Nervous about starting Citalopram 20mg..advice?

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Hi, my names Kylie. Im 21 years old and have been struggling with OCD since the age of 9, and depression and anxiety since I was 15.  It all started when I became anorexic (age 15), which didnt last too long because of my love of food...so that quickly spiraled into being an out of control bulimic (purging 10-15x a day).  This went on for about 5 years. My mother caught me in the act of purging on christmas one year and said that she  would either send me to rehab, or i needed to go see a therapist and get on some meds to try and get my head on straight.

So, went and saw a therapist, who i really did not like...she was very annoying to me and i felt annoyed to have to talk to her, and i had the  "who was she to tell me how to live when she barely knows anything about my life, even if she thinks she does" attitude.

So, i lied to her (and my family) and said that i was not binging and purging anymore.  Just to get them off my back.  I was depressed, i didnt care about anything, i didnt realize the consequences my body would later endure... i didnt care.

The doctor put me on citalopram 20mg 1x a day and xanax .5's 3x a day.

I didnt like the way that citalopram made me feel, so i stopped taking it (without telling my doctor) but "liked" the feeling of the xanax too much..made me care about my life even less and numb to the mental pain that was ripping me to shreads...this unfortunatly spiraled into a deep addiction with xanax (buying them off the street when i ran out of my own script).. BUT i pulled myself out of this...i still continue to take xanax but have no problem with it at all as I have seen how destructive it can be in your life if not used correctly as a tool to help manage your anxiety.

So my doc still thinks i take the citalopram, bc if i told him i wasnt taking it anymore he would take me off the xanax which help me SO much. (.5 in morning, afternoon, and evening)

But lately I have been seriously depressed, very OCD and out of control with being bulimic which i was able to stop for a sold year and a half

I think that i would like to go back on the citalopram but I am nervous that it will make my hair fall out...when i was suffering from my consequences of bulimia, it made most of my hair fall out.  Now it has grown back, but lost about 1/3 of its thickness

Ive read that some side effects of citalopram are hair loss.

I really dont want to have to wear wigs again,..as that would kick my depression level up even higher.

Sorry for the super long story but i thought backround of my history would be helpful....So do you guys think that going back on citalopram would be beneficial to me? or should i be concerned about the side effects and try to push through w/o the meds?

Any advice is greatly appreciated..thanks for reading

Kylie

 

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kylie

    I really feel for you going through so much at a young age. Citalopram can make you feel pretty bad for the first couple of weeks with some of the side effects. But it's so worth persevering as the benefits can be huge. I started on 10mg and got quite a few side effects but knew from others on this site that this would pass and they did. I am sure your hair will be fine and I dont think this is common so try not to worry too much about that. The main goal is to get yourself well. You have loads of life ahead of you and you need to be well enough to enjoy every bit of it.

    Please try and take your meds as they will help get you better.

    We are all here for you and will answer any concerns you may have.

    Love Lorraine xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you Lorraine... Do you think that i should start with 10mg for the first month or two, then see how i feel and maybe take the whole 20mg pill?

      Your kind words are much appreciated <3

      kylie>

      kylie>

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    • Posted

      Hi Kylie

      I hope your day hasn't been too punishing. I personally think you should start on 10mg and work your way up if need be. In terms of weight I have lost a huge amount of weight in excess of 35lbs in 3 months. Citalopram can make your appetite disappear. Some people gain weight but most find appetite vanishes.

      Keep in touch and wishing you well

      Lorraine xx

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  • Posted

    Hi there, I have been on and off antidepressants for a year, going off on my own because I thought I could do it on my own, well I was wrong. Just recently went on Lexapro, which is like citi only stronger, suppose to work faster and have less side effects! For me it's awesome, I'm on my 14th day on them, I've had very minimal side effects, maybe a little nauseous, kinda dizzy sometimes, but really nothing, compared to how great I feel! When I wasn't on them I get a I don't care attitude and I drink! When I'm on them I don't want a drink at all and more energy, workout and want to get healthy instead of hurting my body. I've never seen anything about hair loss as a side effect, so I wouldn't worry about that. I think also being honest with everything is a great weight off your shoulders. I would say give it a try, going it alone is so, so hard! We all need help sometimes and u deserve to get better and be happy!! Stay strong young lady, u can beat this!!!
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  • Posted

    Hi Kylie,

    My advice to you would be to remain patient and expect things to get slightly worse before you feel better, this drug really is amazing and it can work for you, it worked for me on more than one occassion.

    I am so happy you are seeking help for yourself, we can really let ourselves go through hell before we finally say we need help, I wish we would get help sooner but none the less this is a definite step in a postive direction.

    Post here whenever you need advice.

    Lots of love..x

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    • Posted

      Thank you Jenny <3

      what were the worst side effects you had? did you experience weight gain? thats something i am really afraid of as it could make things worse in my situation..

      thank you.

      kylie what="" were="" the="" worst="" side="" effects="" you="" had?="" did="" you="" experience="" weight="" gain?="" thats="" something="" i="" am="" really="" afraid="" of="" as="" it="" could="" make="" things="" worse="" in="" my="" situation..="" thank="" you.="">

      what were the worst side effects you had? did you experience weight gain? thats something i am really afraid of as it could make things worse in my situation..

      thank you.

      kylie>

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  • Posted

    Hi it says sideffects are hair loss, but it doesn't mean everyone will have hair loss, 90% of the people will not, have hair loss, that's why if u notice, theyare so many side effects, on the leaflet, but u will not get all of them, l had no side effects at all, wish u luck dear.
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    • Posted

      Hi, you have been asking about weight gain, some people gain, some lose, from reviews of people on Citi, they say they are hungry all the time and some say they crave carbs. Well of course if a person eats more they gain weight! I am really watching what I eat, and exercising more, so staying about the same in weight! I've noticed sometimes I get a little shaky like I should eat, so I grab fruit or a handful of almonds. hope this helps some!!! Any other questions, don't hesitate to ask! It gets so much better!!!
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