Posted , 10 users are following.
Symptom loss of weight found at well man check up. Has had endoscopy, tumour is 7cm extending 2cm into stomach. Had ct scan yesterday mow awaiting consultant appointment. Very anxious. Does lack of any symptoms indicate early stage
1 like, 76 replies
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donna11913 lesley_78762
Posted
send my a Facebook friend request I'm under Donna Bond Thompson
tina_48881 lesley_78762
Posted
My husband 50 has been belching for a few weeks and last week got rushed into hospital feeling breathless, when talking to the doctor at hospital, my husband said his stools were black. This is the first I knew of this. He exercises every day and has the best healthy diet possible. He put his black stools down to eating broccoli everyday for lunch, he has been looking white and exausted. They took some bloods and then have him a transfusion as they said his HB was low. He was discharged 24 hours later. On Tuesday they asked him to go in for an endoscopy and CT scan. After the endoscopy they said he has a tumour that is bleeding in his oesophagus
we were then told not to goggle anything but to look on Macmillan website. What an earth is wrong with them. They had taken 8 biopsies but surely until they get the results shouldn't diagnose, we seem to be unintentionally upsetting each other when we are on our own. I'm so scared. It's the longest week ever. Just to think two weeks ago we were planning our trip to Thailand in March 2017. I'm scared for Tuesday, I'm scared of losing my husband, my best friend, my life 
How do I stay strong for both of us, I try but can't.
AlanJM tina_48881
Posted
This diagnosis is a shock to both of you, and it is traumatic, so you should not be surprised that things each of you say strike a wrong note with each other. You have to face this situation together, and gradually come to terms with everything that it might mean for you both.
?The full diagnosis will take a few days and the treatment that your husband will be offered will take a couple of weeks or so, because these are all nowadays discussed at a Multi Disciplinary Team meeting involving surgeons, oncologists and others. There will be an analysis based on TNM: The T tumour stage (1-4) according to how far it has penetrated; N for any lymph node involvement, these being the junctions through which the cancer spreads; and M for metastatic spread to other parts of the body. Until that is done you will, I am afarid, have to live with uncertainty. There is a mental process that you need to go through as well as a medical one. You may find yourself tip-toeing around each other's feelings and trying to shield each other from your own fears. It is a challenge to your relationship, but you ultimately have a choice as to whether you are going to try and face this together and to be honest with each other about your feelings, despite the emotions that come with all of this. It is natural to be scared about losing him - grief is the price of love after all.
?You will find sources of strength that you never realised existed, and perhaps unexpected disappointments in the reactions of friends and perhaps family. There will probably be a Maggie's centre or equivalent cancer centre that will have staff and counsellors who will be able to help you both come to terms with things. Macmillans do offer a telephone service to discuss things.
They are complex emotions about which one needs a bit of help from outside very often.
?Some aspects are straightforward, like the succession of appointments at hospital and so on. Other things are more complicated, like taking over some of the household duties / finances whilst he is ill and may not have the energy to do the same things as normal.
?Lastly, be careful about who you tell until you feel strong enough. Some reactions will be really positive and helpful; others might be less so because everyone will have to cope with the sudden traumatic shock and the words they use might not be as helpful as they would have wished.
tina_48881 AlanJM
Posted
Thankyou for your thoughts and words. We have had a good day today, family all round for lunch,
Thinking about how and when we will tell them, if we receive the news we are dreading.
My husband bless him, put on a brave face around our grandson who is only 3, Now they have all gone, is when it's so hard. We are in limbo. He brought me 12 red roses yesterday and that set me off. I have felt as tho I want to give up, end everything, I can't do this, I'm not strong enough for him or me.
AlanJM tina_48881
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You do not have to be superwoman, just good enough - to get through it all, and to face it together with him. You'll both have to learn as you go along and to help each other through.
Gangaman lesley_78762
Posted
I had a PEG fitted 4 weeks ago and that has taken the pressure off a little as swallowing had become impossible. On Carbo/ Taxol chemo 5 cycles in 5 weeks with 25 Daily Radiotherapy sessions at the same time so quite a tough regime. I am dealing with it quite well so far , no hair loss yet but lots of fatigue and all taste gone.
I am am being treated at The Churchill in Oxford and they are amazing in all aspects of my care. My message for all fellow travellers is to concentrate on what you can control and leave the rest up to your care team. One day at a time!
AlanJM Gangaman
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gec35789 lesley_78762
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Good day Leslie, I know you last had postings on this about a year ago but my husband has just been diagnosed with stage 4 oesophageal cancer and I am terrified. The doctors have been upright and honest saying that there is a poor prognosis for this give no the metastasis, it’s inoperable. It’s only been a week and a bit and we are waiting to see the oncologist on Monday to hear what the treatment plan will include. Another biops6 has to be done as the original one was inconclusive even though the scans showed clear metastasis in his abdominal lymph nodes, lungs and his sternum and the doctor claims it may be in his liver too. I wanted to know how your husband has held up all this time and how you are coping with this as I feel so disempowered, fragile and to top that angry as hell!😢😢
AlanJM gec35789
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It is a sort of grief for lost health and opportunities isn't it! It takes a time to get your head round things.
?There is a slight silver lining for the black cloud in that the treatment will tend to concentrate on maintaining the best possible quality of life for however many weeks months or years your husband has left; for some who go through what can be distressing treatment that may be ultimately unsuccessful, there is an additional frustration that arises from dashed hopes. But I know that is no consolation at all for the situation you are in.
?It is time for talking about serious things that one sometimes never gets round to. You end up going through all this together, but you will find friends and sources of strength from unexpected places. Do not rush into telling people who are not close to you your news until you are strong enough to cope with their reactions. Some people will not know what to say, and are so worried about saying the wrong thing that they do not say anything at all, even the right thing; others may end up saying the wrong thing that will catch you unawares.
The excellent services of counsellors in places like Maggie's centres and other cancer support services are there for you as well as your husband; most people really appreciate the chance just to talk through what is happening with somebody outside the family who understand what is happening.
gec35789 AlanJM
Posted