Need advice - family member

Posted , 3 users are following.

Worried about my sister who in her late 40s and a single mum.

For the past few years she has been a secret drinker (kids have found bottles hidden rtc..) She seems to sleep during the day so id guess she drinks when the kids goto bed.

In the past few months she has became worse and is usually drunk most of the day, every day.

Ive tried talking to her about it and all the family want to help but she doesnt want help.  I also spoke to her GP but he said that she needs to goto him for help.

She has also been violent to her kids who are 13, 15 and 21 but she will deny it . Shes been too drunk to remember.

The 13 year old told a teacher at school and social services took the younger kids to their grans and have not been back home. Social work have tried countless times to speak to her at home but she wont answer the door.

Her oldest daughter, still staying at home with her has said that her mum wants to goto sleep and never wake up.

A bit of background :  comes from a loving family Had a fantastic career before having a family. Ex husband left her for someone else.  She also attempted suicide 10 years ago with an overdose but with luck i went to her house and found her.

What do i do ?   1. For her sake  2. For her poor kids sake

 

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    This is a difficult one, as adults are free to conduct themselves in any way they see fit until such time as there is a problem.

    Her doctor cannot really step-in unless he/she is directly asked for help by your sister, or a particular health problem arises as a result of the alcoholism.

    This is just a thought, do you happen to know if your sister has been perscribed and is taking any oral medications that might conflict with the alcohol?  

    • Posted

      Then there a number or courses open to you.

      The first one would be to approach her doctor again, but this time mention that she is also taking over-the-counter painkillers at the same time as she is drinking alcohol.

      Every doctor has a duty of care to his/her patients, and where there is this sort of risk to a patient will usually get involved.

      If her doctor does get involved, then there is every chance that Social Services will be called-in to help the children.

      The risk is that a doctor who fails to acchieve the cooperation of such a patient may well invoke a 'Section', and force her into hospital care, and entrust the welfare of the children to Social Services.

      If you don't want to take this route, then you could directly involve Social Services, but there is no guarantee that your sister will receive the much-needed medical treatment.

  • Posted

    Johnny, I really feel for you. This is a very distressing situation. I'm also concerned for your 21-year-old niece, who is still living in this environment. However, I'm afraid Archemedes is right. The doctor won't, and legally can't, step in unless your sister asks him for help.

    I'm wondering whether there's anything the family can do to help the eldest girl. I think she needs to be everyone's priority right now. As for your sister, all you can do is let her know you're there for her. It may be that having the two younger children taken away will drive her down to rock-bottom and make her decide to do something about her drinking. This can happen, but there are no guarantees.

    Seems to me that all you can do now is stay strong yourself. I can understand that you feel you have responsibilities but none of this is your fault.

  • Posted

    It might sound horrible but you have to put the kids first. Maybe it's time to talk to someone in social services for some advice. It may be the push she needs to get help.

    Just because you ask for help from Social Services it doesn't mean her kids will necessarily be takne off her. That is the last thing social services will want to do but it's obviously hurting her kids, and who knows how far someone who is an alcoholic will go. Even an alcoholic does not understand their strength!

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.