Need a friend:(

Posted , 5 users are following.

hey i really need someone to talk to im really struggling atm. I contracted herpes on my genitals about 4 months ago. I had a really bad first outbreak was super painful then about a month or so later had another outbreak which was pretty bad i get quite bad ulcers inside my vagina. I got super emotional to the doctor and she put me on submissive therapy so 500mg vacylovir daily. Been taking that about a month and a week or two and im in another outbreak ive got painful ulcers inside my vagina. I See no end to this my mental health is awful im really struggling here. Im dating a guy which i currently live at the same house with and although we have seperate rooms always sleep next to each other so im going to have to make up excuses why i cant have sex with him atm. I have not told him i have herpes i cannot bare it. I am 20 years old and i am hearing jokes daily about herpes including him and his friends making jokes. I simply feel like giving up i cannot live like this being uncomfortable in a outbreak or constantly in fear of getting another outbreak. I dread the future of telling people as i believe nobody will ever love me having this disease. I feel utterly disgusting and every day regret the day i contracted it. I need help. I need a friend. I just need something to stop me from doing something stupid.

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    SARAH, you are in my prayers. You are the same person you were before and you have to treat yourself as such. GOD is a healing and loving God that put you here for reasons past me abd your knowledge. TAKE a step back and take care of yourself. you have to do whats best for you and your mental and physical health. YOUR life is far from over, dont quit life before it quits on you ❤

  • Posted

    Hi SARA! I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. I’m 28 years old and was first diagnosed when I was 23 so I’ve had herpes for 5 years now. I can honestly say that it gets so much better. It’s so overwhelming at first but once your body does what it’s been created to do, the outbreaks become much less frequent and manageable. The biggest thing you can do is boost your immune system. The reason the outbreaks are so bad is because you haven’t built up enough antibodies to fight the infection. High doses of vitamin C are an easy way to boost your system. Also, get lots of sunlight for vitamin D. When you are having outbreaks, try applying witch hazel topically. That helps so much with pain and irritation. I honestly only took the antivirals for the first month after being diagnosed and during the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. I just eat (relatively) healthy and manage stress instead. I have an outbreak once every few months now and they’re NOTHING like they were in the beginning. I get the ulcers in the same small area and it’s gone in 3 or 4 days. The outbreaks did get worse after I gave birth to my son but I had vaginal tearing and was getting zero sleep for like 6 months so 🤣

    Now to the emotional side of this battle: There is a lot of stigma around Herpes. It’s always been the punchline for jokes and always will be. Take a deep breath and decide now that you’re not going to let it bother you. People are not talking about YOU; this does NOT define you. It use to make me feel super awkward when people would make herpes jokes but now I just go with it. I mean 80% of people have HSV1 so they’re really talking about themselves. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    As far as dating goes, don’t make a big deal about it. Definitely disclose to people that you have it but don’t act like it’s the bubonic plague, it’s a skin disorder. When your immune system is working hard, you will have outbreaks very similar to acne but just in a more private location. For me, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it made me much more selective of the people I would date. The first person I told, I broke down in tears and terrified the poor guy so don’t do that 😂 We never had sex because I seriously think I scared him that badly. I dated another guy after him. I was a little more calm when telling him but he was still a little freaked out. We did end up having sex but we were very careful. Then when I told my would-be husband about it, it didn’t seem to bother him at all. So the best advice I can give you is to stay calm when disclosing. I really encourage you to tell a friend. I told my mom and my sister. It helps so much to have someone to talk to.

    I’m married with a 19 month old little boy. I only think about herpes when I’m having an outbreak. My husband has yet to contract it from me and we never use protection. My son was born vaginally and is 100% herpes free.

    Feel free to message me anytime.

    I’ll be praying for you and your journey ❤️

  • Posted

    god loves you sarahi will pray for you you will get throigh thisit is merely a skin condition cAUSED BY A virus that gets much better it is more the social stigma you willl be fine

  • Posted

    Hello Sarah,

    I completely understand you. I am 25. I got herpes in October 2018. I worry a lot! At the moment I'm curing my stomach, immune system is very weak. Herpes even doesn't disappear at all. Sometimes I feel so bad. Once I was so despaired, I realized I can't handle this by myself. So, I wrote to a woman(whose comment saw in one of posts). She said don't worry! Herpes is not fatal. She is married and has a daughter.

    I believe soon vaccine will be invented. And you know what help me - knowing I'm not alone. I wish you to stay strong.

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