Need advise

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A little background before my questions. My boyfriend was diagnosed with bipolar when he was young. He didn't like the medications so went to therapy instead and learned skills to deal with it. In our 12 year relationship, we broke up twice..once for a few days and another for like 3 months. We recently moved to a different city so he can go to the college he wanted. We live with my sister to save money even though I didn't care to. I didn't want to live with other people, I wanted just us. It took me awhile to find a new job in the new city but I finally did. We are struggling still financially. He start acting different recently. He said he felt weird and need space. So i gave him space and he push me away more. He gets aggitated with me easily now and doesn't say he love me anymore like he used to. He is secretive with his phone. I been the jealous type before but try not to anymore. He does talk to a female friend in another country a lot lately. He also planning to study aboard where she lives. I was able to do some detective work and found out they are dating, he had confess his love to her in an email. I haven't confront him about it. He is suppose to go to counseling in a couple weeks to talk to someone about his weird feelings. Is bipolar related to cheating? I know it's not physical since she is in a different country but emotional cheating. Ia this because of his bipolar or is he over me?

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Brokenmess.

    I'm sorry to hear of your situation.

    I can't speak for him, but i am bipolar and have never cheated on anyone, nor have i ever considered it.

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  • Posted

    He will do things in an impulsive manner and sometimes like everyone He may feel flustrated an out of his depth in some relationships, You have been together for quite a long time and He has found someone who is not part of your relationship to explain His problems and fears as He may feel trapped where He is now.

    I do not know what to suggest here, You may find the need to move on if you cannot talk to him regards this friend as this person could only be there as a friend and has no intention of starting a relationship, it may be your man does not know what he wants himself if He is jumping from one state to the next.

    Sometimes in mental health people need to be firm and kind, this may be a case where that may work

    B.

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  • Posted

    I don't think you can blame it fully on the bipolar , if he was that unwell were he is unaware of what he is doing then he would need medication or maybe hospitalised.

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  • Posted

     He didn't like the medications so went to therapy instead and learned skills to deal with it.

    Well, here is your answer. You can't just learn the skills to deal with psychotic disorders, like BD, with a talking therapy. While it may help, medications remain the first (and only) line of treatment. BD is a serious psychiatric condition and shouldn’t be underestimated. It is possible that the removal, new environment and related stress made his symptoms worse and - for example - induced a hypomania (cheating may be a sign of it).

    If you want to help, encourage your boyfriend to see a specialist and take drugs. Contemporary mood stabilisers are not that bad as the previous generation, he shouldn’t say no without trying. 

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  • Posted

    I have suffered from bipolar since I was a kid

    . No meds til I was 18.. took us 2 years to find the .right combination. I stay pretty level unless a stresser is added as Christmas thanksgiving all that fun stuff. Family issues are a major trigger for me. I am medicated with effexor and ambien which has been a good mix for me. Here recently my husband had been fighting and I was talking to another guy. I'm not making excuses but I was in a manic down with bd there is alot of impulses we fight with. Some people are addicted to shopping and when that down comes we seek out sex (in some people) but it does seem that cheating is a symptons of bd. I'm not a Dr or anything likeep that I just suffer from bd

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  • Posted

    Thanks for the feedback. I truly appreciate it. I know he won't take meds, he said he tried it once when he was diagnosed and didn't like how he felt on it so stop. We have been together soo long it's hard to let go.

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