My wife has an alcohol problem that is getting worse and will not seek help.

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She gets violent when she is drunk and forgetful of things.  This concerns me because we have a newborn.  Until yesterday, I never put a hand on her when she would become violent but I was holding our newborn who was in pain with an apparent stomach problem and she smashed a tissue box on the side of my face and began striking me with the box and was or may have struck my son.  I grabbed her hand with my free left hand but she only pulled it back and continued, then I open hand slapped her.  She started throwing baby items and we walked away into the bedroom.  She actually says that she doesn't remember this and only remembers that I struck her.  My 11 year old son saw this too.  She needs help before this get's worse.  I don't know how much worse but it's bad now.  I don't want her in trouble with police. Please, good advice?

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  • Posted

    Hi 

    I used to be prone to anger when I drank too, blackouts were common. 

    When there's children involved you have to take action as the damage can be irreparable to them later in life. (Speaking from experience). I suggest you get her a prescription for Baclofen and follow the prescribing information for it online to help her 

    become indifferent to alcohol.

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  • Posted

    Hi, i am a 52 year old woman who has been sober for nearly 5 years!

    Did your wife drink before new baby came along? Did she manage to stop drinking though pregnancy?

     First of all i would check that it's not postnatal depression! All you can do is try and talk to her, she must be unhappy or scared about something, that's why we drink, to block things out!

       I tried to give up myself but it was too difficult so i joined AA and it worked!

    all i would advise is try and talk to her, explain you are worried about her because you love her! Don't forget, she will be so ashamed of her drinking,try not to dictate say you want to help her and you will both work together! AA is great she will meet women that have been where she is now that will help her!

    Good luck! 

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  • Posted

    Try your GP first, if they are any good, usually the good ones are non judgemental and want to help with the immediate problem (i.e. alcohol addiction), then you can take the next step from there.

    I tried the happy clappy group therapy, let's all sing kumbaya my lord and stand up saying, my name is John Doe and I'm an alcoholic. I've never known what an alcoholic is defined as, I never had to open a beer first thing in the morning or have whisky on my conrflakes. If I had a long day, with a 9:00am appoitnment in Milford Haven, I would be up on time (4:00am), there on time, quick bacon sarnie and coffee somewhere on the way.

    But when I got home, it was a trip to the offie/supermarket, a few cans, park up at home and into the pub for a few jars, repeat every night of the week.Take the dog for a walk, start on the cans.

    Sometimes, the alcohol addiction cycle when broken is enough, for others the psycholgical barrier has to be broken. If you have a good GP, try them first, they don't have to put it on your record, or they can list it as an anti-depressant, it doesn't need to say alcohol addiction.

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  • Posted

    HI. This is deeply shocking and she has to stop immediately. Welsh Girl said it all below. Having experienced new borns and how fragile they are you should proably seek help and I wish you best of luck  
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  • Posted

    You can get the police involved without getting her into trouble.  I have had that done to me on 2 occassions.

    If you get the nerve to call the police...when the police come...tell them you do not want her "arrested" that she is very sick and needs to be taken to the local hospital for treatment of alcoholism and mental illness (which is creating anger).

    Both times family members did this to me...it was a real wake up call.  It made me VERY angry...but it also made me SEE what alcoholism was doing to me.

    She is having blackouts...which she could really hurt you or the baby and NOT know what she is doing. I know you know this....She could also be suffering from post partum depression from having the newborn and combined with alcohol...depression is very dangerous.

    Both times the police came for me...I was taken to a hospital to dry out....the hosptial offered me various options for "help".  I didn't take them. And she may not....but it is planting the "seed" in her head that her behavior while drinking is out of control and that YOU will not allow her to continue to hurt you and the child.

    The 11 year old as well is being affected (as you know)...its your job as a DAD to protect your young as she is not capable at this time...and the way to do that in my opinion is to put a "scare" into her...when the police come...and also telling the police she is "sick"....and she needs medical assistance vs. jail.

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