Need explanation for something that happened a year ago
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Hello. I had this odd experience about a year ago that still puzzles me to this day, and would like to get an answer or an explanation for what exactly happened to me.
For context, I was in college, studying video game design to be precise. We got assigned a big and very important 3 month long group project of making a video game from scratch. Unfortunately for me, I got assigned to a group from hell to put it mildly, and there really wasn't much of anything I could do to improve the situation. Long story short, I end up having to shoulder the work of 4 people (we were a group of 5, and only 1 other person was doing enough work on it other than myself), on top of regular college homework from other classes, and was practically told to work harder and that my work suck left and right. I was also in the process of setting up disability services for myself because of my recent Chronic Depressive Disorder and Unspecified Anxiety Disorder diagnosis. I was over-worked, stressed out beyond my limits, and definitely experiencing the traditional burnout by the 3rd week.
On to the experience in question. This happened 2 months into this hell of a project. I was in a session with my school counsellor, feeling exhausted, tired, stressed out, barely functioning, and definitely neglected my hygiene for a while. We were talking about sending notice emails to all of my teachers to inform them of my disabilities and the accommodations I will now need, when all of a sudden, my brain broke. The best way I can describe the symptoms is by comparing it to a scene from the movie Get Out. It felt like I was suddenly pushed out into this dark and foggy world. My vision was like a tv screen far away, showing me the room's ceiling cause my body was now like a puppet with no strings, and everything sounded just as far and muddled. It was impossible to form any thoughts, let alone speak beyond "yes" or "no". My counsellor took notice of my odd behaviour and immediately ended the session and sent me back home once she realized that I was really not ok. Thankfully, I could still move and walk, and brain's auto-pilot knew how to get back home without thinking, cause I legit don't remember how I did get back home. Afterwards, for about a week, I slept 19-21 hours a day, and couldn't do anything else beside binge Netflix or YouTube when I was awake. After that week, though, I was well enough to get back to work and finish the project and school for the year. Hadn't had another episode since, and other than the depression and anxiety, and the fact I currently can't handle school for the moment, I am back to normal health.
This could definitely just be a really bad burnout, but the symptoms don't align with burnout symptoms, and I can't find anywhere on the internet that burnout causes a loss of cognitive functions like loosing speech temporarily, or decrease in vision and sound. I asked my therapist and my school counsellor about it, and they have no idea what happened. I'm having a hard time letting it go because of this big question mark, and also because I am scared of having another episode. What was that strange event that happened to me, and is it something common for those with anxiety?
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sue77944 Realism_Snide
Edited
It's called "dissociation ". Look it up. It's a coping mechanism that your brain can go for when very stressed. It's frightening but not dangerous. I get it a lot. I can be talking to someone and then it's like someone else is talking and I'm just sitting in my own brain listening in and hoping they don't notice, and feel I can't control my own hands, which look like aliens.
Read about it! Knowledge is power. When it happens (if it happens again) just tell yourself it won't last long, you'll be back in reality soon. Try not to worry. Good luck.