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Need advice on these tablets

Posted , 7 users are following.

UnstableJef
UnstableJef

Hello let me tell you a bit about myself I recently got sectioned in the PNU for a month because of legal highs and other drugs it has been the biggest mitake of my life

I will tell you what happened I got put into the PNU because I was experiencing a mans voice telling me to kill myself and harm other people this also got the better of me and I tried hanging myself in hospital and also resulted in me punching the head of myself for 4 days very scary, Before I went in when out with friends or friends of friends I was being told that they where trying to harm me and planning attacks on me and this resulted into mayhem for ther other people all because of this voice the stuff I done on other people has made me grow to hate myself and I have put sucide on the back burner for 6 months because I was told I would be alright by then

So when in hospital I didnt get diagnosed with anything I got told it was because of drugs I know that is partly to do with it anyway they put me on seroqueal 3 times a day at 75mg it got rid of the voice but know I am out this is all coming back with avengence I wake at night screaming because the dreams I have are something you would see in a horror flim and very vivid like I have done this or it has happend to me and the voice in my head is slowly comming back

I phoned the doctor today and she said that she would double dose 3 times a day to see how I react I just cant see this working and I feel like I was palmed on in the PNU because of drug abuse, I guess what I am asking is is anyone on this dose and will this work because the only things I can see ahead of me is death and jail I really hate the mistakes I have made and messed myself up in the process I have defenitely took it too far this time

Can someone give me some reasurrence that this will help I keep getting told you have your whole life ahead of you I am 24 btw but just cant see life living with this crazy stuff in my head

Thanks so much for reading and hopefully I didnt bore you too much

PS: people on illeagal drugs stop while you are ahead you always tell yourself I will only smoke a bit of herb but I think in the long run this has done the most damage to me a much as I loved a good toke

2 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • marey
    marey UnstableJef

    Posted

    gosh jef...things have got bad to put it mildly!

    i wanted you to have at least one reply but hopefully there will be others. i've never touched drugs have no desire to and don't understand such a desire....it seems so fatalistic.....but... when i was nursing ....the one thing that seemed to get a response from my patients in your position was when i told them that they mattered.

    so jeff this is what i'd like to say to you:         you matter!!

    i have every confidence in you jeff that you will find a way out of this and a way to make good for what you have done.......keep this in your mind.

    however bad you feel now you will pull yourself through and find a way forward.

    i hope this helps you jef....and oh.....lose the prefix to your name. from now on choose to be jeff.   stable jeff!

    love marey

    i have every confidence that no matter how

  • UnstableJef
    UnstableJef

    Posted

    Thank you marey for your kind words really appreciate it tbh I have overcome the suicidal thoughts a good bit I have lived with them for I was about 14 only they got worse once I got sectioned I have been told if I can control them now for these 6 months that it is a big step and will probably be able to carry on doing so after 6 months but this at the minute is not the problem 

    I really think I have been misdiagnosed on my mental health like what would you say that was wrong with someone that explained that too you ? I have been clean from everything now for about 2 months and this voice in my head and phycotic dreams are coming back I am living a life that every person I see family and everything is out too do me wrong this voice tells me did you hear what he said or what they are going to do to you and it results in violence that fules my dreams even more he also says stuff about killing myself ways to do it like peer presure from someone I have never met before also cant sleep unless I have a weapon off some sort it is really messed up and wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy

    Before this happend to me I was a very stong minded person and unfortuly called people with the same symtoms weak minded but now I fully understand how powerfull the mind can be

    Do you are anyone that reads this think the doctor is wrong on this one  ?

    I hate to come to public forums and type this stuff up because I think someone will find it and use it against me I am at constant war with myself sometime you think you would be better off 6 foot under but I am trying and winning on this decision because I have a bit of hope

    Please anyone have yous had these problems coming of drugs I do think im in psychosis and being mis treated

    Thanks to anyone for help on this one, But for you Marey your kind words I will never forget thanks x

     

  • marey
    marey UnstableJef

    Posted

    oh thank you jeff!

    well your words of appreciation have touched me....so its a mutual exchange!

    I wouldn't worry too much about what the doctor says(!)...this is your issue. can you try meditation? can you get along to a group that practices or go and sit with the quakers...you can take your turn to speak into the silence...you won't be judged.

    so why don't you feel safe? what has happened to you in the past that you know about? oh weed is known to promote paranoia....its just that.....but you've got off it well done!

    can you try thinking about really good nourishment for yourself....avoid watching tv...and being too near EMF's....so switch off all your electric and computers at night and go to bed early...take epsom salt baths and try to detox...does this help jeff. you sound really quite lucid and rational...i do know someone who came off weed who had something of what you're going through.

    thinking of you x

    • victoria88756
      victoria88756 marey

      Posted

      Yeah, think Meditation and Quaker groups are a little silly now.  Clearly, Jef is experiencing psychotic episodes and needs a little more help that that!  Hang in there Jef.  My suggestion is to find a Clinican you TRUST and work from there.  Without Clinician/Patient trust you will never get the solutions and ease you are looking for. Good luck my friend.  Note.  Marey, your words are kind and your points relevant but seriously - meditation?  None of us would be on this damn site seeking any type of answer if we had not already tried the simple methods.  Most of us can't sit still long enough to watch a film let alone meditate!!!!!!!!
  • deborah91099
    deborah91099 UnstableJef

    Posted

    Hi there Jef, I can definitely relate to what you are saying as I had also addiction issues  although it was legal drugs eventually it went somewhere much worse.so now am prescribed seroquel. It has been quite a while since my worst days so they had advised me to come off the seroquel but then I did not sleep...at all so I continue to take it. I have found it does work for me and I put up with some of the side effects it does cause me especially since I am a diabetic also and it makes me very hungry all the time.
  • KRMe
    KRMe UnstableJef

    Posted

    I cannot offer any better advice than you have had already Jeff; it is worth bearing in mind that one of the common side effects of quetiapine is vivid dreams / nightmares - I certainly have them a lot now that I am on it.

     

  • penny1961
    penny1961 UnstableJef

    Posted

    Have you ever been tested for Narcolepsy?  Some of the things you are describing sound like it might be something you should mention to the doctor.  I have narcolepsy, and the vivid dreams, and even acting out vivid dreams are one of the symptoms.
  • BadNewsBrain
    BadNewsBrain UnstableJef

    Posted

    you have symptoms of psychosis - if they are related to illicit drug use/legal highs only, they typically subside after a few weeks abstaining from the illicit drugs/legal-highs. If the symptoms continue for a month or longer, the drugs may have triggered an underlying psychosis (welcome to the crazy club), and you need to see a shrink, get diagnosed, and get on the right meds.
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