New Job tomorrow & drink monster is tempting me

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi everyone,

So I thought I would post on here today as I am starting a new job tomorrow which I really wanted so I am delighted about it. Usually tonight would be a drinking night for me but of course I don't want to drink in case I feel like crap tomorrow & smell of booze. I am already fighting with the voice in my head saying well just start earlier than usual & stop earlier & you will be fine & then I'm saying no just don't do it but the voice keeps looking for an excuse to do it.

Last night I had a few drinks openly at home with my husband & for those of you who know my story I would usually secret drink also so I could secretly consume more but I openly drank & had no alcohol on Friday. I want this to be my new weekly routine just the one night & in the open. I end up consuming less when I am not secret drinking. I drank last night just over 3 quarters of a half a bottle of vodka instead of the full half a bottle & I did feel drunk. Once I drink Saturday I crave more on the Sunday as my comfort treat. I am so so tempted to just start earlier in secret but it can't go like this. Any during the week drinking has got to stop also which isn't as often to be honest - today's habit is killing me.

Any advice would be much appreciated. 

Thank you x

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  • Posted

    Afternoon,

    Firstly, you have taken the first step... To openly discuss your thoughts before reacting to the voice. That, in itself is will-power.

    Let me tell you a little something about my '(ex) habbiy'wink

    Sunday's were, for me, a day to drink too. Once I finished work, I'd get a bottle of wine and maybe a couple of beers and regret it the next day at work. Not only did this impact my work, but it impacted my routine of going to the gym too. I would beat myself up and guess what, grab another bottle that evening; it became a vicious cycle. I did this, because I live in a house share, we hardly interact, so the drink was company. Not only was drink company, it became a dependency.

    However, I felt so proud of myself on the Monday when I chose not to drink on the Sunday eve and instead I opted to put a film on to feel the void. Sunday's were just one of a few nights that I would drink. I needed to change due to something silly I did. I'm 29 and had been drinking alcohol from a young age.  It started as a once-a-week social thing but in recent years it turned to a few nights a week, and most recently, 7 nights a week. I used my past and present as an excuse. From example, blaming the fact that I am not where I want to be, wallowing in self-pity, but realising, that it was quite simply me. I wasn't allowing myself to 'be where I wanted to be' because I lacked confidence, had anxiety etc. That, in hindsight, was down to alcohol and the amount that I drunk. Furthermore, I've lost many friends, been band from places, said some harsh words and that too was down to alcohol. I actually have a kind-heart, caring etc etc and my family and the one close friend I want people to see the real me.

    So...

    I made the decision to focus on myself and quit alcohol for a year last Friday - scary huh!! I've done it for 6 months before, so I know that I am capable. I need to break the habit. It simply is, about breaking the habit. I'm 8 days in (wish me luck lol!). I swap my evening sessions, for the gym/gym classes/running, which I did before but not as passionate as I am now; even re-joined Slimming World, as I better loose some pounds due to not drinking :p  I'm more positive about my future and I'm working towards my career, my head is clearer and I'm less moody hahah. When I am ready to go back on to drink, I will take medication (as discussed in previous posts) to stop the chemicals mixing.

    Therefore, I end this with 'is it worth it?'. You state that this is a job that you've really wanted and it really doesn't look good if you go in to work fuzzy head, unable to focus and worst of all, smelling of booze.

     

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  • Posted

    Eeek, excuse the spelling/grammar mistakes.. I'm typing quick, as I am at work.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sadie,

    I am currently in private rehab for 28 days i have done 12 and almost walked today (had my first visit from husband) wanted him to take me home. Be strong and think of this dream job. I have just written a letter to my addict (alcohol) and feel much better for doing so. Be proud of yourself for cutting down and having open drinking. Keep us all posted always having someone to talk to in similar situations is helpful. Leanne x

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  • Posted

    Good luck in the new job. You can do this Sadie 
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  • Posted

    Hi sadie dee

    I echo  Vickylou's message. ! I really do  hope the new job goes well for you and as Vicky say 'You can do this'! !  

    Would love to know how you are  x

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  • Posted

    Hi sadie dee

    I echo  Vickylou's message. ! I really do  hope the new job goes well for you and as Vicky say 'You can do this'! !  

    Would love to know how you are  x

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  • Posted

    Me too Sadie - good luck - new start for you - brilliant.  You must post how you are doing - so good to read smile x
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