Need to vent

Posted , 7 users are following.

At for some apparent reason I can't stop crying, I'm angry agitated at what haven't a clue. Been in the loos crying, scratched my stomach to try and get rid of this tension now it's bled through my top so now got to cover it up. Taken 5mg diazepam the two people I trust at work ate both off, feel stupid phoning cmht duty person cos I am struggling feel so useless today and so angry hope these pills kick in soon. Could take another but won't be able to function then. F.... All this I feel so pathetic. Sorry rant over for now.

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Just had s double chocolate chip cookie you never know it might help. Back to my desk I suppose.
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  • Posted

    You're not at all pathetic and venting is something I do also.  It releases our pain and anger and we WANT to feel in control again.  Eat that cookie and feel good again.  A better day will come - it HAS to.   Take carewink

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    • Posted

      Further rant, my day is getting worse I am so angry, up tight, trying to slow breathing down, want to smash the s... Out of anything or everything. Punched walls, tried phoning cmht no one available this afternoon oh dear me, taken more diazepam feel as if I'm going out of control haven't felt this for ages. I've taken a walk out from work I'm crying shaking, wanting to jump in the water to escape this. Hope the drugs wear off before I have to drive home or just f.. Drive anywhere... And breath..

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    • Posted

      Don't know what else you are taking besides diazepam BUT that benzo drug itself can cause those types of adverse reactions......rage, anger, extremem nervousness, depression, restlesness........as well as current side effects while taking,  withdrawal will also do that.  You may be in  a vicious cycle of the drug or drugs in combination?  Worth looking into.......I'm sure you have read the literature concerning benzo drugs....but read-reading the side effect profiles may help you deal with this.......plus keeping in close touch with your Doctor about your reactions and feelings...........good luck and regards....JIM  B.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply i am not on any other drugs in relation to depression at present the psychiatrist was quite happy with me to stay on diazepam, saw her a few weeks ago tend to get 14 a month and do try not to abuse them but lately things seem to be going downhill, but over the last two weeks I was prescried anti inflamitries (spelling)! Naproxen 250mg twice a day, awaiting results from a chest x ray. Whether this has got something to do with it not sure but was told by gp that they shouldn't interact..Don't see GP that ofte ndid have emergency appointment last week as I was ready to go but prior to that in relation to my head haven't seen them for ages as been under psychiastrists having therapy and cpn. So maybe I am going round and round in clrcles plus have been taking pain killers dihydrocoeine in realtion to my chest pains too, Nearly run out of these so that could br something too. Not quite sure what I'm trying to stay I suppose I;ve been over doing things plus alcohol dosn't help either I need a good kick up the backside or shooting I suppose. I just seem to be self destructing been left to my own devices. Which aren;t good and to be quite honest i don't really seem to care anymore. Which is wrong, sorry i'm still on a rant aren't I. sorry when everyone has been so helpful don't want to seem ungrateful. Thankyou.

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    • Posted

      Dont feel bad about seeing your Doctor often !  They should be monitoring you more frequently. at least 2 times per month.....14 months is too long for follow ups I think.  It seems as though you are very jittery and you mind is racing, almost manic . Please understand that all this may be drug induced and  quite frankly the diazepam  is probably the culprit in much of your problem.   However , to get off of a benzo drug can be very tricky as the withdrawal has to be very gradual......your doctor is going to have to help you very closely in accomplishing this. It is critical.  Drug dependence and withdrawal is a very serious thing. I would push my doctor aggressively  to help me in this. Don't give up.....it can be done. Doctors seem to just push patientes off on medications just to get rid of them sometimes .  Dont accept that. You deserve better treatment than that !

      Regards,  JB

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  • Posted

    tina

    When you get the chance explain all to your GP. Relaxation Techniques may help in the future

    Chocy bikkis seem to help me feel more positive, the problem is my drugs make me put on weight,

    Whoo is me, if I eat chocolate I will get my hands slapped

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    • Posted

      Relaxation techniques find that hard tend to go for walks and enjoy the outside so I suppose that is a way to relax, do exercise too but that doens't seem to make me feel better either.

      I put on weight when I was on the dreaded mirtazepine and not lost that much since stopping last December so that dosen't help either. That was  real pain as I lost weight before hand. The chocolate cookie was nice though, sorry.

