My wife's memory is failing, is there anything that can be done?

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My wife is only 68 in otherwise perfect health, more attractive than most 50-year-olds,  but she's losing her memory and I suspect it may be dementia coming on as both her parents died of different versions of dementia.

It began a couple of years or so ago. I noticed that in speaking normally she couldn't think of the name of a person or thing, using pronouns instead; she, he,  they, them or that green thing, those machines I wash with, that thing you chop with, etc.

Often she would speak for two minutes about someone and I had no idea who and I would get irritated, thinking she was just being lazy and say "Babe, who in hell are you talking about?" Finally I realized that she couldn't think quick enough for normal speach so I quit griping about it. Now she slows down, trying very hard to name a person, very hesitant and can't really carry on a conversation.

There's other things as well, last week she lost a bank withdrawal of $200. Just never found it. For 45 years she has made me a birthday cake, always German chocolate but yesterday her cake didn't turn out and she came to me confused that she couldn't follow the directions, which are more complicated than other cakes.  I had her make a simpler chocolate cake instead  and she was happy with that.

She knows she is failing, says everyone thinks she is stupid.  She was the primary caregiver for both of her parents so she has known for a long time what she may face.

I try to bring up a Dr's visit to see if there is any treatment available but she refuses, I know she is dreading the diagnosis. There were no treatments for her parents so she assumes nothing is available for her either. I'm sure. 

We're Texans and live near an excellent medical center so there is the best of care available. We have Medicare so the expense is not a factor.

I think I can get her in to a Doc for an annual complete physical as neither of us have had one for years. I'm going to get that done, come hell or high water. What should I ask the doc to emphasize in blood work? I understand that declining hormones may cause memory loss. What else should I ask a GP about in a physical?     

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  • Posted

    this is hard for her to no it runs in the family my family suffered with it im sorry my help may not be helpfull to you but i have also got like her myself on quite alot of what you have explained but dont recognise it like you do and no what she feels like but i told my husband i will go when it gets worse so i cannot see why she should be pushed at the moment as she is like me i have heard of these trials you are on about but you must stop and think if you love her you will do what she wants to do and not what you want or her to do or like myself or you will reget it  im sure you wouldnt want that to happenen its hard to face up to this illness without been pushed into it.

    i looked after my mother till the bitter end i no it was hard to see what she went through there were no clinicle trials then

    my husband shouts at me if i cant think properly to get what im trying to get out that makes me worse i will not accept im going the same way probbly if and when they are sure this trial works i might take that chance i do realise you want whats best for her as dose my hubby but i will not be pushed into facing anything yet 

    all have i would say stick by her for a bit longer till this is approved then if she is getting worse just have a word with the dr yourself this is what i have said to my

    hubby the more he trys to push i will resent him its not our faults i never want putting in an home ive told him this if he did i wouldnt want to see him again if you have a family let them help you as do mine i dont see myself been as bad as my family so i do understand her so long as we can communicate we are trying not to think of the way we saw our family go maybe if you or my hubby hadent a seen about this trial you probbly wouldnt a thought a bout it but i have seen it myself we are not stupid its waiting till we can pluck that courage up sorry my sympathy gose out to her

    i dont sometimes rememba one day from the next but rely on my hubby to tell me its you who is the irretating ones to us im not trying to be funny with you but dont forget this can happen to you as ive told my hubby. 

     im sorry but its not all about what you want to hear it us that dosent i have to side with her on this we no one day it will take over but let us be the judge when we are ready for it sorry i dont want you to feel im getting at you but i no exactly were she is coming from im not lying either we do not want to feel like guine pigs we do have our own feelings mabe she feels like me you take us for better or for worse  i will be intresed to see what other responces you get on this.

    tell her she is not alone

    keep me posted

    cheers. 

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  • Posted

    Ron, am wondering how your wife is doing? This sounds like my husband's problem....the Psychiatrist is suggesting FTD (Frontotemporal Dementia) Only thing is it could take years to turn up on an MRI. This is the frontal lobe part of your brain that controls speech and behaviour. Not saying that this is what your wife has. I believe this is what my husband has. Just something you could look into. Good luck!
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  • Posted

    Hi Ron, how are things with your wife?
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  • Posted

    Diagnosis Alzheimers, we've been to three neurologists who are as useless as tits on a boar hog. They've never refused to take a fee for "service" however. 

    We continue unabated with "The Long Goodbye".

    There is one hope: the work of Dr Dale Bredesen at UCLA. He will cure ALZ eventually but too late for anyone suffering already.    

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    • Posted

      i just saw a video on a doctor that cured her husband by using coconut oil. Not sure if it was dementia or Alzheimers but she reversed his memory issue. She's an M.D. Since we can't post names of doctors, look it up. Hope this helps.
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