need advice !

Posted , 4 users are following.

please no judgement..

me and my ex have been together since 2012.. broke up at the beginning of 2016.. and have been messing around  since.. i only had one sexual partner since him.  a while ago maybe in june he moved a girl in with him.. they arent together.. she is homeless and he feels sorry for her and her son..

i still have sex with him and ONLY HIM 

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  • Posted

    i have trich and this is the second time i caught it !

    i dont know how to tell him that i got it from him without looking like a lying whore who is sleeping around (even tho we arent together)

    the female that lives with him i KNOW she got it.. gave it to him and he gave it to me.. however i think she got the antibiotic and got rid of it.. i got rid of it the first time.. me and him ended up having sex unprotected and i recontracted..

    what do i do in this situation? what if he goes 

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    • Posted

      Fkrst of all may o say that must hurt!

      That he hasn over someone else into the home you used to share with him?

      Whether he is with her or not

      Secondly you sAy he got trich from her how you know they sleeping together?

      And if he is sleeping with her then why is it not ok for you to sleep with any one you want too?

      If he is sleeping with her Id just go in all guns blazing and say I have ??an STI ?an I know it has came from you as I haven't been with anyone else ,you both better get checked to him and her,

      Then that way U assuming he has been with her and blame him passing it to you,

      Xx

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    • Posted

      I want to do it like that .

      But what if she has already been treated? What if she already took her anti biotics for it and they just been having sex with condoms ?

      When she goes to get swabbed it will all come back clear and I will look like the one that infected him .

      I actually have my anti biotics waiting to get picked up .

      But I just feel like it's pointless

      & I have another follow up appointment to get swabbed .

      It's so much easier said then done .

      Hell I think that if I was having sex with other men it would've been easier to say it .

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    • Posted

      Then why don't you just go ??an look after your self take the antibiotics get rid of him and drop him out of your life for good don't need to have sex with him do you move on you ARNT together any way, or if you ????carnt live without the sex from him demand you always use condoms just say Id prefer as your sleeping with her (homeless girl) and we don't know where she has been for that reason I am protecting my self ?! Then you will stay clean ??an it will give him somethink to think about just get your self treated your stupid if you don't you do know stis can cause long term health issues when not treated don't you???

      You sound young you shouldn't be putting up with this U have your life ahead of you to have children with some one who genuinely cares about you x

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  • Posted

    Doesn't sound like you should be so concerned about what he'd think of you. Just tell him straight up. If you're so sure it's from him you should have no worries. He wasn't worried about you when he was having sex with you and the homeless girl who he moved into his home without considering how'd you feel, even though you aren't together you're still being intimate and I think he should care about your feelings. I recommend you stop having sex with him because he's probably going to continue having sex with the other girl and you don't need to keep putting yourself at risk.

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    • Posted

      We hang out ALOT really often .

      I guess you can say he is the highlight of my week ..

      I feel like I would have to completely stop talking to him .

      But that never works we have tried so many times ...

      I honestly feel like none of this will end until this homeless girl is gone .

      No idea where to go from here.

      Do I proceed to take my anti biotics ?

      I tell him when need to use condoms . It Always happens in the heat of the moment

      That's what happen last time and I got re infected .

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    • Posted

      Also he sounds weird like he taken her in for his own sexual pleasure , why not if he wanted to help her give her money ,? It worrys me that he has gave her and her child a home , it's not normal really is it?

      Umean who does that he dosnt know if he could trust her so why would he let her into his home unless he had plans of controlling her and using her as a sex slave ! ??An then he had U on the side can I ask do u have sex at his house where she is

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    • Posted

      A little more background.

      They have known each other for a little while.

      She gets around because she had sex with 3 of his other cousins. He is the 4th cousin she has been with .

      So she has been around for sometime .

      Don't get to feeling sorry for her.

      She doesn't want to work at all or provide for her son..

      I guess you can say if it wasn't for him she would probably be in a woman's shelter.

      & NO !! My sister stays out in the same city he is .. so I'm usually out there on weekends .

      But I'm not getting ready to keep coming to him .. I'm not at all .

      He is going to have to start coming to my city and visiting me.

      From what he says they don't have sex that much but you never know.

      I don't want to just up and tell him .

      "Y'all need to get tested" because it's going to look like one I'm the one that caused the ordeal .

      But I know I need to take this antibiotic this discharge has a weird smell and I can't take it anymore & it grows overnight.

      I just literally feel like I'm stuck .

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    • Posted

      Well just say look im not seeing you anymore you have gave me somethink that's not right she's been around the block your sleeping with her then me how do I know ur not giving me all kinds im going to get tested and I think you ought to aswell if I have somethink from you I will never speak to you again pull his strings if he's into you then he will test ??an put your mind at rest x

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    • Posted

      Girl I know it's tough but the best thing for you, your emotions, and your health is to drop him 100%. He sounds absolutely no good for you. Think about your worth girl. Idk you but as a women I know you are too good to put yourself through talk of that. I've been in a similar messy situation, it was hard as hell but leaving him alone completely was the best decision I mad for myself. Stop worrying about his feelings more than your own.

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  • Posted

    Hopefully you've started and just coming to the end of the course of antibiotics now.

    Never delay taking antibiotics as the infection etc can get worse and they may not be as effective which can lead to having to have more and possibly stronger meds.

    I can't help but agree with what some have said already though, that being you appear to like him a lot more than he likes you and that he appears to be using you and quite possibly the other girl too just for pleasure or perhaps kudos or both.

    Doesn't matter why he's doing it what does matter is you! You have a right to be happy with a relationship full of love and respect...the situation clearly indicates you're not happy, love is one sided and there's little respect.

    To avoid further infections or problems you should make sure everyone you sleep with wears a condom and does so until the relationship develops and where you're sure it's s monogamous one.

    Every girl and woman deserves love and respect and honesty and faithfulness. I'm not simplistic or naive enough to think that always happens but you have a choice....you can be alone and single for a while and keep looking for Mr Right or even Mr Ok or you can let someone keep hurting you by sleeping with others, and I know you say sex just happens but he'll be getting used to that and possibly engineer situations where you want him and where he conveniently hasn't got s condom.

    Chances are you keep seeing him then you'll keep sleeping with him and he with her and her with others and the infection and hurt cycle will keep going round.

    Just remember if any man truly wants you he'll happily and quickly give up other women...If he doesn't well that speaks volumes about how little he values you

    Hope the meds worked and things have cleared up for you

    Take care

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