Negative Self Talk During Perimenopause

Posted , 11 users are following.

I am still really struggling with depression in perimenopause. Sometimes, I feel normal and happy, but at other times it is such a struggle to get through the day. I force myself to keep involved in activities that normally bring me happiness: cycling with my boyfriend, working in the garden, sitting in the sun... What I am finding so difficult is the negative self-talk and lack of self-support / love that seems to manifest when I get down. 

I am not sure the best way to deal with it. Often, I will try a mantra, such as "This is just your hormones", "This will pass", or "I have the courage to get through anything". Sometimes it works, but definitely not always. I get so tired of the negative thinking, that I will, at times, just let the thoughts be there, as when I try to wrestle with them, they just seem to intensify.

What's also hard is the rapid mood changes: I can go from deeply depressed to almost mildly euphoric in the blink of an eye. This makes it soooo hard to get through the days.

Before all of these hormone changes, I was confident, happy, well-adjusted, and excited about life.

I can start to get scared when I worry about my normally energetic, bubbly self being a thing of the past.

Are there any other women who have experienced the same during perimenopause?

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Bev,

    All I can say is this all sounds exactly how I feel and I’m sure many other ladies on here.

    Unfortunately I don’t have the answer ? It’s CRAP and I really am beginning to wonder if I will ever feel ‘well/normal’ again ? Most of my days are spent feeling dizzy, lightheaded, miserable and looking like someone I don’t recognise in the mirror 😢

    All I can say is you’re not alone is this journey from Hell xx 

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  • Posted

    Hi Bev,

    I'm sorry you are going through this and the other woman too. I too feel like you, is awlful and I try the same things as you and I have no idea how to get it to stop. They are like negative intrusive thoughts putting my self down or Im just plain cranky inside about everything, this goes on for my week before my period and the week during, then the week after my period I just feel like crying, I do get a few days a month where I feel good...sometimes there are stretches of being good but I never know why or when. I did and do everything to fight it, I try saying positive things to fight the negative, lots of excercise/yoga and keep busy, but it's still a battle.

    I have gone to the doctor more than once for this, their answer is anti depressants, but the first one I was on stopped helping and the second one made me worse....so I don't dare try a third one. It's just only my opinion that the doctors have no idea and are not getting its a hormonal thing and just prescribe anti depressants in hopes we will shut up, but they don't really work on the problem.

    I wish soooooo much I had an answer for you...just maybe telling you Im struggling too and fighting as hard as you are is some comfort. I truly hope we all feel better really soon.

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much, Samantha. I am just praying that this time will end soon. It is so exhausting, especially when I do everything to try to be well. The hardest part is not having control over my moods. They just seem to shift randomly, so I never know how I am going to feel from moment to moment.
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  • Posted

    In the beginning of menopause, the negative feelings and mood swings were hard to deal with. You have to concentrate on positive thoughts. The mood swings are subsiding.
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  • Posted

    Yes I feel the same except I dont get any euphoric spells! I found it helpful to develop new interests even if just simple ones and trying to keep negative influences at bay eg news, negative people etc but still struggling on that front.. 

    I have it worse in the morning as I hate my job and want to move home but cant so feelings of is this it and being stuck. Improves during the day and at weekends. Get very bad feelings about life in general on waking. I have always been a bit on the depressed side which doesnt help. 

    Has anyone had success with prozac? I am afraid to try anything. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Arlette,

      I completely understand what you are saying.  I really do not like my job either, but I am kind of afraid to change jobs with all of the symptoms that I have been suffering.  Weekends and evenings are definitely better for me...so I get it...I really do.

      I am on a low dosage of Prozac for anxiety.  It has definitely helped with the anxiety and panic attacks, so if you are suffering those, it may help you.  Strangely, although it is an anti-depressant,I do still have depressive episodes though. I can't help but wonder if things have just built up so much that it is finally taking it's toll while going through the peri.  I just don't seem to handle things as well as I used to.  Could that be your situation as well?

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    • Posted

      Hi Arlette,

      I completely understand what you are saying.  I really do not like my job either, but I am kind of afraid to change jobs with all of the symptoms that I have been suffering.  Weekends and evenings are definitely better for me...so I get it...I really do.

      I am on a low dosage of Prozac for anxiety.  It has definitely helped with the anxiety and panic attacks, so if you are suffering those, it may help you.  Strangely, although it is an anti-depressant,I do still have depressive episodes though. I can't help but wonder if things have just built up so much that it is finally taking it's toll while going through the peri.  I just don't seem to handle things as well as I used to.  Could that be your situation as well?

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    • Posted

      Yes Im also worried about changing jobs in case I suddenly get a new raft of symptoms. What do the effects of prozac feel like? 

      Agree that if things have been building for years then it comes out more at this stage. For me its numbness just run on autopilot dont seem to feel very much - feel like Im on the outside of life looking in! 

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  • Posted

    Yep.  Exactly.  And what you said about just letting the thoughts be there.  It gets so exhausting trying to fight the thoughts.  Sometimes I just say here I go again to myself.  And try to think about something else. I will try to watch something on tv and tell myself to become totally absorbed in it, so I won’t think of anything else.  Lol.  Exhausting.
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  • Posted

    Yep.  Exactly.  And what you said about just letting the thoughts be there.  It gets so exhausting trying to fight the thoughts.  Sometimes I just say here I go again to myself.  And try to think about something else. I will try to watch something on tv and tell myself to become totally absorbed in it, so I won’t think of anything else.  Lol.  Exhausting.
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    • Posted

       Hi 2car my thoughts is about myself no matter how to try and block keeps coming up as soon as I take my mind off what I'm doing or watching trying hard to put how I feel at the back of my mind do you think about yourself too or only me 

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  • Posted

    I'm experiencing all those things right now. I'm just turned 59 and still in peri....and docs say everything is fine, just family history of late meno. So I can certainly empathize with you.

    I guess we're to just keep self coddling and positive self talks to get through it. And on those days when we need to just let the thoughts sit there - so be it.

    It will all pass soon enough...I guess.

    It really sucks, tho...

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  • Posted

    I noticed that if you try to stay in constant motion, the negative self thoughts, tend to subside.
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