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New Gilrfriend with genital herpes!

Posted , 8 users are following.

wally-2
wally-2

Hi, my first post. I have met a fanstastic girl and looks like were absolutely compatible. Problem is she has genital herpes and i dont. We havnt slept together yet. But soon?

My question is, is there a way to avoid GH for aguy? Beside using a condom? I dont even know if that will help.

Am i pretty muich resigned to contrcating it if sleep together? Like 100%, no avoiding it?

It would kill me to say goodbye to her over this and it would kill me to contract gnetial herpes. Dont know what to do here....

Please nay advice?

Thanks

Desperate.

 

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Koolredd
    Koolredd wally-2

    Posted

    If she is on suppressive treatment / medicine that is a pretty positive way to not contract the disease ., and condoms are also pretty safe .

    As long as she isn't on an outbreak when you guys try ...

    what type does she have .. One or two ?

  • itsok2015
    itsok2015 wally-2

    Posted

    Not to mention, just due to biology, it's been proven that it's harder for men to contract the virus. Herpes likes to live in moist environments.

    I had symptoms of my first outbreak, the condom broke and my boyfriend still did not contract it. So I think as long as you do the research and understand the minimal risks, you should be fine.

  • amy07772
    amy07772 wally-2

    Posted

    I am in the same situation. Just the guy I'm seeing doesn't have it. He likes me so much that he is trying to figure out a way to have a healthy relationship. I've researched it and as long as you guys are careful and she is honest about when she has symptoms and Don't have sex during an outbreak the risk is minimal but you have to decide if that is what you want. My guy is trying but t is still an issue. He doesn't want it. I don't want to give it to him. I really want the relationship to work but I think in the end he may leave. His feelings for me is why we are still seeing each other. He wants to wait and see if we could last. He doesn't want to risk anything if we won't last long or at all he doesn't want to get it and then have to be stuck with that forever and have to explain to his future girls friends. Which I understand. I would def do some research so you feel comfortable and are more knowledgeable to beable to make the decision.
    • itsok2015
      itsok2015 amy07772

      Posted

      I've seen so many posts similar to yours, about how guys are indecisive about their relationships based on the fact that their girlfriend has this stupid little thing.

      It's awful to see that some men would leave based solely on that - like we're some sort of alien or awful subhuman. It's a shame that it controls relationships in some cases. I hope for your sake that it doesn't end up being that way. Nobody deserves it. If they're smart and they do the research, they won't care that you have it and will stay no matter what.

      Just have to educate each other.

    • amy07772
      amy07772 itsok2015

      Posted

      I have tried to educate him but he still doesn't want to risk getting it. I understand where he is coming from he doesn't have anything and doesn't want to have anything especially potentially catch something from me if we don't work out. He tried walking away once already. I even spoke to my dr and told him the risks and everything. Idk how he feels about it. He just wants a healthy relationship. He feels that by me touching him with my hand he could get it. That's how freaked out he is. He just wants to Beable to kiss me and have sex without having to worry. He worried about what if we get in the moment and don't wear a condom things like that. I'm hoping that things will work out but everytime we see each other he brings it up. So idk. Only time will tell
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus wally-2

    Posted

    No sex during outbreaks/prodromes reduces your risk to 4% per year (not per encounter). Condoms reduce transmission by 30-50%. Daily suppressive meds (for her only, not you) will reduce transmission by another 50%. If all of the above are done, your risk is about 1% per year.

    *However* the above assumes an established, monogamous, hetero couple with full disclosure, the most relevant in your case being "established". Most infections occur within the first 3 months of a new relationship, plus the longer a person has had it, the better (for a few reasons). Long-time discordant couples may also have some unknown dynamic that keeps them that way, so I wouldn't apply these percentages to everyone or couple.

    The stats above apply to HSV-2, so you need to know which HSV type she has and for how long she's had it. Makes a big difference. I can also message you a link to more info, if you'd like.

    • Koolredd
      Koolredd FelizCastus

      Posted

      Can you message me a link? I need all the information I can gets
    • catia11
      catia11 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Those stats are interesting and helpfl FelisCatus - would you have similar stats for GH HSV-1
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus catia11

      Posted

      No, because no studies have looked at discordant gHSV-1 couples. However, the percentages would be even lower than the ones above for HSV-2.
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