My wife of many years now depressed

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i was told last year that my wife of 17 years feels depressed. she told me the last 3 years she has not been happy with our marriage and does not love me anymore. she says we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. we have 3 children 7-17 and she said this is the only reason she is not leaving me. Although she tells me how much she hates the kids and cant wait not to deal with them anymore..Money is also a big issue, there always seems to not be enough and she cant get a call back about a job. We cant seem to talk about anything else but how she feels. No matter what i say or do she has negative comments or thoughts regarding it. Everytime we hang out by our selves she someone how starts talking negative and the rest of the time is a downhill spiral. I worked 40 hours a week, volunteer and pretty much cook all meals and deal with kids and house issues. I am getting really tired of hearing how bad our marriage, i was completely shocked to hear this as i thought everything was ok, and how much she wants to leave. Sometimes we dont talk for days as it always leads her to being negative and angry. I told her she needed to talk to a professional but she refused untill i got a marriage therapist for us as a couple but she mostly uses the time to vent about her life. I really feel most of our problems are based around her depression causing issues for us. How do i deal with all this and carry on with everything else the rest of the family needs? how or what can/should i do? Seems easier to just let her go before she hurts me more or to the point of no return.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    hi matt, oh dear what an awful situation! she clearly needs help. so do you, separately not with her. not being cruel bur when our marriage almost died after ivf had failed for us, we had to separately talk, having been raped twice i just couldn't take any more. i have almost taken my life over this, so i know how you feel. i don't constantly rant at my husband i try to not think about this. it's tough,let her vent AWAY from her so your voice is heard. do you have a break at work? if so try to get online counselling in that break. maybe your workplace may allow you to go see someone. i wish you luck, i have learnt something though - you MUST communicate!

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  • Posted

    It sounds like everything is going bad for her. I would guess the two of you are on your late 30's or early 40's. That is a time when cracks in a marriage occur. You have been married 17 years and you have a 17 year old child. Did you get married because you got her pregnant? If so that could be the root cause of the problem.

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  • Posted

    Hi , I was recently in a protracted depression, and found a way out of it, it is completely lethal, these are ordinary fly agarics, only dried up, since muscimol is formed from ebotenic acid only when the fly agarics are dried, and you can not consume a lot of them, 1 gram per day before dreams, and your depression flies into the pipe !!

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  • Posted

    wow, i feel terrible for you. does she really complain about hating the kids ? i did not know if i read that correctly. she needs to talk to someone and actually the both of you need to talk with a someone (thats not partial to either of you) i understand she is depressed - & believe me, i know how bad and down she can be and things can get for her- with that said, you are not her punching bag! she needs your help though to get her ass to a dr. so she can start to release her sadness and anger. i wish you all the best. this IS affecting your children, even if it does not appear so, they feel and grasp the darkness that she is bringing to your family. keep that in mind.

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