.

I have posted here a few times over the last couple of years with a couple of symptoms hoping that ladies would jump in and say, "Oh yeah, I have that too". I didn't get many responses but the ones I did get were amazingly kind and supportive. I am posting again because I have recently developed new symptoms and I am both terrified and sincerely concerned for my sanity and my life.

I am turning 47 next month and I had a partial hysterectomy when I was in my mid 30's keeping my ovaries. I had terrible sickness through my entire one pregnancy being hospitalized on multiple occasions with nausea and vomiting. I have always had terrible PMS and migraines with all of my periods up until my hysterectomy and then the migraines allowed me to track my period afterwards as they continued. When the migraines got almost constant, I got on medication to stop them and have not been able to track period since then. Im sharing my history in hopes that it may look familiar to others. My mother was post menopausal at 50 but she said she felt great other than a few hot flashes. This worries me even more because THAT'S NOT ME! Over the last two years I have developed all of the following symptoms and have been doctor tested for every one with no findings including hormones being in the "normal" range.

blurred vision

migraines

sleep problems

constant post nasal drainage

dizzy spells

tinnitus

joint, gut and muscle pain

fatigue to the point of not even showering

feeling like the world is muzzy or how things look in a dream (how you feel with a bad fever)

feeling disconnected like nothing is important not even family

difficult word recall and reading retention

hair falling out like mad (have lost 2/3 rds of my hair volume in two years)

nausea and no appetite

slow digestion

IBS symptoms

dry flaking skin on my face even with tons of moisturizer

itchy scalp (i want to scratch it with a metal comb)

tender, aching, painful, itchy breasts (cyclic)

felling like having the flu but not being sick

gallbladder pain even though I had it removed a few years ago

and the new ones that started this week are weeping spells, flooring depression and anxiety and panic out of nowhere for no definable reason!

My brain is sounding all the alarms saying "YOU'RE DYING!!!, SOMETHING IS TERRIBLE WRONG!!!"

My mind is running wild all on its own like I'm sitting back watching it go mad and I see it happening and I know, at least I think I know that that's not me! Like I'm watching someone else. Im badly struggling with the depression and weeping feeling like I want to end it all which is nuts because I have always been a happy adventurous person. Now Im in the house in pajamas laying on the couch under a blanket or in bed all day for days now not feeling well with the nausea and depression and anxiety and panic. Good grief!

I hope that there are ladies here that can share their experiences with me so that I can see that Im not alone and this will pass with time as well as that my list of symptoms can be helpful to others as well.

I have read this forum for the last four days straight through. I have lost hope in seeing the other side given all the women who say it never ends or that they have tried to give up HRT but couldn't. Is there no hope or end to this? Or do women eventually feel better and stop coming here to post? Im not feeling very optimistic about seeing the other side.

Please help if you can.

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Lorin

    The list you provided of symptoms can all be associated with perimenopause or hormone decline, if you have your ovaries then you will experience peri some way or another. I have most of the above but I have taken few steps. I take herbal supplements daily, i also take Prozac (so no hot flashes, IBS, anxiety, depression) i do yoga & pilates so have managed to ease joint aches and changed my diet, no sugar or high sugar foods, no processed food everything made from scratch. 12 months on I am managing peri and can at least lead a relatively 'normal' life.

    Try not to be too anxious this will make things worse.

    Take care

    • Posted

      Woo3353, Thank you so much for responding to my post. I have also been trying a ton of herbal supplements as well and have found some relief with some of the symptoms. Im still experimenting with them though trying to find the right ones for the issues that bother me most.

      Unfortunately i have already been tried on most of the AD and I cannot tolerate any of them well due to side effects. I am undergoing rTMS therapy now for the depression because it scares me more than the treatment does right now. I have never been a sad person and being very religious I have never believed ending it was a valid option. As of late my mind wonders to that option all on its own and that is not ok.

      I am also super hesitant to ask for HRT because I have a blood clotting gene that causes an increased risk for DVT. I strongly suspect they will tell me I am not a candidate for HRT because of that since I was never allowed to take BC pills.

      Im so grateful that you took the time to post . Thank you

      Lorin

      I have been given a benzodiazapien for the anxiety but it is not the most worrisome of my symptoms and I only take it when everything has gotten to be way to much just for a break from some of it.

  • Posted

    I too was extremely ill. All blood work and mri's normal, had my gallbladder out. Finally had a test for EBV and found I had a reactivated case. Now on antivirals and hoping I will get well again. Perimeno and drop in hormones causes your immune system to lower and allows old things to resurface, like viruses. I really don't believe that all those horrible symptoms go only along with perimeno. I know exactly how you feel, I've had the year from hell and could name about 100 symptoms I've experienced.  I too have felt like I was dying. I'm sorry you are going through this as well. 

