New Gyn/ not Happy, Your opinion?
Posted , 16 users are following.
Okay LS Friends, I need your council. You may remember my mentioning that my Gyn took six biopsies and then left the practice 3 days later, before I had my results. I went on my planned vacation with no treatment plan, treated myself homeopathically with Emuaid Maxx and Emuaid, joined your forum, changed my diet and got things under control. Got home 5 weeks later and went to her partner who was left in the old office. I was not thrilled that it was a man, but he seemed nice, read my test results, seeemed knowledgable about LS, discussed diet changes, other possible treatments including the laser, prescribed Clob, wanted to test my hormone levels and thyroid, etc. and asked to examine me to eatablish a baseline. I finally said okay and he examined me and his nurse was present as he took a picture with his cell phone, downloaded it into my chart and deleted it from his phone. He said that woman Dr tend to codfle their patients and are too emotional, so maybe a male Dr would be better for me. I had complained about clitoral pain, so right before I left he said to tell my husband we had homework to do ( oral sex) and tell him next time if it hurt at all.
I went back a month later to get the results of my blood tests and all was normal except low testosterone, so he prescribed a cream to slowly raise the level. His nurse said he would not be examining me because “ the Dr is sure his treatment is working fine”?? At the end of the appointment I told him I had two areas of concern. 1 was my rt labia was now significantly smaller than my left. He said “ how do you mnow it wasn’t always like that” alot of women have two different sized feet and breasts, maybe your labia is too” I replied that I have been inserting tampons since 8th grade and they were def. not like that before. Then he said “ so what, what do you need them for? They serve no purpose. Do you think your husband cares if you hv them? All he cares about is a warm , wet hole to put it in. That’s all men want- a warm, wet hole. You got one of those right?” I was flabbergasted and didn’t even ask my second question. I went put to the front desk to make a 5- week appt. but the more I thought about the more upset I got! I felt objectified and realizedc a Dr should NEVER talk to a patient that way and a MAN should NEVER talk to a woman that way. I finally told my husband a few days later and he was so angry and wanted to punch him in the nose! I made an appointment with a different female Dr, had my records transferred and cancelled my appt. with him.
Am I over- reacting? Am I too sensitive due to this topic or is this Dr out of bounds??? Your thoughts??
0 likes, 49 replies
susan43705 karen23320
Posted
Geeze Karen. That's awful. You did the right thing in my book. He was crass and rude and minimized the importance of what you were feeling. It is shocking when we lose parts of our bodies, whether they serve a purpose or not, we were born with those parts and that is what we are used to looking at. How dare he talk to you in that manner. It is so hard to find a doctor we can trust. I stopped going to male gynos a long time ago. I'm not saying that female doctors are better, but at least they understand what a woman is going through. I hope you have better luck with the new one. It sounds like you have a good man by your side.
Take care on this mystery journey we are on. xo
ruth34896 karen23320
Posted
I may have lost control and hit him with a right hook. That is horrible!! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Your concerns should have been in a compassionate way, with professionalism. I have a female GYN Oncologist, who everyone says is good, but I'm not sure if I believe that. My biopsy came out as LS, also...squamous cell carcinoma cannot be excluded. They found nests of squamous cells. She was flippant and said: I don't believe the Lab, it's not cancer, let's wait until October and see if it clears up. The Lab suggested a larger sample...nope, not going to do it. Sometimes, medical people just amaze me. Don't let one talk to you like that.
jacqueline96242 ruth34896
Posted
julia2017 karen23320
Posted
I'm so bothered by this "doctor" that I cant even find words. Taking a photo with his cell phone is also WAY unprofessional too. The way that digital images never truly delete is my concern. And he was crass and rude. No man or doctor should talk that way!
And just today I had an appointment to try to get some absolute help rather than the sketchy help I have had in the past and my female doctor came right out and she didnt know what to do for me and maybe I could "go online and find someone who specializes in skin disorders". I want to just cry. I mean why put me through the embarrassment of the exam and the re mb arks of shock if you know you have no idea what to do.
Nancy_K_B julia2017
Posted
OH Julia! .. at least she was honest. I have read a couple articles that mentions that on the whole dermatologists might know more about LS than Gynecologists. It's just that derms don't have stirrups. what a catch 22. so we have to go to gynes and then to derms if we care to.
karen23320 julia2017
Posted
Keep looking, we’ll find the right Dr!
ellen61061 karen23320
Posted
Nancy_K_B ellen61061
Posted
HI Ellen, my dad was a lawyer and several of my daughter's friends are lawyers. In this case, I have a different opinion. I don't know if you are aware, but OB-gyn's are a dying breed - because they get sued more often than any other medical practice apparently. I know a couple of brilliant young women who were steered away from their first love - becoming an ob-gyn.. precisely because the medical malpractice insurance was so horrifically higher than other fields.
