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This is my life- have a loving boyfriend/partner of 5 years who I live with. I am in a job I love and am good at and can make a career of if I want to. 5.5 years ago I moved 360 miles south for work so I have very few friends here other than the boyf. I have never been a socialiser, I like animals overall better than people. I have always only had a few close friends in life as I have never fitted in very well. I withdraw more from the world when feeling down and can find it hard to open up even when surrounded by those who are caring and supportive.
In 2006 I was 1.5 years in the police service when I ended up off sick for 6 months with stress and depression. I wasn't mhking the grade and that along with some oother personal issues was all to much for me. During my six months off work I got bored after a while and started looking after friends pets when they went on hols and went to a local writer's group. That and the support from a very good friend helped me lots. I was on flouexitine for 3 months and took myself of them as they made life flat. I went to 3 sessions of group counselling but felt it made me worse as I could not relate to the people there.
I was determined I new when life would get me down and I would not let it happen to me again.
Lo and behold its June 2014 am in job I love and have a wonderful boyf and I finally admitted to myself that I had to get help for my depression again. So for the last 8 days I have been on Sertraline 50mg with mild side effects while waiting for it to kick in. Been signed off work for two weeks (ending the 29/6) have a follow up appt with GP in another week and a half and have had a phone assessment with the local counselling service and a follow up in another couple of weeks and on waiting list for CBT. And my work have been really supportive.
So here I am feeling low today not feeling great crying for no reason and struggling to find the motivation to even prepare a simple meal beyond eating a bowl of cereal when I have a mental list of things I gave myself this morning that I want to do round the house that I haven't even started. Logically I know I should move my but and keep busy even that it can help me mentally. But then I think whats the point and then I get down for another day spent doing nowt. Its a vicious circle of thoughts I logically know how to reduce but the emotional side of me likes to war with my logical side. So I escape on the phone and trawl the web and find this forum while looking up the side effects of sertraline. Though its 1703 now and have done sweet fa all day besides help get my boyf out the door on time this morning for work its nice to know this forum is here just to open up and stuff.
Even if there are no replies to this ultra long start of a dissussion it was cathartic just writing this. Apoligies for spell errors in advance eyes still a bit teary
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