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Need to learn how to rest and slow down.

Posted , 6 users are following.

JulieBadger
JulieBadger

Went to see my ME Occupatiojnal Therapist today he said if he was to sum up my week diary I gave him it was " you are doing too much and not resting enough ".  Knew he was going to say that.  I have honestly reduced but it looks like I've still got a long way to go.

Thing is .. I don't know how to rest.  I can do a couple of days of it like when you first get on holiday or having a restful weekend.  However, my brain justs wants to be on the go all the time. It hates resting.

So now I have the challenge of learning how to rest and slow downrolleyesx

1 like, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • dambudzo
    dambudzo JulieBadger

    Posted

    so you need to find things to do that are engrossing enough to keep your brain busy but otherwise physically not demanding.

    not sure how you feel about any of the following: reading, craftwork, painting, jigsaw puzzles, needlework etc.

    am sure that other people could come up with different ideas also.

    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger dambudzo

      Posted

      Amazingly the OT considers those not resting enough rolleyes. I already do the reading and jigsaws but got told I also need to fill more of my time with meditation and soft music.  I think I might see if there is anything like fun meditation, so that my brain stays concentrating on what it should be doing. 

      Thank you for helping x

    • dambudzo
      dambudzo JulieBadger

      Posted

      oh goodness me. that does sound quite the opposite of relaxing to be honest. they'll have you listening to whale music and waterfalls next!

      how about listening to radio dramas or books on CD, if you promise that you'll close your eyes?

       

    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger dambudzo

      Posted

      oooo, books on cd. Now that sounds good!  Gosh I take the mick out of my husband for listening to Radio 4 dramas in his car (I'm in England for anyone who doesn't know Radio 4) he's go to love it if I start listening to themlol.

      Waterfalls make me want the toilet and whale music sends me loopy. I got a sound thing I does bird music. Things is it's on a loop so my mind picks up every time the loop starts again. Wish I could just turn off my mind - flick a switch or something.

      Definately off to check the library on-line for what types of books are on CD. brill - thanks xxx

  • ChloeCybil
    ChloeCybil JulieBadger

    Posted

    I think you said before you have had this for a number of years. I really don't see how just meditating and listening to music can help. I think the dr. is just grasping for  something to tell you. I find that short walks and keeping my mind active is what keeps me going. I have more good days than bad.....
    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger ChloeCybil

      Posted

      Yeh, I've had it for 22 years.  It's the last 2 years that it has become moderate / severe.  I can't walk more than 50 metres on sticks on a very good day (bad days can hardly do 2 steps).  I got a mobility scooter but would have to lift that in and out of my car (it weighs a ton so can't do it more than twice in a day).  Also haven't got footpaths on my road and it's single car width so would struggle if any cars come.  I would of loved to do some walks. Especially as my road is used as a jogging/dog walking area.  It's rural with fields around me.

      I probably have more bad than good days.  I'm basically house bound with the energy to pop the kids to school, take them to a couple of kids clubs a week and then do a maximum of 2no. 2hour work meetings a week out of the house.

      One of my problems is that I am self-employed and work from home.  In many ways that is brilliant, I do my hours, I don't have to travel each way, I can lay down at anytime.  The other side is it's hard to switch off, it's easy to keep working upto the point others are arriving home and most of all I love my job. 

      He asked me if I wanted to stay the way I am for the next 2 years.  I had to say "no".  Most nights I go to bed feeling yuck (I get different levels of yuckcheesygrin). 

      So I'm going to have to bite the bullet and force myself to calm down.  Fingers crossed I'm going to start loving resting within the week.

    • lilysw
      lilysw JulieBadger

      Posted

      Yep, totally get it, don't know why but mine has also deteriorated at an alarming rate in the past 5-10yrs.  Totally housebound now with about an hour of energy a day.  Moved here to Cornwall 3 years ago and I haven't been able to meet anyone so spend all of my time alone except for hubby when he gets home from work.  Find chatting exhausting, very cruel really as I was a real chatterbox.  But it's the pain and the total fatigue that is the real killer.  I have had to struggle to find reasons why I keep going, and I love life.  Never thought I would thinks those thoughts. I am, oddly. not depressed so it is a calm reasoning which is it's way even more horrible.  I do hope that you are able to find some relief and quality of life.  It is my goal, ot be able to go out for lunch and just enjoy being and not feeling the mass of symptoms that insist of following me everywhere spoiling everything.
    • ChloeCybil
      ChloeCybil JulieBadger

      Posted

      That is wonderful that you can still work from home. That in itself has to be exhausting. I find that I can't shut my mind off at night when I go to bed so it takes me forever to fall asleep. This disease is so tiring that I don't know if I would recognize a normal day if I had one. Hang in there and do whatever it takes to feel good at least a couple of hours a day.
  • lilysw
    lilysw JulieBadger

    Posted

    That's the greatest problem for ME sufferers as A personality types, it has taken me 20 years to get it, I would urge everyone to give in and see all the rest you are doing as active treatment.  Also it is important for you to try and find ways, meditation/relaxation while resting, because an active brain uses as much energy as actually doing something.  I have learned to close my mind down, I'll admit is wasn't easy and I still have to stay on top of the creeping thought and ideas that want to keep dashing through my mind, but I know that when I am able to truly rest, meaing an empty calm mind, I really reap the benefits.  Do stick with it, everything you do for yourself is a kindness and try to only take one small step at a time.
    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger lilysw

      Posted

      Can you remember how you first learned to shut my mind down?  That is my main problem I think.
  • joy47826
    joy47826 JulieBadger

    Posted

    What's the rush? Are you so busy that you can't slow down....We choose our actions.

    Side Story, a lady on my other FM/CFS board claims she deals with CFS, but she is like a superwoman, so I question her motives....

    She does for everyone in her big family and her friends online are forever telling her to slow down....but she doesn't....she's almost like a doormat to her big family......

    Change Your Mind, Change Your Life....

    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger joy47826

      Posted

      I think it's cos I don't want to slow down. I know something needs doing so I do it.  I'm finding it hard to really get my head around that slowing down will really make such a big difference.

      As you say maybe I really do have to get it into my head that changing my mind set about resting really will change my life.  I really do want to change my life.

  • alison44235
    alison44235 JulieBadger

    Posted

    I am beginning to think I must do less. Some days though I am in bed fr 14 hours. I find that the only place i feel O.K. is in bed. If I go on holiday I feel wors because I don't find that much of a rest and it takes a long time to get over when I get back.

    I hate it when poeple say I do too much. They have no idea of how much rest I have and defifnitely don't understand that I feel worse after a holiday, they just laugh and say 'holidays are made to make you feel better'

    I do find it difficult to sleep sometimes as my brain just won't stop.

    • JulieBadger
      JulieBadger alison44235

      Posted

      Holidays make me feel worse too. The packing, the travelling, not being in your own bed.  The pressure to be out with everyone, especially when they want to eat out in the evenings (just when I want to lay down).  The either being out all day with them or being stuck on my own all day in the holiday place cos where they want to go see is toofar for half the day.

      One of my rest problems is that I have Fibromyalga - sorry but if anyone says the are the same I would have to definately disagree.  ME/CFS needs you to rest, Fibro needs you to keep on the move.  Therefore if I were to try laying down for more than 2 hours at a time the Fibro kicks in and I end up in so much pain cos I haven't moved enough. So I'm stuffed!

      I also find if I haven't read or worked enough my brain just doesn't want me to go to sleep.  Another shut down brain issue.

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