Need help with codeine addiction

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Hello! I'm Billie, 23 years old and have been very addicted to codeine 30mg for over a year now! I've been thinking for a while now to go cold turkey, but the thought scares me so much! But I'm ready. I'm ready to come off them but I need some help and advice. I take up to 15 a day, sometimes maybe more. I've been to the doctor and tried the cutting down, which doesn't help me at all. I take them as soon as I wake up, the urge and need for them takes over my entire body. I need to be strong enough, I need to be codeine free. Any help or advice is needed! Lol.

When I feel myself withdrawing from them my anxiety goes through the roof (I have anxiety anyway but this makes it alot worse and have just started to take medication to calm it down) I shiver, I sweat, I turn into the devil with my mood, I'm horribly snappy, I get stomach pain, I kinda lose all the motivation in me. I could go on and on.

It's pretty easy for me to get hold of to, my doctor prescribes them weekly to me, aswell as people who have them in for pain. I make up a few lies, tooth ache head ache.. Anything to get my hands on them. But I want it to stop, need it to stop. My life revolves around this nasty drug and I feel like I'm ready.. Always said I would do it when I'm ready, and I am.

I want the hold gone. I want to wake up without reaching for my packet at the side of my bed. I don't want the sheer panickng I get when I realise I've ran out.

So please. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Billie. X

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Billie.

    I know that "pull" that you mention!

    Its the last thing you think about at night & the first thing in your head when you wake up, plus all the bits inbetween, & also, if you know you havent got any, you feel like your arms have fallen off or that you've just lost your best friend etc. Weve all been there my mate & know exactly what you're describing. Its the addiction! Thats what it does to you!!

    I was addicted to Oxycontin for 8yrs, i shouldn't be here now & it totally, Totally destroyed my life!!

    As you've been to the Dr's & tried to cut down & that didnt work, as you know, you have them there so you think you'll take a couple more & leave out a later dose but, it never works that way does it!!!

    If you're saying you're ready, then will power is your best friend trying to swap when you would normally take some for something else etc & just trying to preoccupy your mind etc.

    Im really sorry i cant be of anymore help mate but, i got to that point where this drug took everything from me, my job, my lovely sporty car, my home, my body, mind & soul. So i just got to that point which, hopefully you're now at where i said enough is now enough, before it killed me, i decided to stop & will power more than anything else did it for me. And, i have the least willpower than anyone!!!

    Again, im sorry i cant offer you any useful advice, just try your best & keep trying. If you fail, dont beat yourself up, class it as a minor setback & try again. Each time you try you get closer to getting your life back!!

    Good luck mate

    Ritchie

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply! smile I took some this morning, I knew then today was the day! That doesn't make it any less scary though!

      I have no patience without them, they have become my life and who I am and I just don't want that anymore!

      Obviously the first few days are gonna be tough but Luke you said, willpower is gonna have to be my thing! Your comment means alot, thank you.

      Billie. ??

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    • Posted

      I'm just really sorry i couldn't help you anymore & give you the answers you wanted. But the thing is, when you get addicted to codeine & opiates etc, there is no easy answer & no easy way to get shot of it & get your life back.

      Just keep trying & as i said, if you fail, dont beat yourself up, put it down to experience & one step closer to getting your old life back.

      Good luck 👍

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    • Posted

      Anything will help me at the moment! I'm already getting snappy and shakey!

      It's true there's no easy answer, believe me if there was some magic wand I'd be on it! I've just gotta do this the hard way and stay strong and hope for the best! Thank you!

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  • Posted

    Hello Billie.

    I'm really sorry that you are in this situation, but really glad that you are facing up to the reality of your addiction. Can I ask why you began taking Codeine in the first place? Was it for pain relief? Or used recreationally? A lot of people get given codeine after minor surgeries and such, and get hooked on the warm 'blissed out' feeling it gives them. They then continue to take it for that reason, and not for its intended purpose of pain relief. I am thinking that if you get cravings for Codeine that it may be that the drug you were prescribed was actually too strong for your level of pain. I don't want to sound dismissive of any pain that you may have, as all pain is horrible, but your pain receptors should bind with the Codeine and therefore you should not get any kind of high if the drug is of the right strength. Usually, it is only recreational users that get the full hit of euphoria and therefore start to crave that next 'high'. It is a case of I really really WANT Codeine and how it makes me feel, rather than Oh God, I hurt so bad, I NEED Codeine (or anything!) that will make this pain go away. The use of Codeine should be secondary to your pain, if that makes sense? You should only take it when it is to relieve pain, not cravings for the side effects in other words. Even when taking Fentanyl, I have never got even the slightest bit high or euphoric because my pain has been absolutely excruciating. Regarding, your coming off Codeine. Ideally, you should not be going cold turkey! It can end you up in hospital. The withdrawal will be a LOT worse, than if you taper down, which is what I am doing (I was on Fentanyl 800mg, Zomorph 600mg, and Oramorph 300mg a day!). You have said that you have tried to come off slowly, but cannot do it and end up lying to your Doctor to get more. You really need to have an honest discussion with your Doctor about what's going on. If you're really going to do this, you WILL need support. Do you have a family member who can give you your tablets every 4 hrs, but at a reduced dosage? The remainder your tablets should be locked away where you have no access to them. I had an 'amnesty', where all of my opioids that I had squirrelled away (sometimes I'd miss doses because I was crashed out after days of no sleep for instance) were handed over to my Husband. I actually did this because I was severely depressed and did not want to take the risk of using my meds to attempt an OD. I knew that it was in my best interests to do this, and whilst I sincerely believe that trying to go it alone is very brave of you, it would be in your best interests to hand control of your drugs to a trusted person too. In the grip of withdrawal, the risk of caving in is too easy if you have a stash of

    Codeine right next to you. Wishing you lots of luck, whatever you decide to do. Emma - xx-

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  • Posted

    Hi Billie,

    I am in the same situation as you, I've been taking these pills for around 7 years mainly in the form of Nurofen plus, sometimes up to 2 32 packs a day. I've totally ruined my digestive system and have had recent hospital stays which I needed 2 blood transfusions due to bleeding ulcers from the ibuprofen in the Nurofen plus. I've had enough and want my life back. I used to take the tablets spaced out during the day up to 4 times but for the last week I have been trying to go as long as I can between tablets and only taking the bare minimum to stop the terrible withdrawals. I also get codeine prescribed now from the doctor as I had to be honest during my hospital stays about what I was taking with regard to the damage I have caused internally. I am now taking a fraction of the tablets I used to and am hoping if I can take less and less each time hopefully I can be codeine free. I am down to about 8 tablets once a day which compared to what I have taken in the past in a tiny fraction. I am also trying to keep busy to take my mind off things plus looking at my 3 beautiful children who didn't deserve a mother like this will hopefully give me the willpower to beat these evil tablets. The best of luck to you and I hope you manage to beat this evil illness

    Emma xx

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