Need support...dad dealing with bone metastised prostate cancer
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi there,
Just looking for support, and advice or shared experiences.
My dad was first diagnosed in 2006 with prostate cancer and it was caught early. And it came back June 2014. Was given 17 months 'without treatment'. We are on month 18 now and while he has managed well over the last year and maintained and active lifestyle. The last 6 weeks his activity level has drastically dropped. In a lot of pain, losing weight, anemic, losing appetite, no energy.
I know that this cancer is very aggressive. It has already spread to his hips, spine, ribs and shoulder. And I know that it's not curable only treatable.
I am so afraid of losing my dad and it's so hard watching him go through this.
I'm not sure what I'm asking really. I guess just what to expect? Or anyone else that has been through similar situation to this?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
2 likes, 5 replies
linda83143l meg41428
Posted
My mother was not given very long from Cancer. Yet when she died ( my sister and I were with her)
You couldn't believe it
You went into shock
Your heart is,ripped apart.
My mother told,a neighbour the exact date,she was going to die and she,was,right
Nothing can prepare you for a death but,keep your chin up and be,,strong.
It doesn't mean you can not cry, its tour father . I send you peace, strengh, and comfort.
God,Bless x Kinfmds
meg41428 linda83143l
Posted
I can't even imagine what life would be like without my father. I am only 33. And my grandmother is 92 and still living on her own. My father comes from a family with great genes and longevity in their favor.
It seems unfair. Although these experiences how taught me a lot about living. That I am thankful for!
Thank you for your kind and honest words
Pepasan meg41428
Posted
Your situation sounds very difficult. I lost my father when I was 16 to cancer of the lung. It was horrible seeing his deterioration. His death was actually a relief after 6 months of breathing difficulties. Also my sister - non-hodgkins lymphoma. Her chemo was so debilitating I believe she made a choice not to go for checks and more treatment. I was angry at first, but it was her life and her right They were both in their mid 50s. I 'm now 65 with a diagnosis of Prostate Cancer - slow-developing, luckily, These are dark times for you, but better to talk with him about death and dying than to pretend it's not happening. Could your Dad even help plan how to say Goodbye and even how he'd want his funeral? Grief after death is so much harder when there wer regrets and leaving things unsaid and unfinished. It's also surprising how we humans rise to the challenges - with support - to deal with these things. Everyone's different, but my wife's Dad died of cancer that went to his brain, and we were always glad to have been frank and open about the road he was on when nearing the end. Best wishes, Peter
meg41428 Pepasan
Posted
I do understand what you mean about being mad about how your sister wanted to carry on without treatment. My first instinct was to plan to drastically change my dads diet and lifestyle. But it surprisingly didn't take me long to realize that this was not my fight. Even now at this stage I am not scrambling for a cure. It feels a little like I'm letting the cancer win. But that's not what my dad wants. He has said he only wants to do what the doctors think is reasonable. I have to respect that.
Thank you for your advice and story.
debbie60522 meg41428
Posted