    • Posted

      Hi Suzanne54870, Thank you so much for posting back. What are the symptoms of EBV and how does one get exposed? I dont know if that would be something I should ask to be checked for or not since I dont know much about it. Could you share some information about it with me?

      Thank you so much for your post

      Lorin

    • Posted

      Around 95% of us have EBV, usually it presents as mono when we are younger, then it goes dormant in our body. At times of high stress, no sleep, drop in hormones, etc. this virus can reactivate and you can have an active case of EBV which can turn in to Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, and other things. ALL of the symptoms are what you are describing. I really think it's not just peri that causes all those severe symptoms, I really don't. HRT did nothing for me. If you do request an EBV test as for all three IgG (including the Early Antigen test) and IgM. If all three IgG's are positive and IgM is negative than you have an active case of EBV. 

  • Posted

    Hi Lorin, feel exactly the same and have almost all those symptoms for the last year. Don't want to take medication and I just try to get by day by day. Some days I cope some I really don't. Just fed up of not feeling like me anymore, 

    • Posted

      Hi Tina39899,

      I completely know how that is with some days you feel almost normal and then several others you cant understand why you feel like your going to die from something insidious. Its so unnerving and absolutely horrible.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to post back. Every single word of advice and encouragement is worth a million.

  • Posted

    Hi there sweetheart, I feel your pain, I've been going through this since late last year, pretty much all the symptoms you describe  on and off - it's so crap isn't it?? We just have to be strong and not give up hope - I'm seeing a hormone specialist next week and getting all my bloods done is find out exactly whats out of balance - even though I'm only 40 I'm 100% sure it's hormonal whether it's peri menopause or not I don't know, but Ive always had these 'spells' since my mid 20s along with having to have a laparoscopy a few years ago to remove 2 cysts and lots of endo, with the only exceptions being when she was preganant and breastfeeding, and they have got much worse in the past few years so it doesn't take a genius to work out it must be a hormonal imbalance but from reading on here blood work isn't the only way to identify what the problem is, you need to keep a record of when you feel worse in relation to your cycle as that will show which hormone could be low/ high etc, for me I suspect it might actually be progesterone that I need as I actually feel better before my period and also as I said when I was breastfeeding I felt great when oestrogen is low which is not the standard thinking as most doctors just instinctively hand out estrogen which is not always the solution, which is why I'm paying out to see a specialist because most doctors just have no idea, which is what I would recommend - you owe it To yourself!! And also get up and out every day even when you think you want to vomit and feel mega anxiety, can't eat etc  believe me I know how hard it is, but I just go for a run or a walk get the blood pumping and I always feel a bit better xxx

    • Posted

      Karen60759,

      Thank you so very much for you post it means a great deal to me to hear from you. I too have scheduled an appointment with a naturopath/FP that specializes in hormones. I go next week. I have started keeping a diary of symptoms so that I can start to see when they happen and peak and when I feel generally better so I can see if there is a pattern. I only started this a few days ago so I will need to keep at it for a few more months to see if there is a correlation. I also had some ablation of endo a few years back. I guess it was left over from my hysterectomy and they cut some scarring off that had adhered my bladder to my pelvic wall. That did take care of the pelvic pain I was having.

      Im sure that really had nothing to do with the way I feel now because a couple of years ago besides the hair falling out and the visual changes and menstrual migraines I felt pretty well.

      You are right in that I need to get out and walk or something and not just lay here and vegetate.

      Thank you so much for sharing with me, I am very grateful for your post.

  • Posted

    Hi Lorin

    I feel your pain my love peri and menopause are a nightmare for some of us - I have been exactly where you are now with many of the symptoms you list.  I am 51 and have had no period for 5 years but still have all of the symptoms of a monthly cycle 🙄 - the first 4 years I had none of the awful symptoms of peri/meno and thought I had sailed through with no problems - how wrong I was!! 

