New anxiety about dying

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Hello, I have been up all night with a fear of dying. I've had fears of being sick on and off growing up but my mother always talked me out of them. Tonight however, I started getting random flashbacks of my life just like how everyone explains the flash of memories before you die, well now I just feel like I'm going to die and I can't fall asleep because I want to wake up, I don't want to die. I'm 21 and otherwise have been quite healthy. Recently I went through a rough break up and have had suicidal thoughts and had wanted to die I even got a feeling of wanting to make a will in the event of dying. Now I'm worried because I realized I don't want to be dead and I'm worried this is one of those situations where I just knew I was dying and I will die.

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  • Posted

    I also should add I have been diagnosed with Seasonal Anxiety and Depression usually I'm very affected in the winter but I think maybe the break up triggered something. I've always been more depressed and have had a harder time talking myself out of depressive thoughts however, I have had high anxiety for various things since I was a child. I use to see doctors alot but eventually I was able to talk myself out of certain thoughts I still very much suffer from panic attacks and get stuck on various fears now and again. They usually are centered on me having something wrong with myself either mentally or physically health wise but it has never been thoughts like this. What should I do?
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    • Posted

      Hello. Could you try to accept that this is anxiety? You have to learn how to manage this. Doing your best to stay awake won't stop you dying if you're really going to, will it?

      But I do not think for a minute that you're dying. Also, you have enough insight to recognise that this is part of your anxiety disorder. I know it's scary but somehow you need to push through the fear and relax. And stop googling illnesses!!!        love Tess

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much! I was able to fall asleep once I realized what was happening. See I never acknowledged or even understood the anxiety side of my diagnosis whenever I would see my counsellor it was to talk about my depression and thoughts of suicide, my worries and fears and panic attacks were never talked about I think because the fears felt so real at the time and I would work myself up but the next morning or when I could talk myself out of it I didn't want to bring up to anyone for fear of looking crazy or being laughed at. I've only gotten stuck on a few different worries. After last night though I'm intrigued about how the mind does what it does. I never thought that some of my thoughts could be caused by anxiety I kind of just let them cycle through and assumed that it was something I had to just endure. I was able to calm down and use the CBT that I learned in school to help myself. Thank you again for your time and concern
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  • Posted

    Remember that you have anxiety and that these thoughts your having are because your anxious, I think you would benefit from a good rest, you aren't going to die, it feels like you might I know the feeling far too well but I'm still here, relax and take some time for yourself. If you are really worried call your doctor they may prescribe you something to take the edge off. Or to help you get a bit of sleep. Don't worry I've had thoughts similar and got busy doing other things I forgot about them, go to sleep, I wish I could I love my bed lol it's 10.30am here so a long time yet hahaa
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    • Posted

      Thank you so much, I'm also kind of fascinated with myself and my mind right now, I work in the counselling profession and I'm always so interested in the mind and how it works. I never realized what I was experiencing was anxiety usually I am able to dismiss my thoughts and I sturggle more with the depression side of my diagnosis however, it never occured to me what worry and thoughts could be helping give power to my depression or how stuck I do get on worries that usually would be thought and then dismissed. I'm in awe alittle by what I experienced as weird as that might be to say.
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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear how this is affecting you. I've had a fear of death since a misdiagnosis on 2011 and it took me some time to work through the issues.

    I don't think the random flashbacks are anything to worry about. If anything it's better to be able to remember things than not. I've had these too and enjoy them.

    It's not easy to focus on the positives but you have a desire to be alive and from where you've been that's a big step and real progress. When I was a teenager I had repeated suicidal thoughts. That all seems so alien to me now and it sounds like you have a healthy and natural desire to be alive.

    Some things gs have helped me like affirmations, relaxation and meditation. ditagio.

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    • Posted

      Sorry, phone went a bit funny there ...

      I've recently had health anxiety and the one thing that really helped was listening to affirmations you can find online on a well known popular video website.

      Hope this passes for you. Please stay strong and dont think you are alone with this.

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