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Hi. So I’ve been a heavy/binge drinker for many years. I have complex ptsd (all my life) and MPS. I have known I have a big drinking problem. Won’t argue that. But I have always had a very hard time figuring out what I need to do and would work for me.
I can not drink for a couple/few days if I force myself and will not really have to physical withdrawals. I don’t have legal issues. I resigned from work (because my ptsd got worse) 6 yrs ago so I don’t have issues there.
I drink a 750ml bottle of wine or a fifth of whisky in a matter of anfee hours each evening. Over the years when I have quit, I cannot stay quit. I tried AA but it triggers my ptsd horribly and actually makes things worse. Not something debatable.
I can’t feel like I belong in a rehab because I’m not physically dependent. I don’t need detox perse. By sheer facts, I am not a textbook (addicted physically) alcoholic. But I know I need help. I think it’s causing me some physical health issues now. For years I never experienced a blackout. Now that’s a regular occurrence. I just don’t know where I belong. I would have loved to do SMART but there’s nothing anywhere near me (I’m in the middle of country no where).
I have an appt this week to talk about antabuse. Just....not sure. In one respect I’m so ready to be done. On the other hand I’m scared and don’t know what to do...or what I’ll do without alcohol. I use it for deep emotional pain that I don’t think I can deal with, and for serious physical pain too. Maybe something like antabuse will ‘force’ my own hand and give me the consequnce I need to not drink. Thoughts? (Kind ones please. Blunt is ok, but not abusive. Been there done that). Thx
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