Need help and advice bout my depression?
Posted , 5 users are following.
ok basically i've had this depression for around nearly 2 years id say now, im quite good at hiding it so most of my family were unaware of what was happening as were most of my friends. i have a friend or 2 that sort of clocked on but they had no idea how bad it ever got.
?i never have seeked any help as i thought i could handle it and to be honest id have days or even weeks are feeling happy, its sort of hard to explain but most of the time id feel worthless and like i didnt want to get out of bed, then there were odd days or weeks when my moods picked up and i just felt good. within the last 6 months my good moods are far to rare now and hardly ever happen.
?Near the start of the year i found out that my nan (This woman is basically my parents, she raised me as my mum and dad split up and i went with my dad to live with my nan and grandad, my dad then took a back step and let my nan raise me. she tought me to read, write, spell and count. basically everything good i am i owe to this woman) has got cancer and its terminal. it really knocked me back and i didnt know what to do.
?i struggled to handle the news but i carried on with work and i only cried to myself in my room not around people.
?Then a day before my birthday my great nan died suddenly, yes she was an old woman but it came from nowhere, she seemed phsyically fine for her age. That obviously broke my heart too.
?Then last month my ex came to me (this girl played games with me, she lied to me non stop she treated me like sh*t during the relationship. when we were together we found out she was pregnant. She then dumped me shortly after, She had a first scan and told me the baby wasnt mine it was her ex's. i said are you sure? She promised me 100% the baby wasnt mine) and said that i have a daughter whos nearly 2months old. I was in shock and i didnt know what to do or say, i said i thought you said it wasnt mine. she said that she looks like me and all her family think shes mine and she has my hair colour. i looked at this beautiful baby and thought immediately she was mine, i took a dna test and they came back positive so i am a daddy. this is sort of good news as i love kids, but my ex is picking up where she left off. shes using my daughter as a weapon at times. she has had goes at me for asking to see my daughter, shes ignored me and then gone mad at me over stupid things. making my life hell. im struggling with it to be honest.
?then just couple weeks ago my brother tried to commit suicide, he has had bad spells but i had no idea he was in such a dark place, he tried to hang himself. we managed to save him but he said to me the other day he just wants to end it.
?i was already feelings depresssed before all the above but they have pushed it over the edge and i feel i cant cope without help anymore.
I'm also stuck in a dead end job i dont like but i need the money because im a daddy now and i need to think of my lil girl. I do have a lil money aside so i think i could take 2 weeks with a drs note and be ok financially but im always working and i need to inform work well in advance of drs appointments.
Work is not helping me at all, its sort of hard to explain but wake up and dont want to get ready or do anything, i feel so empty and miserable doing it and its all getting to much for me now, i physically feel incapable of working and i just cant do it anymore.
?A couple days ago i had what i can only describe as a breakdown i was in floods of tears and i lost all of my strength, my mum saw it and she said i need help. Problem is im always working and without a valid reason for not turning up i could potentially lose my job.
?basically help? what do i do? i cant hack work at the moment
1 like, 5 replies
dyslexic15020 TeddyDan
Posted
TeddyDan dyslexic15020
Posted
went to dr today shes give me a 2 week note due to depression though, so guess she thinks its depression.
dyslexic15020 TeddyDan
Posted
Psyched_Out_Kim TeddyDan
Posted
Wow, you've been through the wringer! Losing a loved one that you're very close to is extremely hard. The stress of everything else on top of that only makes matters worse. I'm glad to see that you went to a doctor, because hiding depression for years can be very dangerous.
As for your ex, it was a complete lie for her to say that the baby wasn't yours based on a scan. Scans are only meant to check how well the baby is growing. Good thing you did a dna test, because that will help if you need to take her to court for visitation rights, or anything else relating to your daughter.
On the good side of things ... Congratulations on your baby girl!!! She needs her daddy, so no more hiding depression, stress, etc. Take care of yourself so you can take care of her in the best possible way. ?
wayne1962 TeddyDan
Posted
Hi TeddyDan - OMG I am so sorry to read of the rollercoaster your life has been. It's a terrible chain of events that have been out of your control.
The first thing you must do is take that two weeks. Talk to your employer about the reasons - you maight be surprised how supportive they may be. You will have to judge for yourself what you share with him/her. The next step is to see a doctor and describe how you are feeling and that you are overwhelmed and suffering depression. Ask that you be referred to a psychologist or relevant counsellor, with whom you must be totally honest. Ask that counsellor whether you should be referred to a psychiatrist for medications. The problem with meds is that they will not kick in for several weeks, so there will be no sudden relief, but you must be constant in taking those meds as they are a tool used with counselling to help alleviate your mood. Counselling can go on whether you are working or not and is a great space to share anything under the sun. They are not there to judge you.
Your brothers situation is sad, and I hope that the suicidal event has encouraged him to seek help for it. Keep in contact with him - you can help each other through these dilemmas and share info.
Equally important here is your precious daughter. The behaviour of your daughters' mother is disgraceful, but for the time being you will have to tolerate it. Meanwhile, without telling her, you should explore your legal paternity rights and plan what you are going to do within the law to ensure you have equal and unfettered access to your daughter. Your counsellor/psychologist may be able to make suggestions as to what you can do.
Your job is important, and as much as you hate it, you should keep hold of it because it is important you have something to occupy yourself with. this does not mean that you cannot look for a more suitable position - without letting your employer know until it is absolutely necessary. Job change can be challenging too, but if you seek something you love to do, it will brighten your life.
The actions you take will help empower you. Hopefully, you will find an end to the depressive epidodes with medical help and also be able to plan a future with your little girl in it. Be kind to yourself and don't let the b*st*rds get you down. Best of luck with your future.