SO what catch 22 - if we women WANT to have a loving caring WOMAN OBGYN we've gotta make the profession not liable for every single little offense. (I'm 72, there were exactly ZERO women Gynecologists when I as young.)
We CAN do something about offensive behavior without suing ignorant people. We can EDUCATE THEM. with a letter that gets their attention perhaps. BUT threats of malpractice over their heads is not the way, in my opinion, to encourage better SENSITVITY, or to have enough doctors when and where we need them. Maybe you have some idea along the education line that might be helpful for us all.
ellen61061 Nancy_K_B
Posted
I'm 56 and have had great Dr's
(females) where do you live? I call B.S. and you need to stop scaring people here. I will represent you for free and win if what your saying is true and charge zero fee to you.
Nancy_K_B ellen61061
Posted
What? have you misinterpreted something, Ellen? I'm not scar or scarying anybody, or certainly don't mean to? I don't bulls**t either, so that's offensive of it's own. This makes no sense to me... represent me for what? huh.
Nancy_K_B ellen61061
Posted
I don't understand what you are saying - I tried to respond just now but it was held back. I said nothing offensive but you did, very confusing this autobot.
Nancy_K_B ellen61061
Posted
Don't knopw what you thinki was lying about - I don't do bs. but here is one
"Medical malpractice premiums have many factors that go into determining the premium; specialty, risk, location, part time, full time, and existing claims. ... Medical malpractice insurance companies that insure OB/GYN physicians assume a muchmore risk due to the long period of time that patients have to file a claim.Feb 3, 2011Rising Cost of OB/GYN Medical Malpractice Insurance - eQuoteMD"
karen23320 ellen61061
Posted
ellen61061 Nancy_K_B
Posted
If what happened you you happened to me there would be major consequences for that Dr. I don't understand why you would not reach out for legal help. You have a case. End of discussion. I truly wish you and all the best going forward.
ellen61061 karen23320
Posted
Your situation just needs to be reported. The "warm wet hole" Dr. Completely crossed a major line. And I am not sure when everyone here will HAND OVER YOUR OWN PHONE for any pictures. All the best to you Karen.
Nancy_K_B ellen61061
Posted
Dear Ellen, I"m still not sure you are talking to me, Nancy or to Karen. But your "end of discussion" comment apparently does not take into account different opinions on how to move our culture forward. You appear to be taking the old testamont God's Eye for an Eye version. I'm working from the paradigm that moving into more harmony on this planet requires working to bring more understanding and spiritual growth possibilities for everyone. The doctors comment to KAREN about vagina holes has no excuse but "killing" the man is not the answer, educating him, even censuring if needed but AWAKENING helps everyone.
ellen61061 Nancy_K_B
Posted
I don't recall saying to "Kill him" just take action. He is abusive and deplorable and needs a wake up call.
I am in perfect harmony in my life but can tell when something just stands out as unethical.
karen23320 ellen61061
Posted
He is a 60 yr old man and I think it was his misguided attempt to reassure me of my husband’s continued love and desire- however, if that were his wife or daughter, would he have spoken in that manner?
I will be discussing the matter with my former, female Gyn ( his former partner) and will still file the complaint so he is aware of his behavior.
Thank you for responding. I truly do appreciate all feedback and opinions.
ellen61061 karen23320
Posted
Guppy007 Nancy_K_B
Posted
I agree. I think most of you know my thoughts on doctors by now. But, I think he should only receive a warning letter, it sounds like he seriously blundered (he's oldish) and was trying to make her feel okay. Not acceptable of course, but let's not get carried away.
Nancy_K_B Guppy007
Posted
Thank you Guppy/Katie, I personally believe we have become an entirely too litigious society as a way to solve human interpersonal relationship problems.
My father as I was mentioning to Ellen was a lawyer, born in 1918 and after the Navy in world war II. He told me he quit law early because of exactly this debate going on with Ellen's interpretation of things - using the LAW instead of learning how to live in community/society.
susan43705 Nancy_K_B
Posted
Back to inappropriateness by doctors. I do think a letter is in order and if he was part of a larger practice, a letter to the director. I remember when my Dad was in rehab for hip replacement in his 70s and was in excruciating pain and crying out for help, and the nurse said to me and my mother that my father could be better managed if we weren't so involved and didn't visit him so much. My father was the bravest man I know, having flown 69 bombing missions in WW2 and never complained. The nurses had given my Dad the wrong meds and the pain was because his abdomen was filling up with blood and causing all the pain. He was eventually rushed to the hospital and was in ICU for days near death. The doctor in rehab did not take my father's cries seriously. My sister and I did write a letter to the doctor and the establishment to no satisfaction other than getting it off our chest. The place has since changed hands and management many times and the doctor died of cancer shortly thereafter.
I also think being elderly, in our senior years, for some of us, I fear that doctors just don't care how we feel because of our age. Well, that's just my paranoia.
What comes out of our mouths very often is what is in our hearts, and Karen's doctor doesn't sound wholesome.