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I know I said 'need to talk', but how, why & what to say. I have suffered off and on from deression for over 30 years now, I first had it after my first child was born, I had severe Post -Natal depression, it lasted for 3 and a half years, after my second child it happened again, after being told by the medical profession that it wouldn't recur since I'd had it before I would know what was happening and be able to fight it. WRONG!!!!! Since then it had recured several times, I have had ECT, which I wish I hadn't, as my memory of my childs younger years are shot to pieces. The doctor a few years ago decided that it was SAD I was actually suffering from and told me to take more Vit.D., I went along with this, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis as well which is horrible. Sometimes I wonder if it's Karma and perhaps I really am a bad person and therefore desserve all this horrible things that are happening to me. I had been doing not bad at fighting it until about 5/6 weeks ago and bang was hit with a sledgehamner, I haven't got dressed for weeks now, And although I hate to admit this I haven't actually showered for over a week now. Anyone who knows me would tell you this is not me, I love to be showered, make up on, out and about, love spending time with friends, but now I don't answer the phone, I know I'm in trouble. I want it to end, I dont' have the courage or guts to end it, sometimes I wish I did. Sorry I said I didn't know what I wanted to talk about and now I've rambled thank you to anyone who reads this and perchance answers me.
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