Need to sort out my daily drinking

Posted , 10 users are following.

Hi,

It's been very helpful reading others' experiences so I thought posting about mine might help someone else, here's hoping! So, I'm a male in my late forties and have become used to drinking every day, mainly wine, no spirits (too easy to go way too far with no warning) and some beers. My gorgeous wife has had enough, I'm very restless in bed when sleeping after too much alcohol and I'm keeping her awake, this means she's (quite rightly) annoyed and tired, and it's my fault. So I feel guilty, ashamed, and say to myself enough is enough, let's just stop drinking. But I don't, and I don't understand why it's so difficult. I see the numerous benefits in stopping but then the evening comes and I think I'd like a drink to relax and so on, and so on, and there you go, you've done it again! I need to get out of this loop, for the sake of my family if for no other reason (and there are many). Anyway, this is my starter post, I intend to add more as I go along trying to reduce or even stop altogether (which I struggle to imagine right now, but anything's possible, right?) It's such a love/hate relationship, love how it feels (initially) and hate what it does to those around me.

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    How long have you been drinking and what is your usual daily consumption. Please give the true figure, not the one you tell your doctor. wink

     

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    • Posted

      Hi and thanks for taking the time :-)

      On a weekday I've benn polishing off a bottle of wine each evening, weekends two bottles a day if I just keep going. I also keep a box in the kitchen and down a glass at a time, rinse the glass and put it on the side. (This is weird typing this - looks so stupid!!) And how long? Decades. When I was about 7 my Grandad asked my (younger) brother and me if we'd like a little bit of "special" in our lemonade - I think it was sherry and I loved it immediately. Then teenage drinking until you puke at the pub every Thursday night, then University drinking every night at the Hall bar, then quite a long break when I started work, but its built up over about 20 years I guess. And no, I've never told a Doctor this, ha!! A couple of months ago my wife popped back down to the kitchen one night and caught me sneaking another glass of red from the box, felt sooo bad, like a kid caught red handed. So much concealment has been going on - and not always successful as you can see.

       

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  • Posted

    Hello Mark. How much and weekly consumption? I always found excuses to drink, relax and feel better but did realise the dangers since I would often drink much too much. How strong is your desire to stop and feel better?
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    • Posted

      Hi and thanks for taking the time :-)

      On a weekday I've been polishing off a bottle of wine each evening, weekends two bottles a day if I just keep going. I also keep a box in the kitchen and down a glass at a time, rinse the glass and put it on the side. (This is weird typing this - looks so stupid!!) And how long? Decades. When I was about 7 my Grandad asked my (younger) brother and me if we'd like a little bit of "special" in our lemonade - I think it was sherry and I loved it immediately. Then teenage drinking until you puke at the pub every Thursday night, then University drinking every night at the Hall bar, then quite a long break when I started work, but its built up over about 20 years I guess. And no, I've never told a Doctor this, ha!! A couple of months ago my wife popped back down to the kitchen one night and caught me sneaking another glass of red from the box, felt sooo bad, like a kid caught red handed. So much concealment has been going on - and not always successful as you can see.

       

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    • Posted

      And re my desire to stop and feel better, it's strong now, I wish alcohol didn't exist. Hate the effects on my wife. Need to do something.

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  • Posted

    Hi Mark. I'm in similar situation. Not drinking quite as much as you but for a few years (decades!) longer. I don't think you will crack this in one go. You've been drinking too much for too long. Sorry about that, and I hope I'm wrong. You can, of course, over the next few months, show me I'm wrong.

    But I don't want to put a downer on you as you've made the first vital step in facing up to your situation. That is really positive. My suggestion, in line with RHGB's thinking, is to take one step at a time and start by trying to get an accurate record of your drinking. The Drinkaware site and app is good for this. It will show you where you are on the risk to your health. That may provide some more motivation. Check out the site: https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/understand-your-drinking/unit-calculator

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Thomas,

      Things are looking a lot better, last week I stuck to one glass of red each evening, well, until Thursday anyway, Friday a few more! I do feel a shift in my thinking in that I'm trying to drink as little as possible, not as much as I can and try to get away with it. I'm focusing on the benefits of resisting and that helps a lot. My wife is sleeping much better - I'm not! Getting off to sleep after a good few is easy but now I'm awake for some time, too alert. Then I'm waking at 4am and I don't know why. But it's worth it to have my mornings back. Progress :-D

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    • Posted

      Sorry I am a bit slow to reply. The site was giving me error messages. Great news so far. Stick with it. The sleep may sort itself out. Do you exercise? That is a major contributor to sleeping well for me. And not drinking too much. You can get a rebound from alcohol which sends you off pronto but then you wake after a few hours as if you've had a couple of strong coffees and can't get back to sleep. If you want to look it up it's called glutamine rebound (IIRC).

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