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I've been drinking wine every other night for years. I am stuck in a vicious cycle. I have become like a hermit. I am self loathing and misera

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  • Posted

    I sent my post too early 😕 can't even get that right and I'm sober 😣 anyway you get the drift. I need to stop but its hard to imagine a life without it. I am 42. I feel such a failure and a disappointment.
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    • Posted

      I don't even like the taste of the stuff and it stinks horrible too and its expensive. Why would I choose to spend a fortune drinking vile poison only to feel dreadful about it? It doesn't make sense 😑
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    • Posted

      HI Wendy. I am surprised that you think it stinks. Most people simply love everything about drinking and whatever their favourite drink might be they just continue till it is too late....not you and perhaps advice here from this forum can help you since we have all been in your situation. how deep are you?? ready to stop gradually or completely? tricky one and up to you but I do wish you all the best
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  • Posted

    Hi Wendy, I'm like you but have recently read lots of books and joined online site soberiats who are really helping think it's worth a look as lots of support on there. Hope this helps Ann 
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  • Posted

    Hi Wendy I was a really bad alcoholic for many,.many years....I have been sober for 13 yrs....I have my life back...

    Ask your GP to refer you to an community alcohol service nurse....they can arrange home detoxification...or inpatient detox.....with support and aftercare as long as you need it.....please don't hate yourself, you have not chosen this. ....nobody does or would....

    I was horrified when I was sectioned four times into a mental health HOSPITAL....but....it saved my life....

    Ask for help now.....you deserve it !!! I wish you all the good luck and health in the world....Big warm hugs to you....never give up trying....you are worth it.....we all are....DEIRDRE ...x xxx

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  • Posted

    I 2nd what Deidre said.  I have almost 2 months sober.

    You ARE worth it.

    You didn't cause it...its an illness....If your ready to seek help..you will find help.

    Sober living is much more enjoyable....

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  • Posted

    785My darling be kind to yourself.  It's the booze that makes you feel like this.

    All I can say is that the self loathing and feeling miserable is one of the most common feelings  our horrible habit  makes us feel, even when we think we are sober or sobering up. It takes time to feel better when you decide to stop.  Try not to think it's for the rest of your life.....remember its the booze fairy in the brain!

    Please don't judge yourself so harshly.  In our society opinions need to change with regards to  alcoholism.There's so much  shame surrounding it. But there are some kind understanding people out there who do understand like us

    You need to love yourself, look after yourself and be kind to yourself.  I know that may sound a bit soft, and perhaps crazy, but you know yourself the best and only you can make a change if you want to. Nobody should judge you no matter what you decide.

    I've been on and off the booze for years. I know the feelings you are describing, I can imagine most on this forum do too. 

    Try not to be so hard on yourself.

    Love to you.

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  • Posted

    Sounds like you're sick of being sick.

    You have two options.

    Let it get worse, or go detox.

    Go to your GP and hopefully you can do a short in patient stay with meds.

    Then you will need therapy and maybe a group as well. 

    What do you have to lose? 

    Youre worth it.

     Youll see how much life changes in a good way.

    You are not a failure. You just haven't really tried yet! 

    Better late than never!!! You can do this. 

    <3 

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  • Posted

    Hi Wendy

    i don't mean to diminish your problem or anyone's advice but I wish I could be alcohol free every other night! This week I spent one night alcohol free and that was a huge step for me! Sadly where I live (Middle East) the only support on offer to me is AA.

    sad

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    • Posted

      That's OK, I'm far from offended 😊 it made a welcome change from being made to feel like I should go charging off to the nearest hospital. Or feeling like I'm auditioning for the next l'oreal advert and "worth it".

      Day 2 of a long old road. I will spend some of the day looking at new career options. I shall also be finding a good therapist. Itis an emotional dependency with me and I am not using my time constructively so that's what I will be changing.

      Thanks all.

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    • Posted

      I do find that if I am completely shattered after a busy day I just want my bed and not alcohol. Good luck with whatever you decide to try! 
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  • Posted

    Hi Wendy, hope you managed to look up that site I recommended as I'm sure you will find it very helpful they do recommend lots of book as well and it's so helpful,to be able to just read and listen to others struggles, I was a bit surprised by some of the reply a you received as I feel your like myself and it's become a big habit that's really hard to change. I myself have managed with their help to be almost alcohol free now I'm aiming to stay AF for October but still just thinking one day at a time I'm sure it will give you some extra help. Good luck 

    Ann x

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    • Posted

      Thanks Ann. Yes I find books and others stories help. I still get pleasure out of lots of things so I will focus on that. I've taken up yoga, started baking my own bread, I walk the dog 3 times a day and I paint and shabby chic furniture. I fear the cravings but I will just have to find some way of dealing with them. Its a horrible viscous cycle but I'm gonna get on that wagon and cling on for dear life 😣 I will let you know how it goes 😕
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    • Posted

      Hi, your doing all the right things yoga is really good I also practice mindfulness and meditate, I have just also started adult mindfulness colouring during the evening find it really helps with sleeping.

      keep me posted on your progress Ann x

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    • Posted

      Not sure what to do today Ann 😯 I'm undecided. I don't know whether to wear myself out with a longer hill walk and a swim which trust me will take motivation this morning coz I'm in a CBA mood yet I know it would benefit me. Or relax at home with films or a book and do some baking and gardening and walk the dog somewhere quieter and shut the world out. I have some painting to do aswell. Effort is required. Cup of tea and a decent breakfast first. Cornflakes with creamy milk I think 😀 and my soda bread with jam. Have a good day. Hope its a good one for you 😃
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