    A year ago I started to have panic attacks and palpitations, racing heart and the feelings of detachment that you describe - it is definitely the anxiety making you feel this way and definitely a hormone imbalance due to peri or menopause causing the anxiety so you will get better I promise  -  anyway I lasted for about 3 weeks with the really bad anxiety and then had to go to docs as I needed to get back to work (i was off for about 5 weeks in total).  I was prescribed sertraline (AD) and beta blockers to stop my heart racing and also HRT - I am now a year down the line and feeling so much better - I never get panic attacks any more I don't get hot sweats and I don't get palpitations any more - I know a lot of ladies don't want to go down the AD and HRT route  but I just wanted to let you hear my story so you can see that if things get too much for you please don't be afraid to

    go to your GP and explain all of your symptoms - I was against medication myself and never thought I would end up on both AD and HRT but it has enabled me to get my life back and so for that reason I will never regret taking them - and one other positive HRT protects me from osteoporosis which is great for me as my mum suffers quite badly from this bless her 

    Anyway sorry for the long post Lorin but I want you to know you are not alone - this forum has helped me so much - I know when you have anxiety it feels like you're the only one with it and that you  will never be back to your old self but you will I promise - there are lots of us who have been where you are now and please just remember its your hormones going crazy 😜 (not you) you'll get there my love but just don't be afraid to ask for help from you gp if you feel it's getting too much - I'm glad I did - I don't feel 💯 everyday - I still get occasional slight anxiety and bloating every 4 weeks but my life is my own again and I feel able to cope with whatever this horrible menopause has to throw at me

    Look after yourself Lorin - try camomile tea (I have cut out all caffeine) and plenty of rest but also try walking or light exercise on the days you feel up to it - hang on in there things will get better I promise xx

    • Posted

      Hi lesley,

      Your post hit home since it seems your experience is similar to mine. Im so very grateful that you took the time to post.

      As far as HRT I have a genetic factor that raises my risk for DVT and was never allowed the BC pills so Im assuming, maybe wrongly, that its not an option. I also cant take AD as I have tried several and I get sick from them. I have always thought of myself as a very strong person but lately it seems everything makes me sick. New allergies too that I never had before these last two years. I think I would be more settled with everything and would cope better if there were more ladies posting that they stuck it out, didn't go on HRT and finally made it to the other side. I don't even mind having to go through a few bad days a month if I knew that's all it would be in the end.

      Not many, just a couple, have posted that they made it to the other side and are doing ok now. Im not sure if that's because as they felt better they didn't visit to post any more or if it just never happens. Very frighting though though, that this might go on forever.

      I am heartened by the fact that you find that the symptoms seem to be transient even if replaced by others. That at least gives me hope that they will eventually go. Thank you so very much for posting, I cant say it enough.

  • Posted

    Yes Lorin, I have them all. In peri, 51 years old. The depression-like nothing is important and insomnia is the worst.I am considering HRT soon, I am not sure if this can help.

     

    • Posted

      anetta,

      Thank you for taking the time to post here. Every single answer is like a soothing balm to my fear and anxiety.

      Lorin

  • Posted

    All pretty common for peri and menopause. AS for your mum having no issues, mine was the same.. she sailed through it while i have been dropping to bits with every known symptom on the list and many more new ones.  If youve had blood works etc and all are good then rest easy, you may feel crazy and unhinged but trust me you are not. Its just the hormones doing weird stuff. My issued started 5 years ago with burning to skin chronic joint/muscle pain  and weird allergic reactions and crawling skin, also felt like i had constant UTI.  That settled after 18 months  and i had 2 years with minor to moderate symptoms but it didnt interfere with my life. Then last year the mental stuff kicked in, started with weird anxiety .. then came the tremor/shaking inside and out agitation, loow mood, crying spells.. vision issues.. blah blah... it never seemed to end. Also develop an allergic reaction to sugar rolleyes so couldnt even console myself with a sticky bun sad  Ended up living on soup and water  as couldnt eat meals anymore.   Then 6 weeks ago i stopped waking up shaking and with a  fast heart rate.. then the tremor settled down, then the agitation... and within a month i started to feel semi normal again. Im still a bit anxious and shaky and that does get worse around ovulation and period (even if i dont have one)   Maybe it wont stay this way .. but the fact that it has got better and im no longer at in my chair shaking has given me the hope that long term things will improve, so hang in there its not all doom and gloom there is hope. Ive not taken HRT or any type of hormones. 
    • Posted

      Hi littleme1969,

      It is so good to hear your story. I hate it that anyone would go through any of this but knowing that you did and in a similar fashion as I makes the thought of it a bit more bearable. You give me hope with the seemingly receding issues and symptoms. I am praying that I will come out the other side at some point as you are and things wont be this bad.

      I cannot take HRT because of a genetic issue that makes me at higher risk for DVT. Its because of this that I am desperately searching for people like you who did not take HRT and still found themselves feeling a good bit better on the far end without it. Im so very afraid that it will either get worse or even stay like this forever. I dont think I could manage if this is what there was from here on out.

      Thank you so very much for posting here. Your response has made a good much difference.

      Lorin

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.