      Maybe i ought to see my gp more regular but I feel that is being a nusiance as I was under a few different people and got to try and stand on my own two feet and not reply on the professionals as thye will not be around for me all the time which is what they are trying to do. I have abandonment issues plus later I have got to go onto have trauma hterapy due to having symptoms of PTSD. so I'm not finished wiht yet. Sorry ranting again better stop as crying yet again. I'm tottlay messed up today.....................................maybe that is why I keep taking the drugs and mixing with alcohiol to hope that will finish me off. Back to the risk taking again round and round and round again......sorry you got this.

      how is the boat hunting going, when is the boat show? I do hope you get this project off the ground or at least in the water.lol

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    • Posted

      Hi Tina, I must say that I do know how you are feeling as I have suffered with depression most of my life and have hurt myself because of it. I was wrong in trying to control all the things I was feeling by my self and it ended badly. I am scared for you and I think that this is not something that you can control yourself. There are many things that can be going on with you and only a professional can sort them out for you. Go to your Doctor and tell them exactly how u are feeling, mentally and physically and let the Doctor read some of your posts for I think it gives a good sence of your struggles. Do not feel guilty about asking for help for that is why we have doctors, to help us sort out these problems. Talking about how you are feeling to the right doctor WILL HELP. You have to take that first step before something bad happens to you. I have heard u say a few things that are very troubling, one being your feeling of helplessness, it's a bad feeling I know. Another is your medication and use of alcohol, the combination is LIFE THREATENING. Benzodiazepines, pain pills and alcohol are a sure combination for DEATH! Most doctors will not let you take those meds as so many deaths have been contributed to those drugs.My doctor told me that meds those meds will cause the body to relax and stop breathing and the heart to stop. It is So Deadly and needs to stop before it's to late. Please go see your Doctor and let him put you on the right meds that will help you. Drinking alcohol will only increase your depression, that is for sure because it is a depressive, that is what you don't need. I thinking the right medication and therpy will most definitely help in your case. You don't have to keep feeling this way, there is help out there, please make an appointment as soon as possible!

      God bless you and I will be thinking and praying for you.

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    • Posted

      Just woken up from a sleep. Thanks everyone for all your comments and concerns well the you know what hit the fan today. Not too bad sleep didn't drink that much as trying to be good no more pills before going to bed. Got to work then things started going downhill during ameeting just sitting there trying to not cry nothing in relation to the meeting. Then being asked to do certain things as the normal person who does them is off. Computors are great whe nthey work but things kept going wrong. took time out, tried the cmht again short of staff due to school holidays no one available poor receptionist, she had told them this morning that I rang yesterday, said doesn;t matter. Ended up denting a metal filing cabinet. Back to my desk then lost it big time. Message my temp manager who rang me I just couldnt speak. Told take an early lunch went and sat by the sea and started taking pills, not too many but hopefully enough to make me go to sleep stop my head runnning around and around. The receptionist rang back saying someone should ring me this afternoon once she was back from someones house. Rang smamartians as feeling very tired and wanting to go into the sea, feeling diconnected everything felt so unreal, she talked me into ringing NHS24 which I did, getting messages on my phone from people from work asking if I was ok, while talking to the NHS police turned up then ambulance so taken to hospital to be checked over what a waste of public money having an ambulance there are more needy people than me. Got to talk to a few Dr;s then they got cmht on the phone so got an appointment with them tomorrow. Got the all clear to leave and able to drive so went home watched TV and fell asleep. Still feel shot away, no happier, no energy, no concentration no enthusiasm. Just hate being like this, thanks again everyone you all take care Tina xx . 

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry.  I had daily crying fits back in March for no apparent reason.  I just want you to know you are not alone.
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  • Posted

    Hey Tina

    Just wanna say im in the same posistion as you. Ive been incredibily depressed lately and i dont have a good reason to be. it hasnt just happened it has been building over the years and i have recently been very suicidal. Talking on here has helped a bit. Try and distract yourself with things u enjoy.

    Best of luck.

     

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  • Posted

    Hello dear,

    This feeling will go away, you need to believe in yourself that you will be fine like sunshine! i know you will. you are strong and if two people you trust at work ate both off, let it go, they might be needing it more than you. Since you are strong you don't need anything to make you feel good, because you are good yourself. I hope you know that !

      Eat well, stay sober and get a good night's sleep.

    Go out may be for morning walks, meet new people, talk to random strangers and help them. 

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    • Posted

      Positive thinking is fine.....but it will not do much good if the basic problem is the drug itself  causing all this disfunction, which it seems to be. One must first remove the offending agent.....then continue.......it can be very difficult though because the drug withdrawal has to be graduall and will take quite a while. 
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    • Posted

      jimbourg8,

      i agree with you that one must first remove the offending agent, i'm not a doctor/psychiatrist so can't really advise on drugs. However cutting out all the offending agents and at the same time having faith and positivity and working towards a better you helps a lot, atleast for me. So i hope this works for others too!

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