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New here.

Posted , 3 users are following.

rj21813
rj21813

Well as stated I am new here. I have had this curse for almost 9yrs now. Its sucks and it also is embarrassing. I contracted this curse from a past gf who didn't tell me she had it after cheating on me. At first I was so upset but after I came to terms with it I just learned how to deal with it. I just wish there was a cure for this ungawdly curse. I have always been open and honest with women who would like to go the next step. Some have left and others have stayed. I am in no means a manwhore. But I know how it feels to get this curse and not be told. Thats why I always let my partner know and wear protection. Sorry for the ramble but it feels good to vent. Ty.

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • jo24149
    jo24149 rj21813

    Posted

    Yea it sucks and honesty is the only way to go even if you didn't get that courtesy. This is a good forum and I've learned a lot from this group. I was recent diagnosed in early February with HSV-2.

    My amazing boyfriend contacted it 30 years ago and he was open with me. We thought we were being careful but I guess not.

    I was devastated but reading what others have to say has truly helped!

    • rj21813
      rj21813 jo24149

      Posted

      My fiancée knows and we have been together for 2yrs now and she has not contracted it and has given me a son. So all is good so far. I am glad I found a group like this to ask questions and to vent about this gawd awful curse.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken jo24149

      Posted

      Oh wow Joe. . well first off, I love that your bf was honest w you about that, as I honestly feel the vast majority of people lie about it. With that said, it says a lot about the RJ and your bf and you. I feel the same way... I don't feel like the option to not tell even exists, it amazes me how people can be intimate w you and enjoy the moment w such betrayal behind it. My best friends ex wife didn't tell him she had it, until after 3yrs of being together!!! Luckily he never got it, but omg!? How can people live w themselves!?

      Would you mind sharing your experience in more detail?

      - how soon into dating did he tell you?

      - what was your reaction?

      - how protective measures did you take to reduce risk of transmission?

      - how long were you all sexually active, until you got it?

      So sorry you got it, but as much as I hate having it and I have days when I'm angry, as I experience symptoms every single day.. Even on daily suppression and about two obs a month, there are some positives I did get from this as well. I know that sounds weird, but I think it's forces me to be stronger, reevaluate things more, establish boundaries more and many more things...

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken rj21813

      Posted

      Hey RJ, so sorry that you gotta seal w this, I know all too well, but why does it bother you so much after almost a decade? I mean you have a fiance and a family now.. That's the part that makes herpes so terrible... The fear of rejection or not having a partner is what makes it a curse, the rest is just annoying. So what makes you have such a heavy heart after all this time?

      Have you ever passed it to anyone? Do you have 1 or 2?

  • rj21813
    rj21813

    Posted

    Well feelbroken I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers. I feel bad because I do have this but I don't sit around and feel bad for myself, I feel bad because a trust was broken, I feel bad because an x could be hinest and tell me she had it. But there is nothing I can do about it now.

    You say you feel bad for rejected but if you really think about doesn't it make you feel better being rejected then lying to someone and not telling them and they end up catching it and then the real troubles begin. Your name and good nature would mean nothing anymore, you would be an outcast in your own town or city. I do get symptoms once in awhile where my spider senses tingle. The back of my left leg starts hurting, I pee every 10mins it feels like. As for the type I have I don't know. I was told I have it because I went in when I was having an outbreak. I get what looks like little water blisters on the bottom of my head on my penis. They are there for a few days then they go away. I have learned stress is a huge huge reaction to an outbreak. So I try and live stress free as much as I can. So again I am sorry if I ruffled your feathers.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken rj21813

      Posted

      I'm not sure why you think my message to you was one of anger, ad you mention ruffling of feathers. I had zero anger and was literally just trying to understand your position and understand why, as I've only had this for 7 mo this and I'm hoping yo god I don't feel the way you do, 9yrs later; hence me trying to understand why ypu feel that way. Think you may have read that defensively, as there was no malice on my message and I was truly trying to understand why. You're the first person I've seen commmment something like this after so many years and feeling that way and none of my friend who have had it as long or the same amount of time or longer, feel as you do. So I sincerely was trying to understand why. I'm sorry that it affects you that much, after all this time.
  • stew73079
    stew73079 rj21813

    Posted

    Mate there's so many far worse conditions to be dealing with. I am 22, have HSV-2 and I'm at the exact stage that FeelBroken referenced - single, and worried about how it is going to effect my future as far as relationships and family goes. That being said, I've come to terms with it and i'm not mad at all.

    The condition itself is absolutely nothing in relation to HIV, Cancer, Blindness, Paralysis etc. By the sounds of things the cards you've been dealt aren't bad at all, you've got a wife-to-be and a kid. Yeah it's not ideal, it hurts and is embarrassing, however, there's people going through so much worse.

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