New Job tomorrow & drink monster is tempting me

Afternoon,

Firstly, you have taken the first step... To openly discuss your thoughts before reacting to the voice. That, in itself is will-power.

Let me tell you a little something about my '(ex) habbiy'

Sunday's were, for me, a day to drink too. Once I finished work, I'd get a bottle of wine and maybe a couple of beers and regret it the next day at work. Not only did this impact my work, but it impacted my routine of going to the gym too. I would beat myself up and guess what, grab another bottle that evening; it became a vicious cycle. I did this, because I live in a house share, we hardly interact, so the drink was company. Not only was drink company, it became a dependency.

However, I felt so proud of myself on the Monday when I chose not to drink on the Sunday eve and instead I opted to put a film on to feel the void. Sunday's were just one of a few nights that I would drink. I needed to change due to something silly I did. I'm 29 and had been drinking alcohol from a young age.  It started as a once-a-week social thing but in recent years it turned to a few nights a week, and most recently, 7 nights a week. I used my past and present as an excuse. From example, blaming the fact that I am not where I want to be, wallowing in self-pity, but realising, that it was quite simply me. I wasn't allowing myself to 'be where I wanted to be' because I lacked confidence, had anxiety etc. That, in hindsight, was down to alcohol and the amount that I drunk. Furthermore, I've lost many friends, been band from places, said some harsh words and that too was down to alcohol. I actually have a kind-heart, caring etc etc and my family and the one close friend I want people to see the real me.

So...

I made the decision to focus on myself and quit alcohol for a year last Friday - scary huh!! I've done it for 6 months before, so I know that I am capable. I need to break the habit. It simply is, about breaking the habit. I'm 8 days in (wish me luck lol!). I swap my evening sessions, for the gym/gym classes/running, which I did before but not as passionate as I am now; even re-joined Slimming World, as I better loose some pounds due to not drinking :p  I'm more positive about my future and I'm working towards my career, my head is clearer and I'm less moody hahah. When I am ready to go back on to drink, I will take medication (as discussed in previous posts) to stop the chemicals mixing.

Therefore, I end this with 'is it worth it?'. You state that this is a job that you've really wanted and it really doesn't look good if you go in to work fuzzy head, unable to focus and worst of all, smelling of booze.

 

Eeek, excuse the spelling/grammar mistakes.. I'm typing quick, as I am at work.

Hi Sadie,

I am currently in private rehab for 28 days i have done 12 and almost walked today (had my first visit from husband) wanted him to take me home. Be strong and think of this dream job. I have just written a letter to my addict (alcohol) and feel much better for doing so. Be proud of yourself for cutting down and having open drinking. Keep us all posted always having someone to talk to in similar situations is helpful. Leanne x

Good luck in the new job. You can do this Sadie 

Hi sadie dee

I echo  Vickylou's message. ! I really do  hope the new job goes well for you and as Vicky say 'You can do this'! !  

Would love to know how you are  x

Hi sadie dee

I echo  Vickylou's message. ! I really do  hope the new job goes well for you and as Vicky say 'You can do this'! !  

Would love to know how you are  x

Me too Sadie - good luck - new start for you - brilliant.  You must post how you are doing - so good to read x